"Kiss and Tell"
Written by Jenji Kohan; directed by Rodman Flender

Lorelai and Rory walk through downtown Stars Hollow, discussing their need to do laundry. Lorelai is shocked to learn that Rory has done laundry without her. They pass Miss Patty getting her students ready for a Thanksgiving dance and head to Luke’s, where Taylor Doose (Michael Winters) is trying to convince Luke to decorate for Thanksgiving. Luke refuses to put up anything orange, despite the fact that it’s Autumn Festival time and he’s across the street from the Horn of Plenty. He reminds Taylor that they have this fight every year and Luke has never given in. Taylor points out that he’s lived in Stars Hollow for years and needs to start conforming. Rory and Lorelai try to get Luke to end his conversation and serve them; he doesn’t even stop when Rory announces that Lorelai is going commando. The two of them serve themselves and leave as Taylor continues to try to talk Luke into decorating. Later, Rory goes to Doose’s Market and sees Taylor and Dean trying to stack cans in a Thanksgiving-related formation. Dean finds Rory looking at cornstarch, which she pretends that she needs. He offers her a soda, which he calls pop, since he’s from Chicago. He makes her guess which soda is in which hand, and when she leans over to grab one, he kisses her. When he pulls away, she says, “Thank you,” and runs out.

Rory heads to Lane’s, where she reveals that she got kissed and accidentally shoplifted a box of cornstarch. Rory gives her the details, mentioning that they were in the pest aisle, which Lane thinks is a good aisle for a first kiss from the new guy. Mrs. Kim overhears Rory repeating that she was kissed and asks who kissed her; Lane lies that it was “the Lord.” Rory heads off to tell Lorelai, then realizes that she doesn’t know about Dean. She remembers that the last time they talked about guys, things didn’t go very well (see the pilot), but Lane points out that that was because Lorelai thought Rory was going to forego attending Chilton for a guy. She says that Rory doesn’t have to tell Lorelai that Dean was the guy in question, but Rory thinks that she’ll figure it out. Lane talks her into going for it and Rory leaves after telling her that the kiss was perfect. At home, Lorelai tries to describe the sound her refrigerator is making to a repair guy on the phone. Rory comes home and puts the cornstarch on her dresser, but decides not to tell Lorelai about the kiss because she’s mad about the broken fridge. Lorelai heads to Mrs. Kim’s antique store to pick up a chair she ordered weeks ago. Mrs. Kim isn’t happy that the chair has been there for six weeks and Lorelai is just now coming to get it. Mrs. Kim mentions Rory’s kiss and Lorelai runs off without her chair.

Downtown, Rory and Lane, dressed as pilgrims, work at a canned food drive. Lane keeps asking to hear the story of the kiss and Rory reminds her that she was kissed the previous weekend. Lane points out that Rory’s guy was cute and cool, but hers was theology major who hates rock music and kissed her on the forehead. She gives Rory some pieces of information about Dean that she might find useful. She got the info from Dean’s best friend, Todd, who she’d like to be set up with, if Rory can get Dean to arrange it. Apparently, Todd says that Dean hasn’t talked about anything but Rory for weeks. Miss Patty dines at Luke’s and tries to get him to decorate, but he continues to refuse. Lorelai, who’s also at Luke’s, watches Rory and Lane outside and tells Luke that she’s preoccupied by something. Rory comes inside for a break from the drive and Lorelai tries to get her to confide in her. Lorelai starts babbling about General Hospital and kissing, but Rory doesn’t get the hint. Later, Lorelai goes to Doose’s, where Luke catches her watching Dean. She tells Luke that Dean gave Rory her first kiss, adding that she thinks Dean looks smug now. She wants to go after him, but Luke stops her and drags her outside.

Luke notes that Rory is growing up and Lorelai wonders why she didn’t tell her about the kiss. She says that Dean reminds her of Christopher; Luke thinks it makes sense that Rory and Lorelai would have similar taste in men. Lorelai points out that she and Rory tell each other everything, and Rory keeping this from her is reminiscent of Lorelai’s relationship with Emily. She says that she’s “okay-ish” with what’s happening and will let Rory know that she approves so that things between them will go back to normal. When Rory arrives home that night, Lorelai immediately lets her know that she knows about the kiss. Rory is surprised that Lorelai didn’t say anything all day, and even more surprised when she doesn’t get a lecture about kissing a guy. Lorelai says that she’s thrilled, but Rory doesn’t believe her. The girls head to the market, but Rory decides that she can’t go in. Lorelai reminds her that they can’t watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory without a bunch of junk food. Rory finally agrees to go in, but only if Lorelai promises to behave herself. Inside, the girls shop a little before spotting Dean, who Lorelai thinks is really tall; she wonders how they were able to kiss with such a big height difference. Rory introduces her mother to her crush and, after Dean leaves, Lorelai gloats that she didn’t make a fool of Rory. Rory leaves to get the movie and when Dean brings Lorelai something she forgot, she invites him over to hang out.

