"An Affair to Remember"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino; directed by Matthew Diamond

Emily and Richard are complaining about their neighbors at Friday night dinner. They’re mostly upset that the neighbors, the Richmonds, handed out king-sized candy bars at Halloween, when the Gilmores always hand out full-size bars. Lorelai laughs when her parents start talking about the Richmonds’ loud ball machine and the fact that balls are always flying all over the place. “You are four,” Emily says. Rory changes the subject to Richard’s job, and he asks her about school. Lorelai thinks that Rory is taking too many classes but Rory just likes to be busy. Emily says that they’re having mini lemon bundt cakes for dessert. “Well, they’re serving full-size bundt cakes over at the Richmonds’ house,” Lorelai says. Later, a photographer comes over to take a photo of Richard and Digger (see “The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles”). The men sign their papers and officially embark on their partnership. After Digger leaves, Emily says that she thinks he’s too young. They discuss the business’ launch party and decide on a Russian theme. At Yale, Rory learns that all of her reading assignments for one of her classes have been moved up a week. Lorelai and Tom discuss renovations at the Dragonfly Inn. Sookie arrives and tells Lorelai that Emily called and wants the two of them to cater Richard’s launch party. Lorelai realizes that she forgot to tell Emily about their catering business; apparently Emily thought only Sookie would cater until Sookie told her they had a partnership. Sookie talks Lorelai into accepting the job, noting that they’ll make a lot of money.

Kirk shows Lorelai some mailboxes, offering to throw in a carved duck doorstop and a garlic peeler. Lorelai thinks it’s too early to pick a mailbox, since they haven’t even decided on a color for the inn yet, but she’s impressed that one of the mailboxes looks like Condoleezza Rice. Kirk wonders if Lorelai and Sookie would cater a dinner for him and his brother’s ex-girlfriend, Lulu. She’s coming to town to visit her mother and Kirk has had a crush on her for a while. Lorelai thinks it’s sweet that Kirk wants to have a date with Lulu but suggests that he take her to a restaurant instead. He isn’t sure what she likes, so Lorelai advises him to take her someplace where he would be comfortable. Kirk asks Lorelai to help him pick out what to wear. Rory returns to her suite to find Janet jumping on a trampoline. Paris is ignoring the ringing phone because she thinks Jamie is calling and she’s ignoring him. She starts picking up the phone and hanging it up again, keeping it up as Jamie keeps calling. Rory finally answers the phone and tells Paris to talk to Jamie. She then makes Paris take the call outside so she can study. Paris leaves and Rory tries to study but gets distracted by the TV in the common room. Tana thinks that Rory wants her to turn off the TV, which she’s entitled to do, since Emily bought it (see “The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles”). Rory decides to leave instead.

At Lorelai’s, Sookie tries to perfect her broccoli tart, complaining to Lorelai that Emily is too picky. She’s also worried because Emily hasn’t called to give them the details about the launch party. Lorelai doesn’t want to have to call her but winds up doing it anyway. Emily criticizes her for not telling her about the catering business. Lorelai says that she sent a flier, but Emily didn’t get it and asks her to bring one with her to Friday night dinner. Emily gives her some details for the launch party, then blasts her for not telling her about the catering company, then lying about fliers. She says that if this were any other company, she would fire them. Lorelai tells her to fire them, then, since they’re a professional company. Rory arrives and discovered that there are broccoli tarts all over her bedroom. “You quiched my room,” she says. Rory is upset that she can’t study there and can’t find a place to study at school. Kirk heads to the diner and asks Luke where he would seat him if he were Tom Cruise. “In an acting class,” Luke replies. Kirk wants to know where the best seat in the house is; he reserves a table for his date and gives Luke a diagram of how he would like it to be set up. He’ll have to bring his own flowers and champagne, and Luke isn’t willing to let him use the apartment upstairs if things go well. On his way out, Kirk asks a customer if meatloaf is a romantic food.

