Written by Drew Z. Greenberg; directed by James A. Contner

Two vampires run through a cemetery, being pursued by the ATV-riding Trio. One of the vampires is carrying a small disk, which the Trio is after. The vampires encounter Buffy and the disk is dropped. As Spike grabs a vampire and holds him so that Buffy can fight him, Warren is able to grab the disk. Spike offers to kill the vampire he’s holding, beginning to give Buffy an ultimatum. Buffy says she’s not telling her friends about them and Spike lets the vampire go. Buffy tells him that, even if she were to tell her friends about them, they wouldn’t care - she tried to kill them (see “Normal Again”) and they’re already over it. He asks why she won’t sleep with him again and she replies that she doesn’t love him, which he doesn’t believe. Xander listens to sad music in his apartment; Anya secretly watches as he leaves.

Willow meets up with Tara at UC Sunnydale and tells her that Buffy is doing better. The two make a date to have coffee the next day. Buffy and Dawn walk around downtown, trying to find an interesting store to shop in, which is difficult because Dawn has shoplifted from all of them. At Nerd Headquarters Version 2.0, Jonathan mixes something together and takes digs at Warren. Jonathan is eager to get their big plan out of the way so that they can stop committing crimes. Out of Jonathan’s earshot (heh, see what I did there?), Warren tells Andrew that feeling sorry for Jonathan is a weakness. Andrew worries that Jonathan can’t be trusted, and Warren assures him that they won’t have to trust him much longer.

Xander returns to his apartment to find Anya waiting for him. He apologizes for the failed wedding (see “Hell’s Bells”) and she asks if he still wants to get married. He tells her that he still loves her but doesn’t want things to move too quickly. He says that he wishes things could go back to the way they were. Unseen by him, she morphs into demon face and says, “And I wish you were never born!” However, Anya’s vengeance wish doesn’t work, no matter what she wishes would happen to him, and she leaves, frustrated. She meets up with Halfrek, who tells her she can’t get vengeance on her own behalf - someone else has to make the wish for her. At the Summers’ house, Buffy overcompensates for her behavior by making breakfast for Dawn and trying to plan activities for that evening. Dawn suggests that Buffy take her patrolling, an idea which Buffy vetoes.

Willow and Tara meet for coffee and Willow describes the events of “Doublemeat Palace.” Tara tells her she misses living at the Summers’ house. Anya arrives and they give her a warm welcome. Anya encourages them to bash Xander. At the Magic Box, she talks with Dawn, trying to convince her that Xander is the bad guy. At the Summers’ house, Anya encourages Buffy to take her side. At the magic shop, Dawn refuses to make a wish and Anya tries to trick her into doing it. She also tries to get Buffy to brainstorm torture that Xander should endure. Anya grows frustrated that no one will wish any harm to Xander and gives up. Xander arrives at the Summers’ house and, after Anya leaves, wonders what he can do to make her feel better. Frustrated, he kicks a garden gnome in the yard, which Buffy had never noticed before. They realize that there’s a camera inside it and Xander immediately thinks that Spike put it there.

Buffy takes the camera to Spike, who denies putting it in the yard. He tells her that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her and she tells him to move on. At the Magic Shop, Anya complains to Halfrek that everyone is taking Xander’s side. Halfrek tells her that she needs to get someone who hates Xander to make the wish. Cue Spike, who walks in looking for a spell that will keep him from caring. Halfrek splits and Anya brings out a bottle of whiskey. At home, Buffy, Willow, and Xander examine the camera and Willow tries to trace its signal. Xander says that, if Spike didn’t put the camera in the yard, the Trio must have. Jonathan does a spell at Nerd Headquarters Version 2.0 to figure out where the Trio is supposed to go. They are distracted when the map he’s using bursts into flame.