Rory returns with the movie and Lorelai reveals that she invited Dean over to watch it with them. Rory thinks she’s crazy, since she and Dean haven’t even gone out on a date yet. She doesn’t like the idea of Lorelai interfering, but realizes that it’s too late and the arranged date will take place. At home, Rory hunts for something to wear and complains that the night wasn’t supposed to be complicated. Lorelai helps her out and Rory wonders how she manages to deal with guys all the time without falling apart. Lorelai assures her that she’ll get used to talking to guys and will eventually be able to stun guys. Later, Rory and Lorelai wait for Dean to arrive, wondering why he’s late. They discover that he got sidelined by Babette and Morey, so Lorelai goes over to rescue him. She sends him to her house and tries to convince Babette that he and Rory are just friends. Over at the Gilmores’ Dean and the girls talk about Stars Hollow. Lorelai starts to tell a story about Rory’s childhood but stops and gives him a tour of the house instead. Rory takes over the tour when the doorbell rings, but she’s anxious about Dean being in her bedroom. Lorelai deals with Sookie, who’s brought over dessert so she has the excuse to see Rory and Dean together. Lorelai kicks her out so that Rory doesn’t think she’s parading Dean around in front of her friends. Sookie leaves but comes back and meets Dean; Rory isn’t thrilled.

During the movie, Dean notes that Rory eats a lot, which he thinks is good, since most girls don’t eat. They discuss the Oompa Loompas and Rory reveals that Lorelai has a recurring dream about marrying one. Lorelai counters by mentioning that Rory used to have a huge crush on Prince Charming from Sleeping Beauty. Dean gets the attraction (Prince Charming can dance) because he has sisters. The girls try to get Dean to admit an embarrassing secret and Rory guesses that the theme to Ice Castles makes him cry. Lorelai thinks that he wants Robert Redford to get together with Barbra Streisand in The Way We Were, but Dean hasn’t seen it. They decide that they’ll watch it on their next movie night. Lorelai goes to the kitchen for more food and Dean wonders when he gets to suggest a movie for movie night. Rory vetoes Boogie Nights, not because of the mature subject matter but because Lorelai doesn’t like Mark Wahlberg. Lorelai starts to come back into the living room, but decides to stay in the kitchen instead to give Rory and Dean some privacy. A little later, Rory realizes that they were alone and goes to the kitchen to make Lorelai rejoin them. She realizes how stupid she was after the kiss, since she said, “Thank you.” Lorelai notes that Rory really likes Dean and agrees to go back into the living room.

While Rory’s still out of the room, Lorelai tells Dean that he’s gotten involved with a nontraditional family. Rory likes him a lot, and the whole town knows, so if anything bad happens, there’s no place for him to run. Lorelai declares that Rory can never ride Dean’s motorcycle, even though he doesn’t actually have one, and she’ll have to follow her curfew and keep up with her school work. Dean agrees to her terms, then tells her that he wants her to like him, because otherwise he knows he won’t have a chance with Rory. Lorelai says that she wants to like him, and she usually gets what she wants. Later, Rory and Dean hang out on the front porch and share another kiss. Rory heads up to Lorelai’s room and they agree that the night went pretty well. Rory asks what Lorelai said to Dean while she was gone, but Lorelai won’t tell her. Rory realizes that something is wrong and Lorelai admits that she wanted Rory to tell her about the kiss. Rory starts to leave, then starts to tell the whole story.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lane: “He kissed you in the market?”
Rory: “On aisle three.”
Lane: “By the pest spray?”
Rory: “Yes.”
Lane: “Oh, that’s a good aisle.”
Rory: “What defines a good aisle?”
Lane: “An aisle where you get kissed by the new kid is a good aisle.”

Rory: “He kissed me!”
Mrs. Kim: “Who kissed you?”
Lane: “The Lord, Mama.”

Luke: “You’re not going to kill the bag boy.”
Lorelai: “Why not?”
Luke: “It’s double coupon day. You’ll bring down the town.”

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