"Go, Bulldogs!"
Lorelai calls Emily and leaves her a message to let her know that she won’t be able to stop by the house to see her new curtains. Emily is actually on the other end of the phone, but Lorelai pretends she’s not so she doesn’t have to talk to her mother. Emily just thinks there’s something wrong with the phone. After she hangs up, Lorelai tells Christopher that she knew the plan would work; it was a choice between fight and flight, and she just did her nails, so she went for flight. Later, Lorelai listens to some French-language tapes in preparation for her, Christopher, and Gigi’s trip to Paris (see “The Great Stink”). She’s more interested in practicing the French accent, though. Christopher sees that she has a lot of mail, and she explains that it’s because she only opens it once a month. Christopher sees a notice about a parents’ weekend at Yale and wants to go, but Lorelai thinks it’s only for kids who don’t really like their parents: “My kid likes me. I can go to Yale any time I want. 51 weekends of the year is my parents’ weekend.” Christopher starts getting really excited about going to parents’ weekend, even though Lorelai tries to convince him that it’s not that great. She finally gives in and agrees to go with him.
Rory calls and Lorelai tells her that she and Christopher will be there for parents’ weekend. Rory is surprised, since she felt the same way about parents’ weekend as Lorelai did. Rory says she’ll be busy putting out the paper, but she’ll take a break to have lunch. At the diner, Kirk oversees Luke’s packing of April’s lunch. He then engages in a conversation with Lulu about a muffin. April heads off to school and Luke says he’ll pick her up after swim practice. After Lulu leaves as well, Kirk tells Luke that he feels like he’s suffocating in his relationship because she’s always with him. At the inn, Michel and Sookie bicker over which one of them will be in charge of the front desk while Lorelai is in Paris. Lorelai tries to stay out of the argument by claiming that she’s busy, but she has to give in and say that Michel will be in charge of the desk, while Sookie is in charge overall because she’s the co-owner of the inn. Sookie quickly gets into the role of harsh taskmistress. Lorelai isn’t happy that now she’s going to have to deal with Michel sulking all day, but Sookie is annoyed with him for calling himself her supervisor and trying to get her to call him “Captain.” A man named Harvey arrives, wanting to share some free produce samples from a nearby farm; Sookie tries to turn them down but ultimately accepts them.
Luke arrives at the pool to pick up April and meets her coach, Susan. Susan is disheartened to learn that Luke doesn’t swim well and suggests that he come to her adult class on Saturday mornings. April is glad to hear it. Lorelai and Christopher head to Yale, which Lorelai suspects has been touched up just for the visitors. A perky student greets them and Lorelai wonders if she really goes there or if she’s been hired to be there. Lorelai also wants to put fun names on her and Christopher’s nametags (like Antony and Cleopatra or F. Scott and Zelda). Lorelai calls Rory to let her know they’ve arrived and ask what they should do until she’s ready for lunch. Rory has some suggestions, and Lorelai wants to know why there are so many a capella performances. She’s also really excited about having brunch with the provost because she’s recently become obsessed with that role. Lorelai then criticizes the placement of Christopher’s nametag (in the middle of his chest, like Superman’s S, rather than to one side). Luke attends his first swim class with Susan but has trouble getting a hang of the breathing. After the class, Susan asks Luke out for some food. Back at Yale, Lorelai and Christopher hit the cafeteria and Lorelai complains that the food isn’t usually like this on normal days. They meet the parents of a student who’s a fan of Rory’s, and Christopher begins to realize how much of Rory’s life he’s missed out on. He and Lorelai also quickly learn that Emily and Richard have shown up for parents’ weekend.
Emily tells Lorelai that they’ve been coming to parents’ weekend ever since Rory started Yale, and Richard notes that he’s an alumnus and a visiting faculty member, so it’s not strange for him to be there. Emily adds that until recently, she and Richard were paying Rory’s tuition, and since Lorelai didn’t seem to want to attend parents’ weekend, they decided to come instead. They traditionally take Rory out to dinner, which seems to make Lorelai jealous. She and Christopher head off to a lecture, where Lorelai complains about Emily and Richard being there and taking Rory to dinner while she and Christopher only get to take her to lunch. While Lorelai gets reservations at the same restaurant, Christopher asks a question about the lecture. At the inn, Sookie decides to use the new vegetables, reasoning that she was going to make ratatouille anyway and doesn’t want to waste perfectly good produce. Michel doesn’t want to listen to Sookie’s problems unless she agrees to call him Captain. She does reluctantly and tells him that though she likes Jackson’s vegetables, these are different. She doesn’t want to feel guilty about using someone else’s produce in her meal. At the diner, Kirk asks Luke if he wants to go get a drink to celebrate his soon-to-be-singleness: Kirk plans to break up with Lulu tonight. He’s inspired by Luke’s freedom in being single. Luke tells him he’d be an idiot to break up with Lulu and threatens to hurt him if he does.
