General Hospital blog - March, 2008

March 1st, 2008

Next week: Apparently they’re not going to drag the car thing out too long (way to blow your CGI budget for just a couple of episodes), Kate keeps picturing Sonny and Claudia together (EW!), and I think Patrick finds out that Lucky isn’t Jake’s father? Why does he care? Oh, and if you thought we were rid of Emily forever, YOU’RE WRONG. Unfortunately.

March 3rd, 2008

Jason fights with Diego, who gets away, then gets Elizabeth out of the car. Sam, however, is still in the car when it goes over the bridge. Robin and Patrick fight about the baby, then go their separate ways, her to get an ultrasound, him to go to Jake’s and share meaningful glances with Claudia. Kate stands up to Claudia but can’t get the idea of her with Sonny out of her head. Maxie and Spinelli are still trapped, but at least they’re entertaining and know that they might be up against an Alcazar.

I pretty much already know the answer to this, but is it bad that I think Elizabeth was selfish for not telling Jason that Sam was in the trunk until AFTER he’d gotten her out of the car? Not that he would have changed his plans, I doubt (Sam is his ex while Elizabeth is the mother of his child, after all), but still.

Also, does anyone care that Diego got away? No? Okay, then.

Noooo, Patrick! Don’t give in to Claudia’s wiles! Also, Claudia, stay away - he’s sad and vulnerable!

Poor Kate. I feel her pain. I have to see what she sees, after all.

Dear Garin Wolf, do you really think Trevor would EVER set foot in Jake’s? Sigh. Hurry back, other writers. You may be flawed, but I think for the most part your collective flaws cancel each other out.

March 4th, 2008

Lucky saves Sam, who’s managed to hold onto the bridge (whatever), and I think this might be the end of their breakup. Nikolas takes Nadine to wherever it was Sam supposedly killed Diego, but the two argue and he heads off to have a headache and see Emily. Diego arrives, chloroforms Nadine, and prepares to detonate his bomb. Nikolas grabs him, ready to get his revenge. Maxie tries to crawl through the grille in the sewer but gets stuck right before it might be getting ready to raise itself. Jason’s hands are apparently so injured that he might tragically never shoot a gun again. Jerry and Alexis flirt boringly. Michael’s sort-of caretaker tries to convince him to call home. Carly tells Sonny she’s pregnant. Ian randomly kisses Leyla.

Oh, please. Jason will be fine in two months.

Seriously, either Greg Vaughan just wasn’t paying attention or Lucky still likes Sam. Did you see the way he was touching her in the hospital? He still likey.

Maxie, pull yourself out! Idiot.

It’s pretty bad when Alexis and Jerry bore me into fast-forwarding.

March 5th, 2008

Maxie and Spinelli get out of the sewer and find themselves in the lair, where they figure out that Nadine has come and gone, and Spinelli accidentally chloroforms himself. Maxie comes across Diego, who has just almost killed Nikolas, and after some fighting and near-strangling (and Maxie awesomely stabbing Diego in the leg with a knitting needle), Diego accidentally hangs himself. Everyone else is fine, but Nadine is still missing and the bomb is still in play. Ian decides he should recuse himself from Sam’s case since he’s attracted to her (though she doesn’t seem to mind the attraction). Then he goes and picks up a hooker who looks kind of like her. Cruz wonders how Jason knew where Sam and Elizabeth were, suspecting it’s because he dumped Alcazar’s body at the bridge. Randy arrives in town. There was Luke/Scott/Lulu stuff and Sonny/Johnny stuff, but I ran it up.

Methinks Elizabeth doesn’t want Jason to heal, since then he may have to leave the mob and they can be together and have 10,000 more babies and live happily ever after.

Diego’s such a bad killer that not only did only one of his intended victims actually die, but the seven people he tried to kill in one night (Sam, Elizabeth, Jason, Lucky, Nikolas, Maxie, and Nadine) are all still alive while HE’S dead. Ironic!

I didn’t realize Patrick hated Jason so much. Actually, I can’t even remember the last time they interacted with each other. In other words, shut up, Patrick.

If that hooker winds up dead, we’ll know Ian is really...I don’t know, Jack the Ripper?

