"A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Kenny Ortega

Rory and Lorelai watch Grey Gardens at home and talk about the Kennedys. They realize that the women in the movie are them in a few years. At the inn, Sookie panics that her kitchen staff won’t be able to cook Thanksgiving dinner without her. Lorelai tries to get her to calm down. Emily arrives, standing behind Lorelai, and Sookie greets her. Lorelai thinks Sookie is calling her Emily and jokes that Joseph Stalin is standing behind Sookie. Emily thinks she’s being compared to Stalin. She’s come to talk to Lorelai in person, since Lorelai wouldn’t talk to her after the Yale fiasco in “Let the Games Begin.” Apparently Lorelai has also played sick the past few Fridays to get out of dinner. Emily wants Lorelai and Rory to come to Thanksgiving dinner the next night, even though they already have plans. She tells her that other people will be there, so Lorelai might not even have to talk to her parents. Lorelai tries to get out of the dinner, but Emily says that she and Richard will be out of town after that, so this is the last chance for all of them to be together for the rest of the year. She reminds Lorelai that she wasn’t the one who set up Rory’s Yale interview. She adds that if Lorelai is going to play sick again, she has to provide more than a doctor’s note - she has to bring her doctor to dinner.

At Chilton, Madeline calls biology class distracting; she and Louise think that everything their teacher said was dirty. Rory brings up Thanksgiving, asking what everyone’s plans are. Paris complains that she can’t find a shelter to volunteer at. She gets a call from one and tries to harangue them into letting her help out. Back in Stars Hollow, Rory and Lorelai wonder how they’re supposed to attend four Thanksgiving dinners (one at the Kims’, one at Sookie’s, one at Luke’s, and one with Emily and Richard). Lorelai notes that they have to go to her parents’; they can make the dinner at the Kims’, since it’s early, and Sookie’s is mid-afternoon. They decide that they’ll have to skip dinner at Luke’s in order to make everything else. The girls run into Kirk, who’s just bought a cat and has gotten a bunch of stuff from the Chat Club. He’s named the cat Kirk, deciding that it’s not confusing, since he’ll only be calling the cat, not himself. He decides that it might be easier to call the cat CatKirk and him HumanKirk. After he leaves, Rory comments that he’s always been a cat person, just without a cat. The girls head to Luke’s, where he’s already getting their usual Wednesday dinner ready, since he saw them coming. Lorelai gives him the news that they won’t be able to make dinner with him; after he walks away, the girls wonder if he was disappointed, realizing that he actually enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with them all these years. Lorelai pretends to call Emily and clear their schedule so they can have dinner with Luke. Luke doesn’t want to make them feel obligated but Lorelai convinces him that they want to come.

The girls try to figure out how they’ll eat four dinners, even though they have a lot of experience with eating a lot of food. Lorelai thinks that this will be their finest moment after years of preparation. They decide that they should skip the rolls to make a little more room. Thanksgiving morning, Lorelai and Rory stop by the market to get flowers and cranberry sauce. Rory also wants Tums, just in case. Lorelai goes to get the food and Jess approaches Rory, making her a little uncomfortable by kissing her in public. She thinks it’s too early to flaunt their relationship in public. Jess realizes that she doesn’t want to make Dean jealous and wonders how long they have to hide. She tells him that they can make out in private. Lorelai runs into Kirk in the market; he’s buying First Aid stuff because CatKirk has been attacking him. Apparently the cat likes for Kirk to announce his presence before entering a room. The cat also doesn’t like Kirk to put his or her food bowl down in front of him or her. Lorelai notes that Kirk doesn’t know the cat’s gender; Kirk says that the cat hasn’t let him take a peek yet. Lorelai encounters Dean and they share awkward conversation. She says that she doesn’t want to avoid him (especially since it’s so hard to in Stars Hollow) and she doesn’t want him to think that he needs to avoid her. Outside, Lorelai shows Rory the chocolate turkeys she bought. Rory asks if Dean was inside and if he’s doing well. They head off to eat.

First up is Lane’s, where Mrs. Kim doesn’t understand what she’s supposed to do with the chocolate turkey they give her. Lorelai suggests giving it to the kids there, but Mrs. Kim notes that that will lead to dentist appointments. Lorelai says that the kids can just play with it instead. The girls spot Dave, who’s dressed up and playing the guitar while the Kims’ extended family sings. Lane greets the girls and tells them that Dave isn’t Dave - he’s a local Christian guitar player whose ad she found on a church bulletin board. She pointed the ad out to Mrs. Kim and suggested that they hire him to play. Lane says that they’re not quite dating, but they’re “laying a groundwork.” This way, Mrs. Kim can meet Dave before they start dating, and if she approves, things will go more smoothly. Lorelai greets all of the Kim cousins and Mrs. Kim tries to get her to try the tofurkey. The girls meet Dave and Lorelai talks him up to Mrs. Kim. Dave starts playing “The Man Who Sold the World,” then plays a hymn instead. After the first meal, the girls complain about the tofurkey; Lorelai was unable to hide it because Mrs. Kim kept watching her. The girls head to Sookie’s, where a bunch of people are gathered on the lawn in anticipation of deep-frying the turkey in a vat of oil. Sookie is upset, since she got an organically grown turkey and couldn’t talk Jackson out of deep-frying it. The crowd calls Jackson out to start with the frying. He basks in the moment and Lorelai notes, “It’s like Thunderdome in here.” Sookie accuses him of “shamelessly catering to his demographic.” She can’t stand to watch the turkey-frying. Lorelai gives her a beer and Sookie tells her to keep them coming.

