"An Echolls Family Christmas"
Veronica, Keith, and Backup are at home, watching The Year without a Santa Claus while Keith and Veronica decorate a small Christmas tree. They talk about Christmas presents and Keith tells Veronica that he doesn’t want her to spend a lot of money on him. As the movie reaches the “Heat Miser” song, Duncan, who’s playing poker with Logan, Weevil, Sean (Kevin Sheridan), and Connor in Logan’s pool house, sings the same song. He’s apparently been drinking and is upset when Logan takes his bottle away. Sean and Connor, who’s an actor, bicker with each other. Logan thinks he’s won a hand, but when he flips the river, he finds out that he’s lost to Weevil. When Logan tells Sean to get the cash out of the money box so Weevil can get his prize, the guys discover that it’s missing. Weevil makes the guys strip to their boxers (Logan and Duncan both have on reindeer shorts) to see if they’re hiding the money. He steals a Faberge egg and tells the guys that he’ll be getting a grand out of each of them to make up for the loss. After he leaves, Sean laments, “This is the worst game of strip poker ever.” At school, Veronica shares with Wallace her desire to send her father to baseball camp for his Christmas present. Unfortunately, it costs $3,000 and she doesn’t have the money. Duncan confronts Weevil, accusing him of stealing his laptop and promising that he didn’t take Weevil’s money. Veronica overhears and Duncan admits that he kept his journal on the computer, and she’s mentioned in it. Veronica vows to get the laptop back, if only to save her own skin.
Veronica goes to see Weevil, who teases that she always tilts her head a certain way when she wants something. She advises him to give back Duncan’s computer and let her handle the poker situation. He declines her help but lets her know that when he gets his money, the guys won’t have to worry about their stuff disappearing. Veronica asks why Weevil was at the game and he explains that when he heard about the high stakes, he wanted in and asked Logan. In a flashback to the game, we see the guys complaining that Sean keeps winning and mentioning that Connor keeps using the bathroom. Sean brags about being rich and having a chauffeur. The guys spot Lynn outside by the pool and, in the present, Weevil suggests that Logan might have hidden the money while the others were distracted by his mother. He also thinks that the money is still in the house. Lynn heads to Mars Investigations and tells Keith that Aaron has been receiving strange letters from a fan implying that he’s been cheating on Lynn. Keith agrees to find out what’s going on and makes arrangements to stop by the Echolls’ house later. At school, Veronica tells Duncan that she thinks she can get his computer back. He tells her that he was surprised about Weevil’s presence at the game, then flashes back to his arrival, when Logan promises that there’s no way he’ll let Weevil win. Logan also makes a point out of showing everyone the collective wad of money and putting it in the money box. In the present, Veronica wonders if Logan invited Weevil there to steal the money. At lunch, the 09ers wonder why Weevil stole a Faberge egg. Duncan asks Logan if he took the money; Logan says that Duncan was so drunk, he didn’t know what was going on. Duncan decides to break off their friendship.
At the Echolls’, Lynn has a maid decorate a Christmas tree as she talks to Keith about Aaron’s letters. She’s upset to have to deal with Aaron’s possible stalker, since she’s throwing a big party the next night. Keith advises her to cancel the party, but she’d rather just make sure she has plenty of security on the premises. Aaron arrives and ushers Keith out, telling him that there’s nothing to worry about. He’s shocked to step outside and find a pumpkin with his face carved in it and a knife stuck in the forehead. At Mars Investigations, Keith works on the case, trying to find a pumpkin carver. He asks Veronica to take some papers over to the Echolls’ house for Lynn to sign. Once there, she encounters Logan and asks him about the poker game. He starts to try to get her to leave, then tells her that she should talk to Connor. She wonders why he would steal the money, since he’s a rich actor. Logan implies that he has a drug problem, then adds that Connor has something against Logan. In another flashback to the game, Connor blasts Logan for making semi-racist comments towards Weevil, wondering if he’s doing so because when he was ten and met Rosie Perez, she thought he was a girl. Veronica is happy to get the chance to talk to Connor, so Logan calls to get her let onto the set, calling her “Veronica - ‘V’ as in ‘virgin.’” On the set, Veronica learns, thanks to a flashback, that Logan paid a pizza delivery guy and could have given him the group’s money. She also learns that Connor likes tea.