Uh, does someone want to let Alexis know that A) her daughter was almost killed (again) and B) the guy who almost killed her is (well, was) still out there? I mean, I just think she should know things like that.

March 6th, 2008

Nikolas rescues Nadine, but the bomb is still in play, and Ric and Marianna may still be near it. Carly overhears Kate telling Jax that Sonny “cheated” on her. Patrick gets suspicious when he sees Elizabeth bring Jake to visit Jason. The winged guy tells Jerry to get himself a business partner (Jax?) and step things up. Sonny tries to get Claudia to leave him alone. Spinelli and Maxie visit Georgie’s grave.

I hate to get all “we were on a break” on you, Kate, but Sonny didn’t cheat on you - you WERE on a break. And you were the one who did the breaking, so I think you need to just get over it.

I just figured out who did Jerry’s plastic surgery! I’m so smart.

Why didn’t we get to see Nikolas rescue Nadine? Did they not want to pay her for more scenes?


March 7th, 2008

Nikolas tells Alexis and Emily that he won’t have the surgery, and both respond that they’ll find a way to make him. Lucky tells Sam he saved her because he still cares about her, not because he was a cop, but she thinks he deserves better than her. Patrick tells Elizabeth that he’s the father of Robin’s baby, and Robin tells him to stop talking about it. Jax agrees to go into business with Jerry. Spinelli and Cassius open a box of Stan’s belongings and find The Island of Dr. Moreau. The bomb counts down but… does nothing. Sonny, Kate, Claudia, Zacchara, Johnny, Michael, blah, blah, blah.

Boring, boring, and more boring. There wasn’t even a cliffhanger! Oh, and Garin Wolf? Nikolas was raised by his uncle, not his father. And Alexis would know that. (Which makes me wonder why Nancy Lee Grahn didn’t correct the line.) Also? Shut up.

Sonny wants to end the battle with the Zaccharas? Shocker! We have scenes like that once a month, at least.

Tyler Christopher, please, please, please stop chewing the scenery. The couch thanks you.

A big hee to the Johnny/Milo scene. Very nice. Oh, but if Johnny’s going to be such a snob about classical music, he should probably learn how to pronounce Debussy’s name.

Dead (apparently for real this time): Diego Alcazar
Hospitalized: Jason Morgan
Injured: Lucky Spencer

March 10th, 2008

Lucky overhears Elizabeth and Jason talking about how she may have hit Sam, and learns that they’re secretly together. Nikolas collapses and is taken to surgery, where he sees Emily. Ian is the winged guy, but some of us already knew that. Johnny keeps denying that he knows where Michael is, even when Sonny threatens to make sure he can never play the piano again. Later, he manages to snag a cell phone and call Lulu, who happens to be with Logan. Apparently Marianna is the world’s best waitress, so Mike hires her. Randy shows up but Ric chases him off.

Awww, Lucky. But really, are you surprised Elizabeth and Jason are together?

I know it’s too much to ask, but could this be the last of Emily?

Hey, Josh Duhon? Even when you’re not really in the scene and we can just see you in the background, don’t move.

What was up with Mike thinking Marianna was awesome for pouring coffee and moving plates around? I could do that!

March 11th, 2008

Sonny gets mad at Johnny for calling Lulu instead of negotiating a trade with Trevor, then bugs Jason about not finding Michael, despite the fact that Jason has the excuse of HAVING BEEN IN FREAKING SURGERY ALL NIGHT AND HAVING SOCK PUPPETS FOR HANDS. He heads over to the Zaccharas’ house and threatens to kill Johnny (who Trevor has now found) if Trevor doesn’t give Michael back. Nikolas almost dies in surgery and passes his time talking with Emily. After he’s revived, he gets aggressive while trying to refuse surgery and knocks Robin down. Sam is not-so-secretly thrilled that Ian and Lucky are vying for her attention. Ric and Marianna…something.

Dear Sonny, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? That’s how you treat your best friend, who risked his life to save two women (one of whom was almost the mother of your child, by the way) and is possibly not going to be able to work for you anymore? How does anyone actually stomach spending time with you, anyway? You’re such a self-centered, egotistical jerk. Diane’s right - Kate should run away as fast as she can.