At the Yale Daily News, Paris brags that even though she’s hardly ever there anymore and barely makes an effort, one of her articles still made the front page. Lorelai and Christopher arrive in time to see Rory in action and Lorelai expresses her disappointment that Rory didn’t warn her that Emily and Richard would be there. Rory introduces her parents to her coworkers, and Christopher decides to invite them all to come along. The hungry college students are, of course, excited about getting a free meal at a fancy restaurant. There, Lorelai practices her French accent again and everyone drinks a lot. Christopher invites everyone to go skiing with him sometime, and Lorelai guesses correctly that Rory doesn’t actually socialize with them outside of the paper. Lorelai and Rory agree that Christopher is trying really hard, but Rory says it’s part of the typical college experience, so she’ll deal with it. Lunch is interrupted when Rory gets a call telling her that some students protesting the war have taken over the college president’s office. This means the newspaper reporters need to leave and rework their entire issue. Rory hands out assignments, but the others aren’t interested in skipping dessert, and they note that they’re a little drunk anyway. Rory doesn’t care and takes them away, leaving Christopher and Lorelai to eat all of their créme brûlée.
April and Lane play chess at Luke’s apartment as Luke gets ready to go out with Susan. Lane is only playing chess to bide her time until she can break out some great new Boggle words. At the restaurant, Luke quickly realizes that Susan is very different from him - they’re at a vegan restaurant, Susan would want Marlene Dietrich to play her in a movie about her life (Luke doesn’t know who that is), and she’s very adamant that her ex (also the father of one of her students) is a psycho. Back at Yale, Lorelai and Christopher leave a rugby game and learn that Rory is still at the newspaper. Half of the staff is hungover or drunk, and one has already passed out. That means Rory will be there all night, which, as Lorelai points out, means she won’t be able to go to dinner with Richard and Emily: “We won parents’ weekend.” Christopher laments that he screwed things up by getting the staff drunk and requiring Rory to work all night. He also feels bad for missing so much of Rory’s life. Lorelai encourages him to just be a regular dad, not Superdad, and that they’ll parent Rory together.
At the inn, everyone loves Sookie’s ratatouille, which she tries to downplay. Jackson arrives and complains about a family whose kids Davey and Martha like to play with. He tries to taste the ratatouille but Sookie stops him and distracts him by suggesting they eat out tonight. At the diner, Luke spots Kirk and Lulu together, which makes him happy. He finds April watching TV while Lane sleeps and tells April that things with him and Susan aren’t going to progress beyond their one date. The reporters keep working at the Yale Daily News despite their hangovers, and Christopher and Lorelai try to make things better by bringing them donuts and coffee. Rory assures Christopher that she’s not mad at him; she just wanted to have lunch with just her parents on parents’ weekend. Christopher asks if they can hang out for a while and watch her in action, but she tells him they’ll be late - she happened to mention to Richard and Emily that Christopher and Lorelai are free for dinner, so Emily and Richard are expecting them.
MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lorelai: “I thought café au lait was Spanish.”
Lorelai: “Hey, after lunch can we walk Hunky Dan?”
Laura: “My towel’s all wet.”
Lorelai: “We are near a big brick building and a big tree. Are you near there?”
Lorelai: “Who wears a nametag in the middle of their chest?”
Emily: “A grandparent is a type of parent.”
Written by David S. Rosenthal and Rebecca Rand-Kirschner; directed by Wil Shriner
Christopher: “No, it’s French for coffee and milk. Lait is milk.”
Lorelai: “Really, I thought it was café olé, like, coffee! All right!”
Rory: “Handsome Dan?”
Lorelai: “That’s his official mascot name. Hunky Dan is what I call him when we’re alone.”
Susan: “That’s what happens when you throw it in the pool, Laura. It’s a terrific lesson in cause and effect.”
Rory: “Possibly. We have a lot of brick buildings and old trees here at Yale.”
Christopher: “Tell her we’re by the L-shaped building that from the top looks like a Polaroid camera.”
Rory: “Believe it or not, I don’t know what Yale’s buildings look like from the sky.”
Lorelai: “How ignorant of you, honey.” (to Christopher) “Rory says she doesn’t give two figs about Yale architecture.”
Christopher: “Not two figs?”
Rory: “One-and-a-half figs is all I’ll give.”
Christopher: “Superman.”
Lorelai: “Superman’s S, that was not a nametag. That was an emblem.”
Christopher: “So this is my emblem.”
Lorelai: “‘Hello, I’m Rory Gilmore’s dad, Christopher’ is your emblem?”
Christopher: “Yes, it is.”
Lorelai: “I’m gonna have to ask you to walk 15 feet in front of me.”
Lorelai: “No, it’s not.”
Emily: “A grand piano is a type of piano, is it not?”
Lorelai: “Well, you got me there, Riddler, but I hope that logic works when I crash grandparents’ weekend.”