Anya and Spike drink and complain about their respective failed relationships (though Anya doesn’t realize that Spike is complaining about Buffy). Spike agrees that Anya is the wronged party in her situation and that Xander should pay for what he did to her. The Trio doesn’t realize that Willow has traced the camera’s signal back to their headquarters. Anya and Spike bond over their common trait - they’re evil beings who have been trapped (see “The Wish” and “The Initiative”). Willow discovers that the camera in the gnome is not the only camera. Spike compliments Anya on her ability to speak her mind. Willow finds cameras in the Doublemeat Palace, the Bronze, UC Sunnydale, and Xander’s construction site; she tries to see if there are any more feeds. Anya admits to Spike that she sometimes thinks the failure of the wedding is partially her fault. He tries to comfort her, telling her that Xander would be a fool not to want her. They start to kiss and Anya almost stops; he tells her that they’re moving on and they start kissing passionately.

The Trio finally realizes that there feed has been tapped. Anya and Spike get friendly while the Trio runs to see what’s going on. Willow taps into a camera at the Magic Box and is shocked to see Anya and Spike having sex. Warren yells for Jonathan and Andrew to shut everything down, and they all stop when they see what’s happening at the Magic Box. Xander and Buffy spy the goings on as Dawn walks in, Willow covers Dawn’s eyes. Dawn realizes from Buffy’s reaction that her sister has been sleeping with Spike. Buffy says, “That’s enough” and she and Xander both walk out of the room. Willow shuts off the feed and goes to find Xander, who has taken something from Buffy’s weapons chest and split. He determinedly walks down the street with an axe. Buffy confirms to Dawn that she and Spike had a relationship but that it’s over. Willow tells them that Xander is gone and has taken Buffy’s axe. At the Magic Box, Anya and Spike have finished up and are getting dressed. As Spike leaves, he just barely misses getting hit in the head with an axe.

Xander resorts to hand-to-hand combat, but Spike can’t fight back. Xander takes advantage of this and beats Spike up. Anya runs out and tells him to stop just as Buffy arrives. Xander informs Anya that they saw what happened. He blasts her for trying to hurt him after he hurt her; she calls him a “scared, insecure little boy.” He says he feels sick that she slept with Spike. “It’s good enough for Buffy,” Spike speaks up. Xander and Anya realize that Buffy and Spike had a relationship, and Xander walks off, not wanting to have to deal with anything else. Buffy takes off as well and Spike blames Xander for screwing things up. He starts to express a wish and Anya stops him. At the Summers’ house, Tara shows up in Willow’s room and says that they have a lot to work through, but she would rather just skip over all of it. “Can you just be kissing me now?” she asks Willow. Willow happily obliges.


GRADE: B Anya and Spike’s sexcapades was a great twist, and Willow and Tara’s reunion makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

MEMORABLE QUOTES - Spike: (sitting on a pillar and holding a vampire by the back of his shirt while Buffy fights another vamp) “How you doin'?”
Buffy: “Oh, fine. You know, same old same old.”
Spike: “Here, I could take care of this guy if you want.”
Buffy: “Whatever. Your call.”
Spike: “I mean, sure he don't look like much….”
Vampire: “Hey!”
Spike: “...but I'd wager he could give you a bit o' nasty. Save you the staking. All you gotta do is--.”
Buffy: “I am not telling my friends about us.”
Spike: “Right, I'll just be dropping him down to you, then.”

Buffy: “Hey, how about the pet store? You didn't take anything from there, did you?”
Dawn: “A pocketful of goldfish. It didn't work out.”

“Uh…did we open a chain? Are we the International House of something?” - Dawn, upon seeing pancakes and more than one kind of syrup in the kitchen

Dawn: “Why don't I come patrolling with you tonight?”
Buffy: “Oh. And then? Maybe we can invite over some strangers and ask them to feed you candy.”
Dawn: “Well, you guys went out patrolling every night when you were my age.”
Buffy: “True...but technically, you're one and a half.” (Dawn isn’t amused) “See, I thought a little levity might…but, okay, also no.”

Buffy: “I don't think he could feel any worse.”
Anya: “Let's test that theory.”

“What kind of lesbians are you?! If you love men so much, go love men!” - Anya to Willow and Tara

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