"Diversity Day"
Written by B.J. Novak; directed by Ken Kwapis

It’s Diversity Day, and corporate has sent a man named Mr. Brown to speak to Michael and his employees about diversity. Michael claims that he’s been wanting this for a while and is excited about the events of the day. While Jim talks to a client on the phone, Dwight blacks out words on a document, then shreds it. Jim dismantles the shredder so he’ll have to stop, so Dwight retaliates by turning off Jim’s phone. Jim interviews that this is his biggest sale of the year; every year he makes one call to this company and it ends up being 25 percent of his commission for the year. He always buys himself a little bottle of champagne to celebrate. This year, he’s pushing for the company to buy recycled paper, which will increase his commission by 1 percent. Jim visits Pam at her desk, where she’s playing Freecell solitaire, and they share a cute moment.

Michael makes sure that Mr. Brown sees him interacting with Oscar before the Diversity Day activities begin. Jim is about to talk to his big client again, but he has to put it off to join the other employees in the conference room. Mr. Brown tells the group that most problems in the workplace are caused by ignorance, which is why his company, Diversity Today, encourages “honesty and positive expectations.” Michael says that the office is colorblind, but Mr. Brown tells him they should actually celebrate differences. Michael takes over, telling all of the employees to name the races they’re sexually attracted to. Dwight has two, white and Indian, an idea that stuns Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling). Mr. Brown regains control by asking Michael’s permission to run the session. Mr. Brown has had the employees write down incidents in the workplace that offended them, and now they’re going to act one out. Dwight would like to not talk about gay people.

Mr. Brown notes that a lot of people mentioned the same incident, which has something to do with a Chris Rock comedy routine. Michael interviews that it doesn’t seem fair that Chris can do a routine that people find funny, but if Michael does it, it’s not as funny. Kevin is chosen to play Michael’s role in the skit (Michael doesn’t really appreciate his entertainment abilities), but Michael corrects his reenactment. Of course, he goes too far and Mr. Brown has to shut him up. Jim’s phone rings and he’s disappointed that he can’t go answer it. Mr. Brown tells the employees about the acronym HERO (honesty, empathy, respect, and open-mindedness), but Dwight protests that there’s more to being a hero than just those four things. Jim is amused that he mistakes heroes for superheroes. Later, Mr. Brown asks the employees to sign a group pledge, but Michael announces that he can’t because he hasn’t learned anything.

Mr. Brown takes Michael to his office, where he tells him that they’re having Diversity Day because of Michael’s inappropriate comments. He adds that Michael’s signature is the only one he needs, as per corporate, and he only had the others sign because he didn’t want to embarrass Michael. Michael signs the pledge, but then boasts to the camera that it’s signed “Daffy Duck.” Jim calls his client again and is frustrated to learn that he’s at lunch. Michael tells the employees that after lunch, they’ll have an emotional experience together that will be more meaningful than Mr. Brown’s activities. Later, as the employees head to Diversity Day, take two, Toby (Paul Lieberstein) cracks a joke and Michael kicks him out. He shows the other employees a video he made; it doesn’t run very long, since Michael didn’t have much time to work on it. The camera work also isn’t great, thanks to Dwight.

The meeting is about to break up, so Michael tries a different tack, telling people about his ethnic background. (He claims to be 2/15ths Native American.) Oscar tells everyone that his parents are from Mexico and moved to the U.S. the year before he was born. Michael asks him if there’s a term other than Mexican that he would prefer. Oscar encourages him to share what connotations the term “Mexican” has, but Michael backs down. Jim’s phone rings and he heads out to answer it, but no one’s on the other end. The employees get cards with different races on them and have to attach them to their foreheads, then guess what races they are based on comments made by their coworkers. (Pam is Jewish, Angela is Jamaican, Kevin is Italian, Stanley is black, and Michael is Martin Luther King, Jr.) Pam and Stanley are put together and Stanley says that he admires Pam’s culture’s success in America. Stanley quickly learns that his card says “black” and Michael tells him that was inadvertent.

Dwight, who’s Asian, has trouble understanding Meredith’s (Kate Flannery) hint that his culture likes rice. Pam tells him she likes his culture’s food, but he thinks she’s talking about Outback Steakhouse, which makes him Australian. While the employees engage in more role-playing, Jim finds Ryan watching Chapelle’s Show on Pam’s computer. Ryan notes that “she” is cute and Jim thinks he’s talking about Pam. Kelly returns to the Diversity Day activities and Michael treats her as a stereotypical Indian, which makes her slap him. “Now she knows what it’s like to be a minority,” Michael comments. Jim calls his client back, but before he can close their deal, he learns that Dwight has beaten him to it. He puts his celebratory champagne bottle on Dwight’s desk. Back in the conference room, Pam falls asleep on Jim’s shoulder as Stanley tries to educate Michael about African-American cuisine. Everyone heads home and Jim enjoys Pam’s nap as long as possible before having to wake her up. “Not a bad day,” he interviews with a grin.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Dwight: “Retaliation. Dit for tit.”
Jim: “That is not the expression.”
Dwight: “Well, it should be.”

“Abraham Lincoln once said that, ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the north.” - Michael

“I am Michael and I am part English, Irish, uh, German, and Scottish. Sort of a virtual United Nations.” - Michael

Pam: “If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.”
Dwight: “Oh, man! Am I a woman?”

“You’ll notice I didn’t have anybody be an Arab. I thought that would be too explosive. No pun intended. But I just thought, ‘Too soon for Arabs.’ Maybe next year. Um…you know, the ball’s in their court.” - Michael

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