Written by Greg Daniels; directed by Paul Feig

It’s Halloween, and everyone at the office is dressed up. Michael arrives in a good mood, but that quickly changes when Pam tells him that Jan called. He interviews that this is because it’s the end of the month, and he was supposed to have fired someone by now. He calls Jan, but she’s in a meeting and her secretary just needs the name of the person Michael is letting go. He’s not sure yet and asks the secretary how she would want to hear the news she was being fired so that she could still be friends with the person firing her. Michael calls Pam into his office to tell her that he has to fire someone. She’s worried that this will put a damper on the office Halloween party, but he’s more concerned with ruining a man’s life. Pam guesses that this means a man will be fired. Michael asks who should be fired and she notes that she just answers the phones. Fearing that her job performance isn’t up to snuff, she changes the subject by complimenting Michael’s costume, a fake head on his shoulder.

Jim explains his costume to Dwight, who’s dressed as Sith Lord (which no one gets). Michael chats with his employees, wondering where all their Halloween decorations went. (They were mostly cobwebs, and a janitor cleaned them up.) Michael tells Angela to buy more, then asks her, Oscar, and Kevin to find an extra 50,000 in their numbers. “Pretend that your jobs depend on it,” he tells them. In the kitchen, Michael tells Kelly that she should have dressed as a soccer player like the main character in Bend it Like Beckham. At the reception desk, Jim and Pam work on a new résumé for Dwight and post it on a bunch of job-search websites, hoping he’ll get a job somewhere far away from Scranton. Angela looks through budgets and tells Kevin and Oscar that there’s a department that contains three people doing the job of two. It takes Kevin a minute to realize that she’s talking about their department.

Michael calls Dwight into his office for advice. Dwight, of course, thinks Jim should be fired. His next choices are Phyllis, Stanley, Pam, Oscar, Meredith, Kevin, and Angela. Michael interviews that this isn’t a popularity contest, but it does make sense to fire the least popular person, as that wouldn’t affect the morale of the other employees. Dwight follows up his list of possibilities by suggesting that someone from the warehouse go. Michael pretends to talk to his second head about firing Dwight. Dwight seems to forget that the second head isn’t real. Elsewhere, Angela is upset to learn that Pam made brownies for the party, since she herself made cookies. Someone calls for Michael, wanting a reference for Dwight, and Pam sends the call through to Jim, who pretends to be Michael. He talks Dwight up, saying that he’s “the single greatest employee of his generation.” Dwight tries to fire Stanley (doing Michael’s dirty work), but Stanley just laughs at him.

Dwight gets a call about one of his résumés and offers to send in another one, since his section on martial arts skills isn’t complete. He interviews that he’s not sure if he would ever leave Dunder Mifflin, since he’s loyal to the company, but if there were another company that valued loyalty more, he might go there. Elsewhere, Ryan lets Oscar know that his costume, a dress, is stuck in the back. Jim and Pam try to eavesdrop as Dwight talks to someone on the phone about his martial arts training and why it’s relevant on his résumé. Pam encourages Jim to go for the job, which is in Maryland, and he decides that he might. Dwight tells Michael that he was offered another, better job but turned it down because he’s loyal to Dunder Mifflin. He also hopes that he can officially be made assistant regional manager. Michael wishes he hadn’t turned down the job, since then he wouldn’t have to fire anyone. He encourages Dwight to reconsider but Dwight admits that they never really made him an offer.

Jim interviews that he doesn’t think Michael has any idea who he’s going to fire. He seems to want someone to volunteer or die, instead. Jim thinks it will come down to someone giving Michael a dirty look and getting canned as a result. Michael interrupts the interview and calls Jim into his office, worrying Pam but making Dwight gloat. Jim thinks that’s it for him and starts to apologize, but Michael just wants him to role-play. Michael will play Creed and Jim will play Michael. It doesn’t work out well. Jim gets into character, though, even answering Michael’s phone and trying to kick “Creed” out of his office. Outside, Jim assures Pam that he wasn’t fired. Creed is then called in to speak to Michael. Michael tells him that he feels like Creed wants more than what he’s doing at Dunder Mifflin, but Creed doesn’t. Michael finally tells him straight-out that corporate needs someone to leave, but Creed wants to fight their decision. He advocates for the firing of a guy named Devon instead, promising not to hold this against Michael.

Michael calls Devon in and Devon tries to change his mind about Creed. Michael says he can’t, since he would look stupid, and Devon wonders if now he’s being fired so Michael won’t look stupid. Michael hopes they can still be friends, but Devon makes it clear that that’s not a possibility. Michael tries to offer him some parting gifts, but Devon doesn’t want them. He invites the others (minus Dwight and Angela) to join him for a drink, and most of them tag along. Pam tells Jim that she’s sorry she pushed him to take the job in Maryland, since she would go crazy without him in the office. Jim interviews that it’s not that serious, and if he were offered the Maryland job, he would probably take it. As Devon smashes a pumpkin on Michael’s car, Michael interviews that he loves Halloween and names all of his past topical costumes. That night, Michael is back in his comfort zone, greeting trick-or-treaters, who seem to love him.

PRANKS JIM AND PAM PLAY ON DWIGHT: The two submit his résumé to other companies in hopes of him getting a job far away. This backfires.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Michael: “Who do you think deserved to be fired? Who would that be?”
Pam: “I just answer the phone.”
Michael: “And sometimes you just let it go to voicemail.”
Pam: “Your costume is fantastic!”

“I’m a three-hole-punch version of Jim. ‘Cause you can have me either way, plain white Jim or three-hole-punch.” - Jim

“I’m guessing Angela’s the one in the neighborhood who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts.” - Pam

“Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m getting paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.” - Dwight

“Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated when I’m dealing with incompetence. Well, you know what? You can go to Hell, too. And I will see you there…burning. Fine! Okay, wait. So you’ll let me know when you’ve made a decis--.” - Dwight

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