Keith tags along to Aaron’s tennis game, asking if he was with someone on Halloween who might want revenge on him for some reason. Aaron claims that he was with Lynn at the Casablancas’ Halloween party and hasn’t cheated on her. Veronica heads to Sean’s house, where his father tells her that Sean can’t “receive visitors at home.” Keith meets with Mrs. Casablancas’ caterer, mentioning that someone was fired the night of the Halloween party. The caterer explains that a server went upstairs when she wasn’t supposed to and Aaron asked that she be fired. She adds that the server caught Aaron with another woman. At school, Sean complains to Veronica that his Rolex is missing. She tells him that Weevil is only playing defense, since he had something taken from him first. Sean thinks that Weevil stole his own money before he knew he would win, since he came so close to losing. Aaron meets with Keith at Mars Investigations, where he promises that his fling with the server was nothing and he loves Lynn. Keith assures him that he doesn’t care, since his job is just to find the stalker. He gives Aaron a list of the guests at the Halloween party and asks him to circle the names of women he slept with. Aaron circles three names and when Keith clarifies that he wants the names of the women he slept with at the party, Aaron has to admit that that’s what he was doing. One of them is his agent’s wife, Monica, and that she and the other two are invited to the Echolls’ Christmas party.
Keith pays Monica a visit and she tells him that Aaron is “psycho bait.” At school, Veronica tries to convince herself that Santa will take pity on her and not let Duncan’s diary get out into the public. She tells Wallace that she’s figured out how to get the money to send her father to baseball camp. Veronica tells Weevil and the 09ers that she’s solved the mystery, and she wants Logan to have another poker game that name. He reminds her that his parents’ Christmas party is that night, but she doesn’t care. She announces that she’ll reveal the thief and get bought into the game, where she’ll take the place of said thief. That night, Jake and Celeste head to the Echolls’ Christmas party as the poker players gather in the pool house. “Ho, ho…ho,” Logan snarks as Veronica arrives. Veronica takes Duncan’s bottle and reveals that it contains iced tea, not booze. “How very musical theater of you,” she says. She announces that she figured it out because Duncan was sober enough to calculate the tip for the pizza guy. She thinks that he pretended to be drunk to try to fool the others and win, but it obviously didn’t work. Veronica also reveals that Connor’s not a drug addict - he just drinks too much tea. She adds that Logan didn’t steal the money because he tore through the room looking for the money, and the pool house was trashed when she paid him a visit. Finally, she announces that Sean took the money - he hid it in a wide-mouthed bottle, then snuck back the next day and grabbed it from the recycling bin.
Veronica goes on to explain that Sean isn’t really rich, which she figured out when she found his father at home in a suit when he should’ve been at work. It turns out he was at work - he’s a butler. Weevil takes Sean for a little walk and Veronica gets dealt into the game, where, of course, she proves that she has some skills. At Mars Investigations, Keith looks over some photos from the Halloween party and notices carved pumpkins in the background. He calls the catering service and learns that the girl fired at the Halloween party was a carver. Unfortunately for Aaron, she’s at the party. In the pool house, Veronica gets on a winning streak, which is interrupted when Logan suggests that the group take a break and head to the party for some food. At the main house, Veronica and Weevil mention that they both stand out in the crowd, though Weevil thinks that Veronica is a natural there. Logan and Duncan make up in a manly fashion. As Keith tries to get past security to get into the party, Veronica corners Jake and mentions the photos that Wiedman took of her (see “Drinking the Kool-Aid”). He claims not to know what she’s talking about, but she doesn’t believe him. Keith finally makes it inside and spots Veronica and Jake talking. Jake confronts Celeste, accusing her of being behind the photos, and they leave. The server ambushes Aaron and stabs him with a knife as carolers outside start singing in a fake snowfall. “No, Veronica, there is no Santa Claus,” Veronica voices over as Aaron loses consciousness and the oblivious party guests applaud the carolers.
WELCOME TO NEPTUNE: Sean
MEMORABLE QUOTES: “The downside to being an only child? You know all the scary handmade ornaments are yours. Ooh, this concerns me.” - Veronica
“If you’re asking me to the prom again, the answer is still no.” - Logan to Weevil
Logan: “Look, my only concern is property values going down if anyone sees you in my house without a leaf blower or a skimmer.”
Veronica: “Look at you, all helpful.”
Weevil: “It’s Christmas, even for delivery guys.”
Logan: “Do you even know how to play poker?”
“Seriously, don’t I just blend right in? Come on. Where’s Weevil?” - Weevil
Written by Diane Ruggiero; directed by Nick Marck
Weevil: “You’re concerned? I’m the one who’s gotta go up into the hills, all by myself. What if I run into a pack of you white boys, huh, on some clean, well-lit street? I could be bored to death.”
Logan: “Hey, your peskiness being unleashed on Connor brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blond one. Annoy like the wind!”
Logan: “Pa rum pum pum.”
Veronica: “No. But it must be really hard if all you guys play.”