"Eight O’clock at the Oasis"
Written by Justin Tanner; directed by Joe Ann Fogle

Lorelai and Rory walk downtown and Lorelai tries to tell Rory a joke, but she’s not impressed with the punchline. They head to Luke’s, which is full, and wind up sitting at the counter, where Luke complains that the diner has “been taken over by the J. Crew catalog.” He explains that the same group comes in every week and take up all of the tables and coo over their kids. In fact, Luke knows the groups so well that he knows which toy won’t calm a certain kid. Luke decides that he needs to kick everyone out, since they’re not spending much money there. He’s shocked to see a woman start breastfeeding her baby in the middle of the diner. He starts to go tell her to stop, then tells Lorelai to do it, since he thinks the woman would react better to a woman. Jess walks downstairs, spots the woman, and immediately heads back upstairs. Luke decides that it was worth it. At the inn, Michel informs Lorelai that a couple of their guests think that their pillows are toxic. He insults the guests and says that they threw pillows at him. Emily calls and asks Lorelai if she wants to come to a charity antiques auction with her the next week. Lorelai says she’ll think about it and Emily automatically assumes she’ll be there. Michel hears about the auction and offers Lorelai some tips, then begs her to let him attend. He promises to do anything necessary, so Lorelai tells him he has to work weekends for the rest of the month, answer the phone (in English), and oversee the nature hikers coming the next week. This means arriving at 6 a.m., handing out supplies, and letting the group give him a nature name. He accepts, but won’t let Lorelai give suggestions, like Buttercup.

Lorelai and Rory arrive at home after getting takeout. Rory can’t believe that Lorelai got into a fight with Pete, the pizza guy; Lorelai notes that he wanted to charge them extra for garlic. She thinks that he was taking advantage of them until Rory notes that he gave them free cheesy bread. Rory heads inside as Lorelai starts talking with Dwight, their new neighbor. He’s just bought his dream house and loves the neighborhood. Lorelai welcomes him and offers to help him out if he needs anything. Dwight takes her seriously and asks her to water his lawn while he’s on a business trip. He asks her to come over so he can show her where the nozzle is. She follows him home and discovers that he’s named his house the Oasis. He complains about his ex-wife and says that knowing he’d have his dream house someday got him through his horrible marriage. After being shown the nozzle, Lorelai goes back home and warns Rory, “No more talking to people, ever!” Michel and Lorelai attend the auction, where Lorelai isn’t impressed by any of the items, except a table that was just sold. Emily meets up with the two of them, and the three of them are then joined by a woman named Natalie, who calls Emily a cobra. (Apparently she convinced the auctioneer, who tried to cancel due to illness, that he was well enough to come.) Michel and Lorelai find end tables they like and she bugs him to let her use the paddle. He won’t, so she goes to get a drink.

At the bar, Lorelai meets a guy named Payton (though she doesn’t get his name) and they bid for the last glass of wine. Payton winds up splitting the glass so they both win. They flirt a little and after Payton leaves, the bartender reveals that he actually has another bottle of wine. Lorelai says that “this was better.” At home, Lorelai calls someone associated with the auction to try to find out who Payton is. His name is kept confidential, so she makes up a story about him being an old friend (she doesn’t know his real name, only his nickname, Shamu) and them buying a winning lottery ticket together. The person on the other end doesn’t seem to care, so Lorelai says that she has a medical condition and needs a blood transfusion from Payton. She still doesn’t get any help. Rory overhears part of the conversation and Lorelai fills her in; Rory says that Payton must be cute if Lorelai put in all of that effort. Rory mentions that Emily would know Payton’s name, but of course Lorelai doesn’t want to ask her. However, she says that Rory could ask her and offers to share her lottery winnings. Rory asks if Lorelai called information and asked for the owner of paddle 17. At Friday night dinner, the Gilmores discuss pork until Rory changes the subject to the auction. Richard teases Emily for buying furniture that they can’t use. Rory mentions that there was something at the auction that Lorelai wanted but couldn’t get. After Emily hears which paddle he had, she recognizes the guy as Payton Sanders and goes to check. Lorelai finally asks if Emily can get his phone number. Emily rubs this in but agrees to get the number.

