"Face-Off"
Written by John Stephens; directed by Kenny Ortega

Lorelai and Taylor are at Luke’s, discussing Taylor’s upcoming family reunion. A bunch of his relatives are coming to town and will be staying at the inn. Lorelai goes to the counter, where Rory and Jess are talking, and tells her daughter that since she left her alone, Taylor took the opportunity to make some more arrangements. She wants Rory to pretend to be sick so that Lorelai has to take her home and stay with her until the Doose family reunion is over. She encourages her to limp and Rory wonders what she could have that robs her of her ability to feed herself and also makes her limp. “It’s French,” Lorelai tells her. Taylor gives the girls buttons advertising the next night’s hockey semifinals, in which the Stars Hollow Minutemen will be playing. Apparently this is the first time the team has made the regional semifinals in 43 years (though they only got this far because the Litchfield team got food poisoning). Taylor was the goalie the last time the team came this far and was “responsible for the game-winning goal” (the puck bounced off of his head and into the goal). While Taylor is distracted by Luke, the girls run off. Luke notes that he can see the dent from the puck in Taylor’s forehead. Rory and Lorelai try to rush through Friday night dinner as Emily complains about Trix, who is going to be staying at the house for a little while. Emily isn’t happy about the arrangements and is especially upset that Trix keeps calling during Friday night dinner.

After Emily and Richard leave the room, Lorelai tells Rory not to be so obvious about eating quickly, even though she told her they needed to leave by 8:30. Emily returns to the dining room only to hear noise in the living room; she goes out to see that men are carrying in a mattress that Trix sent for herself. Lorelai and Rory try to take advantage of the chaos to escape but Emily notes that something is going on. The girls point fingers, each announcing that the other has a date. Emily tells them that they have to stick to the Friday night dinner rules, which includes a full meal and dessert. If they argue, they’ll have to stay for a game of charades. After dinner, the girls race home and Rory checks the answering machine to find out what time she’s supposed to meet Jess. Even though it’s 9:15, he hasn’t called. Lorelai heads out with Alex and Rory stays home to wait to hear from Jess. The next day, Rory tells Lorelai that she spent the evening doing everything but calling Jess. They pass Stars Hollow High, which has been toilet papered, and spot Dean cleaning things up. Rory compares Dean to Jess, which Lorelai tells her not to do, since Dean was an exceptional first boyfriend and everyone should be as lucky as Rory. She thinks that Rory should give Jess a chance to explain why he didn’t call. They head to the diner, where Jess doesn’t say anything about his non-phone call.

Luke complains about everyone’s hockey fever, noting that when his high school track team went to state three times in four years, no one made this big of a deal. After placing her order, Rory leaves and Jess asks Lorelai if the two of them are fighting. Lorelai informs him that he and Rory are fighting since he never called. He doesn’t seem to care. Rory and Lane talk at the Gilmores’, where Lane and her band are setting up for rehearsal. Lane is happy that Mrs. Kim has booked Dave, Brian, and Zach (a supposed Christian trio) to play at a prayer meeting, because this means she’ll get to know them and love Brian and Zach as much as she loves Dave. Nearby, Zach and Brian wonder what a bulwark is. Lane and Dave tell Rory that Mrs. Kim has set Lane up on a date with a guy named Young Chui; they’ll be going to the hockey game together and, after two more dates, Young Chui will dump Lane. Mrs. Kim will feel so guilty about setting Lane up with him that she’ll let her date Dave. As the guys banter about hymn words and snacks, Lane tells Rory that Young Chui is in on the plan - he’s dating a Japanese girl and just lets his parents fix him up with Korean girls while they date secretly. “He’s the male me,” Lane says. She suggests that Rory and Jess come to the game with them, but Rory doesn’t know what they’ll be doing.

Taylor’s family arrives at the inn; Michel tries to figure out who is who while one of the relatives bugs him about France and WWI. Taylor’s brother Doug criticizes him for planning a tour of Stars Hollow, since most of them grew up there. Emily arrives, wanting to arrange to have a DAR meeting at the inn sometime, and Lorelai tries to get rid of her so she can deal with the reunion. Emily tells her that Trix has kicked her out of the house because some friends are coming over that night and she wants to spend all day getting ready. She sent Emily to go get some things and won’t let her come back until 6. She needs a slide projector so Lorelai offers to bring one over later. Lane’s band sets up for the prayer meeting at the Kims’; Mrs. Kim thinks they should have a tambourine. Young Chui arrives and Mrs. Kim takes a photo of him and Lane before they head to the hockey game. Lorelai calls Rory from the inn and asks why she’s still at home. She points out that Rory has now spent a day and a night waiting for Jess to call, so she needs to go out and do something. Rory gets into the mood and agrees to go to the hockey game. Emily returns home and is shocked to see Trix kissing a man in the living room.