Rory and Lorelai head to Luke’s, where Babette and Morey are already dining. Lorelai and Luke engage in their annual tradition of discussing what Luke should do with the flowers the girls have brought him. Lorelai tells him to buy a vase, but Luke points out that he only ever gets flowers on Thanksgiving. Lorelai predicts that Luke is going to tell her to stop bringing him flowers, since they have the exact same conversation every year. The girls notice that Kirk’s scratches are multiplying. Babette says she’s mad at the cat, which is a big thing for her, since she loves cats. Kirk at least got a peek at the cat and knows it’s a boy. Unfortunately, CatKirk tries to garrote HumanKirk with a ball of yarn. Kirk thinks that the cat knows things before they happen, that he’s above opposable thumbs, and that he gets power from water. Jess joins the girls and he and Rory share a very chaste kiss. Lorelai thinks it’s sweet that Luke waited to eat (and made Jess wait) until the girls arrived. Before the four eat, Luke suggests giving thanks. Jess asks what for and Luke replies, “that we’re not Native Americans who got their land stolen in exchange for smallpox-infested blankets.” He tells the girls that they can skip the food at this dinner, since they still have one left to attend. Lorelai tells him this one is the main event, especially since they like his yams. After Luke and Jess walk away, Lorelai critiques Rory and Jess’ kiss. Rory says that she feels like people are watching her and doesn’t know how to handle the “second boyfriend” thing. Lorelai tells her that things will get easier. As Babette and Morey leave, Babette tells Rory that the kiss wasn’t very good.

The girls arrive at Richard and Emily’s for the fourth meal, trying to become confident that things will be okay. Lorelai says that they’ll be out of there in exactly two hours. Inside, the girls realize that Emily has hired a pianist for the evening; Lorelai tries to get him to play “Freebird.” The girls meet the other guests, two of whom are French (the husband speaks English, the wife doesn’t). Lorelai reveals that the only French she knows is from “Lady Marmalade.” After some unimportant conversation, Lorelai tells Richard that this meal is their main event of the evening. At dinner, Richard ceremoniously carves the turkey, which is then taken back to the kitchen until later. The conversation turns to Rory’s college plans and Rory admits that she’s applied to Yale. Richard claims that he didn’t know that, but Lorelai doesn’t believe him. They start arguing, but Rory says that she needed a backup and could live at home if she went to Yale. Emily accuses Lorelai of being paranoid that there’s a conspiracy going on, but Lorelai points out that she’s justified to feel that way. Emily follows Lorelai outside, but Lorelai doesn’t want to talk. Emily is upset that Lorelai won’t let Rory have one piece of her and Richard’s lives, even if it’s her choice. Lorelai doesn’t respond so Emily goes back inside.

After dinner at the Kims’, Mrs. Kim pays Dave and gives him some leftovers. He leaves and Lane realizes that he forgot his Bible, so she runs out to give it to him. She apologizes for the way Mrs. Kim treated him (she made him play without breaks), but he’s happy to have “Kurt Cobain calluses.” He’s also happy about Lane’s fake flier for him, since it’s gotten him some other gigs. She wonders if he still wants to date her; he responds by kissing her. On the way home, Rory and Lorelai (who promises she’s not mad) pass Sookie’s, where the crowd is deep-frying anything and everything. Sookie is drunk and has come to accept the other guests’ activities. Rory gets a page from Lane that says, “Bible kiss Bible,” which she thinks would be a good name for a band. Lorelai tells Sookie to go to bed soon; she will if they haven’t deep-fried it. The girls head back to Luke’s for coffee and Rory kisses Jess with a little more passion this time. After she goes inside, Dean passes by and challenges Jess to make a quip like he usually does. Jess doesn’t want to fight because he knows that Rory would think it was his fault. Dean taunts that Rory has a hold on him now. He says that before, he wanted to keep things peaceful, but now he doesn’t have to. Stars Hollow is his town and he’s not going to hide from Jess. Inside, the girls decide that they’ve been more stuffed than they are now; they didn’t even eat at Richard and Emily’s, so they only had three meals. Rory realizes that that means they didn’t have to skip the rolls. Luke gives them some for the road. On the way home, Rory and Lorelai call good night to Kirk, who’s sleeping in the gazebo.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Louise: “I‘m having dinner with my dad.”
Madeline: “Isn’t he still in jail?”
Louise: “Yes, but his company donated some treadmills for the inmates, so he swung a special trailer for dinner that they’re gonna set up for us in the parking lot. We have it for about two hours and then one of the Manson girls gets it.”
Madeline: “You’re lucky it’s in that order.”

Rory: “How do you feel?”
Lorelai: “I ate tofurkey. How do you think I feel?”
Rory: “Tofurkier.”

Rory: “What is the oil for?”
Lorelai: “For pouring on Visigoths.”
Sookie: “Lorelai!”
Lorelai: “When else am I gonna get to use my Visigoth material?”

“I’ve already gone through the five stages of grieving. Denial, anger…I don’t remember these two, but they were served on the rocks with salt!” - drunk Sookie

Drunk Sookie: “Am I crying or laughing?”
Lorelai: “Laughing.”
Drunk Sookie: “Good.”

Jess: “You make me run around town for a place to dump this.”
Luke: “Just dump it in one of Taylor’s bins. It gets it out of here and it’ll drive Taylor crazy. It’s a win-win.”

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