"Sexual Harassment"
Written by B.J. Novak; directed by Ken Kwapis

Michael goes to see Jim and find out if he’s gotten an e-mail he forwarded to him. Michael interviews that he’s the king of forwards, and he likes to have a relaxed, joking work atmosphere. Dwight shares a video of a monkey with Michael, then offers him the link so he can forward it around. Todd arrives and starts bugging Michael and Jim. Michael interviews that he and Todd were salesmen together and hung out a lot. (Once, Todd told two women they were brothers, and they wound up back at a motel, where Todd had sex with both women.) Michael tells Todd that the CFO resigned and no one knows why. Todd explains that the CFO was sleeping with his secretary, who was “blond incompetent” (Angela doesn’t appreciate this comment). Michael tries to smooth things over, but Todd continues being un-PC. Todd asks Michael if he can find someone to drive him around, since he lost his license due to a DUI. Michael assigns Ryan to do it, much to Ryan’s dismay. Ryan notices that Todd’s license plate is WLHUNG, causing him to ask if Todd is a William Hung fan. (Todd doesn’t know who that is.)

Pam interviews that her mom is coming to visit, but she doesn’t have a cell phone, so she’ll be arriving at the office unexpectedly. Pam thinks this is kind of fun, because it adds some suspense to her day. Jim tells Pam that he can’t wait to ask her mom questions about her childhood, like whether or not she showed any traits that would indicate she was going to be a receptionist. Michael tells Dwight to send him the link to the monkey video so he can forward it. Toby pulls Michael into his office to tell him that the CFO resigned because of sexual harassment. Now corporate wants Toby to take a few minutes to review the harassment policy with all of the employees. Michael refuses, thinking that this means they’ll have to be careful about everything they say from now on. Toby adds that corporate also wants to send in an attorney to refresh Michael on the policy. “There’s no such thing as an inappropriate joke,” Michael says. “That’s why it’s a joke.”

Eventually, Michael gives in and tells his employees that Toby has to interrupt them with an announcement. Of course, no one cares too much that they have to take five minutes to review the policy, but Michael tells Toby that he’s going to be dealing with a mutiny. In an interview, he tells a joke and then mentions that jokes like that will be at risk now. Michael heads to the warehouse to find a joke that will crack everyone up at the policy review. The plan backfires when Darryl, Roy, and the other warehouse guys start making jokes at his expense. At the end of Toby’s policy review, Pam asks everyone that she’d appreciate it if no one made any inappropriate jokes while her mom is visiting. Michael arrives with an almost-naked blow-up doll and asks everyone if they realize what they’re losing. Angela, for one, is happy to be losing e-mail forwards because she hates them. Michael says that Stanley has an inappropriate photo of a girl in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform by his desk. It’s actually his daughter, and he’ll be taking that photo down since Michael likes it a little too much.

Meredith asks about office romances, which Toby says should be avoided. Phyllis wonders if this covers one-night stands, an idea that both amuses and scares Jim. Michael brags that he could have had an office romance with a hot former employee. Jim does an interview with the blow-up doll, pretending she’s his girlfriend. Michael asks if it would be inappropriate for Pam to bring her partner to work if she were a lesbian. Toby says it’s not, but Michael wants to know if them making out would be crossing the line. He tries to get Pam to make out with the doll to demonstrate, but she won’t. Later, Michael and the warehouse workers watch a video about rules for the modern workplace. Dwight approaches Toby and asks him questions about anatomy, apparently thinking that as a part of human resources, he knows about human anatomy. As the guys watch the video, Darryl realizes that an actress on screen is someone he met at a party and slept with. Michael announces this to the office just as Jan arrives with the corporate lawyer.

Later, when Toby and Ryan return, Michael is in a meeting with Jan, Toby, and the lawyer, O’Malley, and tells them he’s frustrated over not being able to say anything anymore. Jan is not happy to spot the blow-up doll in the office. Michael then tells his employees that they can no longer be friends, and they can now only discuss things related to work. Michael declares this his retirement from comedy, but only Dwight is disappointed. Jim takes advantage of the opportunity to ask if this means Michael will no longer be able to use his favorite quip, “That’s what she said.” He uses this to break Michael’s vow, as well as get him in trouble with Jan. (At least Todd is pleased.) Michael brings in his own lawyer, not realizing that O’Malley is really his lawyer, and he’s not actually in trouble. He quickly kicks out his own lawyer so he doesn’t have to pay him. Pam’s mom arrives just in time to see Michael getting rid of the blow-up doll.

Later, Todd gathers an audience while telling a story, which Michael doesn’t say anything about. Jim approaches Pam and her mom, getting ready to talk to them, but before he can, Roy arrives and shows that he and Pam’s mom get along well. After Roy leaves, Pam’s mom asks her which guy is Jim. Jim pretends not to hear but is very pleased. Todd starts telling another story, and Michael finally draws the line when Kevin inadvertently insults Phyllis in an attempt to help Todd out. Michael punishes Kevin by sending him to the corner (which is where his desk is). Todd notes that corporate got to Michael, but Michael says he really got to them. He jokes around with Phyllis but takes things too far, of course. He interviews that though they’re still a family in the office, he has to act differently now, like his kids are growing up. He also manages to make one last inappropriate comment about Pam.



MEMORABLE QUOTES: “We’re like Friends. I am Chandler, and Joey. And, uh, Pam is Rachel. And Dwight is Kramer.” - Michael

“What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!” - Jim

“Toby’s in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.” - Michael

Michael: “What do you say? Jim?”
Jim: “No thanks, I’m good.”
Michael: “That’s what she said. Pam?”
Pam: “Um, my mother’s coming.”
Michael: “That’s what she sai--. No, but, okay, well, suit yourself.”

“Technically I am in human resources and Dwight was asking about human anatomy. Um, I’m just sad the public school system failed him so badly.” - Toby

“When I said before that I was king of forwards, you gotta understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest a guy that was just delivering drugs from one guy to another.” - Michael

Michael: “In the future, if I want to say something funny or witty, or do an impression, I will no longer ever do any of those things.”
Jim: “Does that include ‘that’s what she said’?”
Michael: “Um-hmm, yes.”
Jim: “Wow, that is really hard. Do you really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling. So….”
Michael: “That’s what she said!”

Michael: “We are a family here. And Phyllis is a valued member of that family. Like a grandmother.”
Phyllis: “I’m the same age as you, Michael.”
Michael: “I don’t know about that.”
Phyllis: “We’re the same high school class.”
Michael: “Well, I have a late birthday, and usually September is the cut-off point….”

Michael: “Times have changed a little. And even though we’re still a family here at Dunder Mifflin, families grow. And at some point, the daddy can’t take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.”
Pam: “He said what?!”

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