Miss Patty and Babette sing the National Anthem at the hockey game and Rory and Lane talk about how cold it is in the rink. Lane asks where Jess is; Rory says that she doesn’t care. Young Chui is nearby, talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone, since she doesn’t seem to be as cool with the fake dating thing as Dave is. The game starts with Kirk as color commentator, though he forgets that the game is separated into periods, not quarters. During a break in the prayer meeting, Dave splits. Lane has to talk to Young Chui’s girlfriend and assure her that she’s not interested in her boyfriend. Rory catches up with a former classmate, Lindsay Lister (Arielle Kebbel), then wonders why Lindsay wasn’t warmer to her. Lane tells her that some people think she’s a snob now that she goes to Chilton. Dave arrives and has to leave a minute later, since Lane’s house is more than a mile away. Rory thinks that he isn’t as okay with the fake dating as he lets on. Lane is very happy that she’s made a guy jealous. Jess heads to the Gilmores’, where Lorelai chastises that he would know Rory is at the hockey game if he’d bothered to call. She thinks that Jess doesn’t know how to treat Rory, then tells him that she’s not discussing their relationship anymore. Back at the game, Rory and Lane spot Lindsay kissing Dean.

Later in the game, Dean tells Kirk that some of the hockey players are going to kill him if he doesn’t shut up. Lane keeps making sure that Rory’s okay with Dean dating someone else; Rory says that he had to move on sometime. Lane blames herself for Rory finding out this way; she should have been paying more attention at school and found out ahead of time. Kirk misses a major play and asks one of the players what happened. Lorelai takes the slide projector to her parents’ house and goes in to meet Trix’s friends. While the women chat, Emily starts singing “Love in the Afternoon.” Lorelai drags her out of the room and asks her what’s going on. Emily tells her that she caught Trix kissing a man in a track suit. Lorelai isn’t sure how to deal with this information. Emily is thrilled because now, after years of being abused by Trix, she finally has something to hold over her. Lorelai tells her that she can’t use this against Trix. Emily agrees, but when she goes back into the living room, she announces that Trix was kissing someone in a track suit. The hockey game ends and Lane asks Rory if she wants to head to the prayer meeting to hear the end of the band’s set. Rory decides to go home instead and runs in Dean on her way out. She tells him that she thinks it’s great that he and Lindsay are dating.

After Dean leaves, Rory calls Jess and leaves a message telling him that she’s not going to let him treat her like this anymore. She finds him waiting for her outside with concert tickets. She asks him to erase his messages without listening to them when he gets home. At the elder Gilmores’, Emily apologizes to Trix for embarrassing her in front of her friends and son. She asks why Trix didn’t want anyone to know about her relationship; Trix said that she’s been married once and doesn’t want to remarry and dishonor her late husband’s memory. She found a man she liked and was happy not to be lonely anymore, but now Emily has ruined things. Emily apologizes and tells her that she gets lonely sometimes, too. Downstairs, Lorelai tells Richard to cut Emily a break. Richard starts laughing and wonders if the man was really wearing a track suit. “I guess I’ve got a new daddy,” he remarks. The two are surprised to hear that Emily and Trix are going to have tea together; Richard isn’t sure how he feels about the two of them “being in cahoots.” Things go back to normal, however, when Trix sends a maid to make sure the tea is prepared correctly. Lorelai heads home, where Rory just tells her that she “hung out” after the hockey game. She’s too tired to hear about Lorelai’s evening, so Lorelai just teases her with the words “jogging suit.”

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Lindsay

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lorelai: “So, how’s Gran doing?”
Rory: “Yeah, does she miss London?”
Emily: “Not half as much as I do.”
Richard: “Emily.”
Emily: “I never really truly appreciated the Atlantic Ocean before. 3,000 lovely miles of water.”

Lorelai: “She has a date!”
Rory: “So does she!”
Lorelai: “Yeah, but hers starts a half hour earlier than mine!”
Rory: “Because you get to stay out later!”

Rory: “Not a word. Not even a lame-o apology that is obviously a lie.”
Lorelai: “Yeah, how dare he not lie to you.”

Lane: “The other team’s winning.”
Rory: “But our fans have the best insults. At least, Babette does.”
Dave: “Well, that’s really what counts in the end.”

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, much like the Israelites of yore, the Stars Hollow Minutemen languished in the desert for 40 years. But tonight, there was no Promised Land, no New Canaan, only a humiliating 5 to 1 defeat at the merciless hands of the West Hartford Wildcats. So it’s back to the desert for the Minutemen, perhaps for another 40 years. Of course, by then, I’ll be 70 years old. A lot of the rest of you will probably be dead. Taylor, you’ll be dead. Babette, Miss Patty…that man there in the hat.” - Kirk


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