Sheesh, Ric, it’s been, like, five years since you and Elizabeth were together. She doesn’t hate you anymore. (Though after all the panic-room crap, I wouldn’t blame her if she did.)

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I actually kind of liked Sam today. I loved the look on her face when Ian and Lucky were arguing about her. Hilarious.

Awww, I like this Spencer. He looks like both Cameron and Michael, which is weird, since they’re kind of cousins but not related by blood. (Pop quiz: who is Spencer’s mother? Because I honestly don’t ever think about her and they haven’t mentioned her in, like, two years. It’s Courtney, by the way.)

March 12th, 2008

Jason finally figures out that Michael probably shot Kate (who’s having some sort of health issues), but Sonny won’t go for it. Jason sends Spinelli to do more investigating. Maxie should totally go with him because she seems to have inherited Felicia’s PI genes. Nikolas pulls a scalpel on Nadine, effectively ending the surgery. He then secretly meets with Ian to get some drugs that will prolong his condition. Claudia kind of convinces Sonny that she doesn’t have Michael, but he still doesn’t want to let Johnny go. Robin doesn’t want Patrick to try to get involved in the baby’s life. Logan might finally be waking up.

Sonny owes Jason a HUGE apology (for many, many things, of course). And maybe a cake. Okay, maybe not a cake. New hands?

I don’t know if I would like them as a couple, but I love Maxie and Spinelli’s scenes together.

What was up with everyone being so surprised by Sam telling Lucky to watch out for Spencer? Are we supposed to think that she’s a really nice person now and that’s why she did it? Because...that’s her cousin’s kid, so I’m guessing she would have done it no matter what. Shut up, Garin Wolf.

Speaking of Sam, maybe Nikolas’ end of his deal with Ian should be to get him a date with his cousin.

March 13th, 2008

Spinelli ends up naked in the warehouse of doom after sneaking aboard a boat and having his clothes taken in retaliation. Maxie comes to his rescue, and though they figure out that Diego has set a bomb to go off, they don’t realize that it’s literally over their heads. Michael finally returns to Port Charles, and for some reason decides to hang out in the warehouse of doom. Kate (who has a heart infection) confronts Sonny about Claudia just as Claudia pays Ric a visit. Jason goes to Seattle for more surgery. Ric offers Alexis her position as DA back. Monica and Tracy continue their battle, making Lucky suspicious.

Why is Elizabeth acting like such a five-year-old? He’ll be back! He’s not going to stay in Seattle forever. (Well, unless he happens to fall in love with one Callie Torres while he’s there, and wouldn’t that be awesome?) Also, they have these things now called phones, where you can actually talk to people who are far away. Imagine that!

Eh, maybe they’ll just kill Marianna and give Kate her heart. Works for me.

Why did Lucky go to Jason instead of Elizabeth? I’m sure she’ll appreciate that the big, strong men are taking care of everything so that she can take care of the children and NOT GO HELP PATIENTS IN DISTRESS. (Worst nurse ever, by the way.)

Hey, Claudia, if you sleep with Ric, you’ll be joining the We Slept With Siblings Club, which features Alexis and Sam as its charter members. I’m sure margaritas will be plentiful.

March 14th, 2008

Michael and Carly finally reunite, and he confesses that he shot Kate (who he thinks is dead). Claudia tries and fails to make a deal with Ric for the waterfront property, but she’s much more successful make a deal to trade Sonny shipping lanes for Johnny. Too bad Trevor has Vaughn ready with a sniper rifle, which he fires just as the waterfront property goes boom. Elizabeth confesses to Lucky that she thinks she hit Sam, who’s now been suspended from Everyday Heroes and will probably never return. Lucky seems to agree with Elizabeth that it would be best to pretend the case is closed, but Sam overhears the conversation. A panicked Marianna summons Ric to the waterfront property, where he finds Randy’s dead body. Agreeing that Logan is responsive to Lulu’s presence, Scott and Lulu call a truce. (And Luke was totally supposed to overhear that Scott killed Rick Webber, but that didn’t happen.)

So are we supposed to believe that the entire episode took place within the span of three minutes? Or did the bomb just keep stalling or something? Eh, I’ll just add it to the list of reasons I’m sick of Garin Wolf.

Once again, I’m feeling sorry for Sam and wishing evil on Elizabeth. Huh?