Lorelai and Rory rush to get ready for their days, hoping to have time for breakfast at Luke’s, even though Lorelai has to water Dwight’s lawn. They head over to his house and find a note from him asking Lorelai to water his violets inside as well. Lorelai reluctantly goes inside with Rory and they discover that the house looks like a tiki paradise. Dwight also has more board games than the girls have ever seen. Lorelai gets a call from Payton, who’s just returned (on his jet) from Maui and wants to take Lorelai to a David Bowie concert. She gets off the phone and explains to Rory that the concert isn’t until the next week, so they’re going to have dinner the next night first. Rory notes that Payton wasn’t wasting any time, since he asked Lorelai out twice in one call. She requests that Lorelai tell Payton that the way to her heart is her daughter, who wants to go to Amsterdam. Rory thinks Dwight’s house is lucky, though Lorelai says it’s really just creepy. The next night, Rory reads in Lorelai’s room while Lorelai gets ready for her date. When she’s finally ready, she tells Rory to say that she looks fantastic no matter what, since she’s tired to picking out clothes. Lorelai worries that she’s remembering Payton looking cuter than he really is. Rory tells her to look deeper but Lorelai doesn’t think she can do that on the first date. Rory suggests that she get an extra dessert in that case. Payton arrives (the girls admire his car) and Lorelai tells Rory that if Payton isn’t cute, she should call in an hour and pretend to be sick. Payton comes to the door and Lorelai tells Rory that she’s feeling fine.

Later that night, Lorelai returns from the date at 10:15, automatically indicating to Rory that things didn’t go very well. Lorelai confides that Payton had no personality, no sense of humor, and no idea how boring he was. He talked too much about his car and was a wine snob. Rory asks if Lorelai is still going to the concert with Payton, but Lorelai doesn’t think she could handle being with him another night. At the inn, Michel tells Lorelai that the lamp they bought at the auction was dropped off at Emily’s house and Emily’s lamp was dropped off there; Emily wants Lorelai to switch them back in time for something she’s doing that night. Lorelai admires a bowl that Michel bought until she learns that it’s an 18th century bleeding bowl. Lorelai takes the lamp to Emily’s and trades with her, agreeing to stay a few minutes for coffee. Emily asks about her date (Payton’s mother told her their kids were going out), which she’s excited about. Lorelai has to break it to her that things didn’t go very well and he wasn’t really her type. Emily says that she’ll have to try harder on the next date. She wants Lorelai to go to the concert with Payton since she already agreed to. Lorelai wants her to stay out of her business. Emily thinks that Lorelai is too judgmental, but Lorelai notes that she spent an evening with a guy who only talked about himself. They don’t resolve anything and Lorelai leaves. Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai tries to convince Rory to do a cardio salsa video with her. Dwight calls and asks Lorelai to rearrange the watering pattern in order to accommodate the changing weather. She asks Rory to go water the lawn, since she has to get back to work.

Richard calls and tells Lorelai that he’s going to be playing golf with Payton’s father that weekend. He says that he’ll call Lorelai after that and they’ll figure out what to do next. He explains that he needs to evaluate the amount of damage that’s been done and find out if Lorelai can just apologize for what happened with Payton. She tells him that it’s none of his business, but Richard argues that Payton’s mother is an important figure in her and Emily’s social circles, so if she took what happened the wrong way, her relationship with Emily could be damaged. He adds that Emily is afraid of losing her position in the DAR. Lorelai points out that she’s an adult and can make her own decisions. Richard agrees with her that the situation is insane but he wants to make sure that Emily is happy. Rory heads to Dwight’s and turns on the sprinkler. Inside, Dwight’s wife leaves a message on his machine screaming at him for leaving and taking all of her board games. Outside, Rory has problems turning off the sprinkler and pages Dean. Getting no response from him, she runs downtown and winds up encountering Jess. She fills him in and he goes to Dwight’s, where he turns off the sprinkler for her. They make some small talk and Dean finally pages Rory to let her know that he’s coming over to help with the sprinkler. Jess turns the sprinkler back on so Dean will have something to do when he arrives. At Friday night dinner, Lorelai and Emily are awkward and Lorelai tries to make peace by displaying photos from Sookie and Jackson’s wedding. Rory encourages Lorelai to follow Emily into the kitchen and try to smooth things over. In the kitchen, Lorelai apologizes to Emily and tells her that, even though it will be awful, she’ll go to the concert with Payton. Emily thanks her and tells her to wear Rory’s sweater when she goes.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Rory: “Oh, look, babies!”
Lorelai: “I never want to hear that come out of your mouth again.

Lorelai: “Independence Inn.”
Emily: “You really should identify yourself when you answer the phone at work.”
Lorelai: “Sorry. Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking. Better?”
Emily: “Yes, thank you.”

Payton: “I got a few things coming up that I’m bidding on.”
Lorelai: “Oh, oh. Great, the bartender and I are the only ones in the building that don’t get to hold a paddle.”
Payton: “Why don’t you put a bid on one of the paddles?”
Lorelai: “What would I use to bid on it?”

“Come here a sec, you’ve got some dirt on your forehead. I’m sorry, it’s just the sign of the devil, my mistake.” - Lorelai to Rory

Lorelai: “You’re my favorite daughter.”
Rory: “You say that to all your daughters.”
Lorelai: “Yes, I do, but I only mean it with you.”

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