Lorelai and Sookie head to the elder Gilmores’ to do a test meal for the launch party. Sookie is impressed by the house and asks if there’s a moat. They go to the front door but the maid sends them around the back to the servants’ entrance. At Yale, Rory passes a student named Glenn (Ethan Cohn) who complains about his classes. She pauses outside her suite, then decides to study outside, finding a nice tree to study under. Back at the test meal, Emily starts in with the criticisms. She finally tells Sookie that once the presentation has been fine-tuned, everything should be fine. After Emily leaves the room, Sookie celebrates but Lorelai tells her that they already had the job, Emily was just toying with them. At school, Rory talks to Lorelai on the phone about her perfect study tree. Lorelai complains about Emily’s psychosis. Lorelai goes to the diner and tells Luke that she doesn’t think she can handle catering the launch party. Kirk is nearby with a video camera, practicing for his date. “You ever think about how many different ways Kirk could get kicked out of the Army?” Lorelai asks. She thinks it’s sweet, but Luke isn’t happy that Kirk has been there all day, ordering everything on the menu to find out “which meal has less crumb-to-sweater ratio.” Lorelai says that Luke can ask him to leave, but he wants Lorelai to ask him, since she’s the reason Kirk is there. Lorelai points out that if the date goes well, Kirk will be spending less time at the diner.

Richard and Emily are going over details for the launch party when Digger arrives at the house to get keys to the office. Emily asks for his guest list for the party, though this is the first time Digger is hearing about it. He would rather take a trip to Atlantic City, which Emily finds undignified. Digger thinks the trip will set them apart from other companies. Richard leans towards this option, even though Emily thinks that it’s a horrible idea. They finally decide to cancel the launch party. At Yale, Rory heads to her study tree and discovers a student already there. He refuses to leave and let her use it. Kirk brings Lulu (Rini Bell) to the diner, where Luke plays along by pretending that he doesn’t know Kirk. Emily heads to Lorelai’s house and tells her that the party has been canceled. Lorelai is upset that this is happening after Emily made them do a test meal and jump through other hoops. Emily agrees that the situation is wrong; she says that she liked the food and was looking forward to the party. She explains that Digger wants to take the company’s clients to Atlantic City. Lorelai asks if Digger knew about all of the work Emily had put into the party. Emily says it isn’t important - she’s thrown parties for Richard for years, but if he thinks that Digger is right, she’ll go along. She points out that at least now she doesn’t have to worry about the party, but Lorelai is upset on her behalf. At the diner, Kirk goes to talk to Luke and asks if Lulu is still there. Luke assures him that she is and that things seem to be going well. Kirk agrees but thinks this is weird - he expected everything to go horribly. Luke isn’t sure why, but he thinks that Lulu likes Kirk.

Sookie throws away broccoli tarts at Lorelai’s, complaining that she already knew what she wanted to do with the money from the party. Rory arrives and tells Lorelai that she lost her study tree. Lorelai tells her to suck it up and come up with a new study plan instead of complaining. Rory notes that Lorelai is mad about something. Lorelai tells her she’s going out to do something and she wants all of the tarts gone by the time she gets back. “Grab a fork,” Sookie tells Rory. Lorelai heads to Digger’s office, having left a bunch of unanswered messages for him already, and tells him that he can’t just walk into people’s lives and take over. She blasts him for the way he treated Emily. Digger notes that he didn’t know about the party, but Lorelai thinks that he should have canceled his plans when he learned about it. Apparently Lorelai is also still upset about some things that happened when she and Digger were at summer camp together. She orders Digger to apologize to Emily and let her throw the party. Digger agrees to apologize but not give in to the party. (He also calls her Umlauts, an old camp nickname.) Digger wants to take Lorelai to dinner but Lorelai refuses, since he insulted her mother and indirectly got her fired from catering the party. He notes that she’s being pretty protective of Emily. Digger tries again to get Lorelai to come to dinner, noting that Emily would hate it. “Yes, my mother would hate it,” Lorelai agrees. “A lot. You suck.” At Yale, Rory apologizes to the guy who stole her tree, then offers him $20 to leave. He accepts and she gets her tree back.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Tom: “You want me to turn this into stables?”
Lorelai: “Yes.”
Tom: “Without a magic wand or some sort of fairy dust?”

Lorelai: “Kirk, I forgot you were here.”
Kirk: “If I had a nickel for every time I heard that.”

Emily: “You know, a few years ago, there was a company called Independent Catering. They were all the rage until they catered the Kirov benefit for diabetes that sent 300 people to the hospital with a vicious case of food poisoning. Well, needless to say, they went out of business immediately, and I believe one of them left town without packing.”
Lorelai: “Oh, well, that’s a good story. Hans Christian Anderson?”

Emily: “You have the word ‘juicy’ on your rear end.”
Lorelai: “Uh, well, if I had known you were coming over, I would have changed.”
Emily: “Into what, a brassiere with the word ‘tasty’ on it?”

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