Why is Luke on maybe once every other week while we have to put up with boring Trevor/Claudia scenes practically every day?

Logan’s going to be pretty mad when he wakes up and finds out that despite hanging out with him for the past few weeks, Lulu slept with Johnny right after she put him in the hospital. Awkward!

Back in town: Michael Corinthos
Dead (apparently): that Randy guy
Left town: Jason Morgan
Possibly went ‘splody: Michael Corinthos, Sonny Corinthos (who we know from the previews is alive), Carly Jacks, Marianna Erosa (which is apparently her last name, like I care), Ric Lansing, Trevor Lansing, Vaughn, Claudia Zacchara, Johnny Zacchara

March 16th, 2008

This week: tons of mob stuff (of course), I think Carly has a miscarriage (shocker), and...well, more mob stuff.

March 17th, 2008

Johnny rescues Michael, then heads back into the warehouse (which we’re apparently calling a cannery now) to find Claudia. Instead, he comes across Sonny and Trevor and attempts (but fails) to shoot Trevor. Trevor learns from Marianna that Ric is still inside the cannery; he’s attempting to drag Randy’s body out and dump it in the water, even though it makes a lot more sense to just leave him in the cannery and pretend he was killed in the explosion. Sonny and Jax look for Carly, who’s dreaming about playing pool with Jason, but Sonny comes across Claudia instead. Lulu goes to the cannery hoping for news about Carly and happily reunites with Johnny instead. A chat with Michael makes an extra-grumpy Robin realize that she’s a hypocrite, leading her to actually apologize to Patrick.

God bless the other writers, who are back and can possibly mitigate some of the Garin Wolf craziness. And thus ends Please Oust Garin (though I reserve the right to revive it at any time and for any writer).

I’m not the least bit surprised that Carly is dreaming about Jason. I hope Jax eventually finds out and dumps her because despite having been married 28 times since she was last sort of with Jason, she still fantasizes about him.

Why, why, why doesn’t Ric just LEAVE THE FREAKING BODY? I kind of want a beam to fall on his head, because at least he might get some sense knocked into him.

I still think a Jerry/Alexis pairing would be ridiculous (he TRIED to KILL her DAUGHTER, for the love of cheese), but yes, the chemistry is fun. And if she’s never going to get back together with Ned, and a repairing with Jax is most likely never going to occur, I might - MIGHT - be able to get used to it. Might.

Yay, Robin finally understood what I’ve been saying about Elizabeth for a year and a half! Well, she did go to Yale.

March 18th, 2008

Ric saves Carly (!!), who continues dreaming about Jason as she’s treated for hypothermia. She finally decides to leave him and head back to the real world. Lulu is shocked to see Johnny beating up Sonny and runs to Logan’s room, where she babbles about how she’s made a mistake until Logan finally wakes up. Robin and Patrick finally makes up, and he defends her when Claudia proves that she’s a huge jerk because she doesn’t want an HIV-positive doctor treating her. Sonny tells Ric he owes him for saving Carly. Jax orders Sonny to stay out of his and Carly’s lives. Alexis confides in Jerry that she thinks something weird is going on between Trevor and Marianna.

Uh, they did this hypothermia storyline years ago when Carly was pregnant with Morgan. I remember because, for some reason, they showed two episodes that day, and I was in college and had a class and was annoyed that they were showing two hours. So basically what I’m trying to say is, why are they doing this again?

Oh, Jax, that is not a good color on you. Good luck keeping Sonny away from your kids...oh, wait, that’s right - they’re HIS kids. Shut up, Jax.

Speaking of people who need to shut up, SHUT UP, CLAUDIA.

Why am I so happy to see Logan awake? I don’t even care about him!

March 19th, 2008

Carly promises Michael that he won’t be punished for shooting Kate, but Jax thinks she’s making a mistake and lets her know. Claudia visits Carly to tell her that Johnny saved Michael, then warn that there’s a mob war a-brewing. Carly gets stressed and unsurprisingly is probably about to miscarry. Trevor tries to make Johnny, Claudia, and Zacchara think that Claudia wants to take over the business and kill Johnny. Logan has no hard feelings for Lulu, who admits that she has feelings for both him and Johnny. Sam confronts Lucky about covering for Elizabeth, then threatens to turn Elizabeth in to the police. Elizabeth fights back by threatening to tell the police that Sam let Jake get kidnapped.

