"Chicken or Beef?"
Written by Jane Espenson; directed by Chris Long

Rory arrives at home and is met by a blaring security alarm. Lorelai pulls her aside so that the motion sensors will calm down. She makes a big deal about Rory’s haircut and finally says that she likes it. The alarm finally shuts off and Lorelai explains that Kirk, who recently started working for the Stars Hollow Security Company, wanted to install it because Lorelai lives alone now. Rory is surprised that the town even has a security company, since nothing ever happens there. Lorelai tells her that a lot is going on - for instance, the new mail carrier is so bad that they have to get their mail at Miss Patty’s because that’s where the carrier takes it. Rory goes to get her laundry but sets off the alarm again, so Lorelai sends her back to the corner. Later, Lorelai uses Post-It notes to make a trail through the house of places it’s safe to walk without setting off the alarm. “So I should follow the yellow stick road?” Rory asks. The girls agree to meet for lunch, but when Rory tries to leave the house, she discovers that the Post-It paths are messed up and she doesn’t know which way to go. At the town gazebo, Rory tries to read but gets kicked out so that people can set up for Dean and Lindsay’s wedding. She heads to Lane’s and chastises her for not letting her know that the wedding was taking place while she was home. Lane releases Brian and Zach from an armoire, where she made them hide in case her mother was coming home. The band is looking for a new guitarist, since Dave has joined the cast of The O.C.…er, gone to California for college. (Zach is very upset about this.)

Outside, Rory runs into Dean and they make awkward small talk. He invites her and Lorelai to the wedding and leaves before Rory can say yes or no. Kirk tries to fix the Gilmores’ alarm system but admits that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Sookie comes over, telling Lorelai that her phone doesn’t work, and Kirk rushes off to fix it. Sookie says that Michel called and is upset that he called Lorelai and never heard back from her. Lorelai points out that she was in Europe when he called. She notes that Michel has to know that they intend to have him work with them at the Dragonfly Inn, even though they know how annoying he can be. They head to the hotel where Michel is working now and tell him that they’re breaking ground on the new inn soon. Michel denies that he made a call in which he was upset, but the girls know that he just wants to make sure he can still work with them. Michel tells them that he’ll think about it and get back to them. At Luke’s, Rory tells Lorelai that Dean invited them to the wedding; she thinks he only did so because he wanted to be nice. She decides that fate is making them go to the wedding, but Luke speaks up that fate doesn’t exist. Rory doesn’t want Dean to feel like she doesn’t care about him, so Lorelai says they’ll go. Miss Patty shows up with Lorelai’s mail, which includes a cease and desist order from Taylor. He wants her to halt all work on the Dragonfly until her plans have been approved by the town’s preservation society. Lorelai vows to talk to him calmly.

The girls head to Taylor’s soda shop and get some ice cream while Lorelai brings up the cease and desist order. Taylor explains that the Dragonfly is a historical building, but Lorelai points out that everything in Stars Hollow is historical. Rory is too busy enjoying her ice cream to participate in the conversation. Taylor tells Lorelai that she needs to make a formal presentation, which she says she’ll do at that night’s town meeting. That night, Lorelai, Sookie, and Michel try to wait patiently for their turn at the town meeting. Some of the townspeople take the opportunity to pass out mail. Things get a little chaotic so Taylor adjourns the meeting. Lorelai talks him into letting them make their presentation, but Taylor nitpicks it so much that things don’t go very well. The presentation ends when Lorelai gets a call from home; Kirk is calling to tell Lorelai that he “apprehended” a prowler at the house. It turns out to be Lane, who’s there with her band. Sookie and Michel join Lorelai outside and tell her that Taylor ended the meeting, then left. Lorelai tracks him down and he tells her that he and the rest of the historical society have to do a walk-through before Lorelai and the others can do anything. Lorelai begs to do the walk-through the next day, even though it’s Sunday, since she has workmen coming on Monday. Taylor tells her it will have to be at 6 in the morning. Dean’s bachelor party winds up at the diner, where Luke takes a drunk Dean upstairs while he talks about Rory. “She’s the one, you know?” he says. “I miss her. Why didn’t she love me?”

The preservation society members do their walk-through while Lorelai and Sookie list all of the things they’d rather be doing. Lorelai begs Miss Patty to use her pull with Taylor to give them the okay, but Miss Patty wants to save her pull for the work she needs to do on her studio. Lorelai and Taylor disagree over the front porch and Lorelai finally snaps, asking why she has to jump through so many hoops. Taylor tells her that he wants an ice cream truck but the only place to park it is in front of the diner. Since Lorelai has pull with Luke, he wants her to talk to him. If she can get what Taylor wants, he’ll okay her plans for the inn. Lorelai runs to the diner and pleads with Luke to let Taylor park the truck outside. He easily says that it’s okay. Lorelai wonders why Luke said no before; Luke tells her that Taylor never asked him. Lorelai says that she’s learned a valuable lesson about business - it’s about making deals, not working hard. Luke heads upstairs, where Dean spent the night and is hungover. Luke doesn’t get the chance to talk to him about what he said the previous night. He runs into Rory outside and tells her not to go to the wedding. Kirk meets up with Lorelai and tells her that he’s disconnected the alarm but her roof will have to be repaired. Rory tells Lorelai that they’re not going to the wedding because Luke said they shouldn’t. Lorelai and Sookie get ready to pose with sledgehammers over the inn’s porch while Michel takes a picture. The girls tell Michel to set a timer so he can be in the picture as well. Lorelai is touched by the idea of the inn having a past and will have a future, and now they’re a part of its life. Downtown, Rory watches Dean and Lindsay leave the church after their wedding.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “Does our life seem at all ridiculous to you?” - Rory to Lorelai

Lane: “I thought Rory was my mom.”
Zach: “The resemblance is uncanny.”

“He was so hysterical that his voice got into that high-pitched squeal he does, and all I could make out was ‘fire’ and ‘abandon me’ and something about not receiving a thank you card for the Statue of Liberty.” - Sookie, re: Michel

Sookie: “It’s okay, I told her about the call.”
Michel: “What call?”
Sookie: “The call you made to me yesterday, the one where you told me that you called Lorelai and she didn’t call back.”
Michel: “I make so many calls.”
Sookie: “The one where you cried.”
Michel: “Are you sure it wasn’t another Michel?”
Sookie: “You called me! You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and by the time I got back, they were all gay.”

Taylor: “I won’t spoil the plot of The Happiest Donut for you, folks, except to say it’s funny and a little sad and truly inspiring. But a caveat for all you parents - the dunking scene may be too intense for preschool-aged children.”
Gypsy: “How can a stupid donut be happy?”
Rory: “But, see, he’s got you curious. That’s the genius of Donny Pass.”


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