Claudia Zacchara: mobster. Bigot. Baby killer.


You know, I have to say it’s refreshing that a) Sam, Lucky, and Elizabeth have actually moved on from lying and keeping secrets from each other, and b) Lulu isn’t leading Logan on. Though Lulu should know by now not to go to Elizabeth for relationship advice.

Okay, why hasn’t Spinelli told anyone that Diego set the bomb in the cannery? I would think he would have gone straight to the police to tell them about it before it even went off. Slacker!

March 20th, 2008

Unsurprisingly, Carly miscarries. Jason returns to town (pretty much fine, and like I said, in two months we’ll never hear of this again) to hang out with Carly and tell Sonny not to kill Johnny (though it might be a good idea, since Johnny wants to kill him, too). Sonny tells Kate that Michael shot her, and she suggests that he get Michael some counseling. Diane warns Jason that Carly could be held responsible for her son having a gun. Sam and Elizabeth hold each other’s crimes over each other’s heads until Sam realizes that she can make herself look good to Lucky by saying she won’t press charges, which is, of course, exactly what she does. Spinelli and Maxie STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE THAT DIEGO PLANTED THE BOMB. ARRRRRRG! Lulu basically tells Johnny to choose her or his job, and he chooses the opportunity to kill Sonny, so she heads back to Logan.

Methinks when the writers returned, they didn’t want to do the whole Jason-might-have-to-leave-the-mob thing (because this show is nothing without a mob storyline), so they’re just going to sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. Fine by me, actually.

I still don’t like Sam, of course, but I have to say that I’m amused by her “oh, I’m actually a good person - much better than Elizabeth, of course” act with Lucky. She was smart not to try to call Elizabeth’s bluff (considering her crime was worse than Elizabeth’s) and win herself some points with Lucky while also still having something to hold over Elizabeth in the future (both the hit-and-run and Jake’s paternity). I like devious Sam a lot better than trying-to-be-good Sam and whiny Sam. (Though drunk Sam is still my favorite Sam.)

Speaking of drunk, I love how Diane and Max get flirty (her) and awkward (him) around each other, thanks to their near-drunken tryst last year. And I don’t think I need to say that I love all of Diane and Alexis’ scenes together.

Hmmm, if Michael’s going to have therapy, they’ll have to get someone to play a therapist. Hmmm...I wonder if there’s anyone around who could do that.... (Seriously, where’s Lainey?)

March 21st, 2008

Sonny offers up a truce with the Zaccharas, one of the conditions being that no one goes after Alcazar’s property. Johnny agrees to the deal, against Claudia’s wishes, but later tells her that he still wants to kill Sonny. Claudia catches up with her old friend Ian, who asks to move some drugs through the Zaccharas’ territory. The drugs happen to be funded by the $10 million Nikolas is giving Ian in exchange for a year’s worth of non-curing, Emily-hallucination-maintaining pills. Lucky wants to try things with Sam again, and she’s definitely in favor. Elizabeth spots the two of them together and knows exactly what’s up. Spinelli seems to have evidence that Monica hit Sam, so Jason goes to confront her. Patrick is shaken up by Carly’s miscarriage and admits to Elizabeth that if Robin miscarried, he would feel the loss.

When Nikolas finds out he’s funded the new influx of drugs in town, he’s going to be MAD. (Especially if my prediction from weeks ago is correct and Lucky ends up relapsing.)

Speaking of Lucky, I like that he got to have that scene with Monica where he encouraged her to get help (well, really, threatened her, but close enough). Sometimes he does get to be a nice guy.

Does Sonny really think things will be that great now that he has a (kind-of fake, at least from the Zaccharas’ perspective) truce? Please tell me he’s not that naïve.

I’d be more excited about the upcoming Jason/Monica scenes if I knew she was going to yell at him all through them.

Awake, finally: Logan Hayes
Back in town: Jason Morgan
Miscarried: Carly Jacks

March 22nd, 2008

Next week: I think Ric gives Alcazar’s property to Trevor, then makes an offer to Zacchara; Claudia goes to Luke for information on Sonny; and “Monica pours her heart out to Jason,” which sounds like good news to me.

Also, keep your fingers crossed that the rumors about Helena returning this spring are true...

March 24th, 2008

Monica admits to Jason that she did hit Sam (who promises not to press charges), then goes for another drunk-driving session, crashing again. Alexis and Harper find Randy’s body, and Alexis tells Ric and Marianna. Trevor later tells Ric that he wants Alcazar’s waterfront property in exchange for not giving the police a tire iron (the cause of Randy’s death) with Marianna’s fingerprints on it. Maxie wants to work for Kate, and she wants Spinelli to help her seem smarter. Carly and Jax are all sad and stuff. Kate and Sonny blather about sacrifices. Claudia pretends to meet Ian for the first time, for some reason. Sam tells Lucky that Monica hit her, so he doesn’t have to pretend he wants to be with her anymore. (Not sure of the logic there, but it’s Sam, so whatever.)

Silly me, I thought Monica was going to kill Marianna. (What? They have to get rid of her somehow.)

Jason, please stop encouraging Elizabeth to think selfishly and continuously use the words “me” and “I.”

Hee, still loving Maxie and Spinelli’s scenes together. Maybe he can tell her that Kate already has an assistant - in fact, she was the woman who opened the door for Maxie. I think Maxie really wants an internship and just doesn’t know the word.

Way to end the truce, Trevor. Also, why do Claudia and Johnny let him hang around the house if they hate him so much?

March 25th, 2008

Trevor tells Ric that he’s the reason Marianna is in his life. Angry over pretty much everything ever, Ric signs the deeds over to Trevor, then tells Sonny, who’s predictably unhappy about the news, especially since it comes the same day he called a truce with the Zaccharas. Monica’s crash has made her do a 180 - she’s okay with Jason again, and she wants to turn herself in for the hit-and-run. Claudia tells Jason that she and Johnny would consider it “an act of good faith” if he happened to get Trevor out of the picture. Patrick freaks out while holding a baby, then tells Robin that he wouldn’t mind holding their own baby. Carly and Jax tell Michael and Morgan there won’t be a baby. Kate can’t help herself from hoping that if the truce works out, Sonny will eventually leave the mob forever.

Awww, Ric. Just when you were back on the good loop of your good/bad roller coaster. Women in town, beware of panic rooms!

Yay, I like it so much better when Monica and Jason aren’t fighting! And he should definitely tell her that she’s Jake’s grandmother.

Oh, Kate. Sonny can’t leave the mob. The writers would never allow it.

That baby Patrick had to hold was hands down the cutest baby to appear on the show in the past two years. (Sorry, twins playing Jake.)

It’s not exactly what I was crossing my fingers for, but Anna will reportedly be back (not sure for how long) starting April 25th, which means she’ll be the last to know that Robin is pregnant. Actually, Robert will probably be the last to know. Uh, does anyone know where Robert is, by the way?

March 26th, 2008

Claudia tries to get information on Sonny out of Luke, then pays Kate a visit, spurring Kate to tell her she dresses like a streetwalker. Jason asks Diane to represent Monica, who has skipped a bunch of the 12 steps and started right in on making amends, complete with allowing Tracy, Luke, and Lulu to move back into the mansion. Monica prepares to confess her part in the hit-and-run to Alexis, and though Diane stops her from saying anything, Alexis figures out that she was the culprit. Robin is worried that karma will come back around to bite her, in the form of something happening to the baby. Carly is all sad and stuff. Jax thinks Kate should split town, but she doesn’t agree. Nadine wonders why Nikolas would start a charitable program in Emily’s name when he’s not going to live long enough to see it off the ground. (She doesn’t know that it’s really just the writers’ way of getting him to hang around the hospital so he can talk to Ian.)

Robin doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would believe in karma, but whatever. It’s supposed to be quirky, I guess.

Kate, while I appreciate the effort and the humor, you should probably show a little more respect for the woman who literally stepped over your body and left you to die. Though she does dress like a streetwalker, and now that Kate and Tracy have both said it, maybe Claudia should start listening.

When did Maxie become so smart all of a sudden? There’s hope for her yet!

Wow, Alexis really is a good lawyer - I never would have connected those dots.

March 27th, 2008

Ric confronts Marianna about her ties to Trevor, then breaks up with her, leading her to go back to Martha’s Vineyard. He then asks Sonny to consider secretly working with him to bring down (and eventually kill) Trevor. Claudia has similar machinations, as she again asks Jason to kill Trevor. Carly is upset that Jason lied to her about being Jake’s father, and promises to not say mean things about Elizabeth anymore (yeah, right) if he stops lying. Lulu admits to Carly that she can’t stop thinking about Johnny. Luke convinces Tracy to let him stay at the mansion. Nadine, Elizabeth, and Robin realize that Nikolas isn’t getting worse - and may actually be getting better - even though he never had surgery. Nikolas wants Nadine to stop bugging him.

Carly? SHUT UP. You are the world’s worst best friend, and I don’t have any idea why Jason puts up with you. Leave him and everyone else alone already.

‘Bye, Marianna! In about a month, I will have forgotten your name, and a month after that, I will have completely forgotten your entire plotline. Nice knowing you!

Is Kate wearing a bright yellow coat to make sure no one accidentally shoots her again?

Yep, Lulu got bitten by the bad boy bug.

March 28th, 2008

Jason tells Claudia that if she wants Trevor dead, she’ll have to take care of it herself. On other killing fronts, Claudia tries to recruit Ian to kill Sonny so they can move the drug shipment, and Ian tries to pass the job off to Jerry, who won’t do it. Ric vows to destroy Trevor with or without Sonny’s help. He visits Zacchara (whose insanity is apparently reversible) and offers to help him get out of the institution. Jason heads back to Seattle for more surgery, assigning Spinelli to follow Sonny, who seems to think he doesn’t need as many guards now that the truce is on. Sonny also wants to let Johnny, Claudia, and Trevor destroy each other. Jax wants to be more involved in Kate’s new magazine, Crimson, than just on the money end. She’s skeptical until he helps her out with a negotiation. Carly tries to convince Lulu to work for Kate and spy on Jax for her, but Lulu won’t agree to it until she gets so mad at Maxie that she decides she has to.

Is Steve Burton just getting three-day vacations every two weeks now? Or is something actually going to happen while he’s out of town. Or maybe I was right and he’s having a passionate affair with Callie Torres! They would have cute kids.

I’m surprised Carly didn’t go off on a rant about Jax hugging Kate. Also, they’ve totally forgotten about the baby, haven’t they?

Uh, is Ric going to ask Zacchara to kill Trevor? Because I don’t think that’s going to be possible.

Speaking of killing people, what’s with everyone passing the buck on killing Sonny? Johnny wanted to do it, but Claudia asked Ian to do it, and then Ian tried to get Jerry to do it. Why don’t they just hire some random hit man and call it a day? Heck, I’ll do it. I don’t even need that much in the way of compensation. Maybe some Cherry Coke Zero and dark chocolate.

Broke up: Marianna Erosa and Ric Lansing
Left town: Marianna Erosa, Jason Morgan

March 30th, 2008

This week: Robin and Patrick go on a date (!), Ian finally starts doing stuff, and “Claudia and Johnny’s plan backfires, resulting in tragedy.” (Quick, who’s expendable?)

March 31st, 2008

Ric promises to try to get Zacchara released in exchange for his help in destroying Trevor. Johnny makes it clear to Ric that he never wants to see Zacchara freed. Claudia plans to have Sonny killed on Friday when he comes to meet a coffee shipment. After Lulu proves that she has some business and marketing smarts, Kate agrees to hire her, which means we can expect a lot of Maxie/Lulu feuding until one of them finally kills the other. Sonny catches Spinelli following him and tells him to stop. Alexis tries to fight her attraction to Jerry, but she doesn’t seem to be having much success. Robin and Patrick are cute again. Carly is predictably jealous of Jax’s friendship with Kate.

My prediction for Friday at 7 p.m.: Sonny takes Michael along to meet the coffee shipment and something horrible happens. Well, “horrible.” I, of course, don’t care what happens.

Someone make Carly stop.

Be strong, Alexis! Don’t forget that Jerry tried to kill your daughter and your nephew!

The narration is kind of annoying, but I love Spinelli the Not-So-Disguised P.I.

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