"Keg! Max!"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Chris Long

Rory and Lorelai are at home, trying to figure out what to do. They realize how pathetic they are for not having plans on a Friday night, but it’s mostly because they no longer have to go to Friday night dinner (see “Happy Birthday, Baby!”). Rory wants to call, just to say hello, since Lorelai’s the one fighting with Emily and Richard, not her. Rory calls and discovers that Richard and Emily are having a party. Lorelai can’t believe that her parents are having a great time while they’re home and bored. She announces that they have to think of something really fun to do next Friday night. At the diner, Lorelai plays with her new digital camera. Rory gives her a letter from Chilton asking Lorelai to help out the Booster Club. The girls realize that she doesn’t have to participate, since Rory is about to graduate and leave Chilton forever, but Rory worries that they’ll withhold her diploma if Lorelai doesn’t help out. Lorelai takes a picture of Luke and teases him about it. She decides to take photos of the menu and order off of the pictures. Rory and Jess watching Lane’s band practice in the Gilmores’ garage; the group is impressed by their sound and thinks they’re ready for an upcoming gig at a friend’s party. Now they just need to come up with a name. (Vetoed names include the Harry Potters and Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert.”) Brian wonders how Lane is going to play at the party without her mother finding out, but she’s worked everything out by telling Mrs. Kim she’s going bowling with Young Chui. Brian suggests that the band call itself the We, but Zach thinks he’s crazy.

Rory and Jess leave and talk about Jess’ car, which is still missing (see “Happy Birthday, Baby!”). Rory is glad that Jess is getting to know Dave better, since it will make a prom double-date with Lane and Dave more fun. Jess has, amazingly, promised to go and will even wear a tux. At the inn, Sookie comforts Lorelai, who has had to let some employees go until the repairs from the fire are made (see “A Tale of Poes and Fire”). Luke is doing something or other at the inn and Lorelai and Sookie start talking about his butt. He tells them that they’ll have to rebuild the wall behind the stove, which will take a while. Lorelai offers to let Luke and Nicole stay at the inn the next weekend before they go skiing. After Luke leaves, Michel enters and says that he can’t fire a certain employee because he raises Chows. In fact, he’s now taken two of them, Chin-Chin and Pau-Pau. Lorelai attends a Booster Club meeting at Chilton and is given the job of treasurer. Max arrives and the group discusses grad night. Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai tells Sookie that Max treated her the same way he treated the other mothers at the meeting, rather than as his ex-fiancée. Sookie wonders if they really kissed in “The Big One” or if it was just an illusion. She asks if Lorelai wants to get back together with Max; Lorelai doesn’t know and points out that she’s technically still dating Alex. She wishes that she knew what Max wanted.

Jess goes to see Stars Hollow High’s principal, as he was told to when he tried to buy prom tickets. The principal informs him that he’s flunked out and won’t be graduating. Apparently he’s missed 31 days of school (the cutoff is 20) and has ignored warning slips and skipped meetings with his guidance counselor. Jess says that he can catch up, but the principal says it’s too late and he’ll have to redo the entire year. At the Gilmores’, Lorelai discovers that $18 are missing from the Booster Club’s cash box. She never took it to the bank and barely glanced at it when she first got it. Rory says that the amount must have been short when Lorelai first got the box. Lorelai thinks that they were robbed, though, as Rory points out, the so-called burglar would have bypassed all of their electronic equipment and only took $18. Rory gets ready to go to the party so she can help the band set up. Lorelai tells her not to take her purse with her; she should put her house key on her belt, so if she loses it, Lorelai will know what she was up to. Lorelai gives her some party-handling advice, then tells her she’s going to keep her promise not to ask her about Max anymore. The band sets up at the party (which is being hosted by a guy named Kyle) with some help from Rory. Kyle and a friend pack up all of his family’s breakable items. His cousin arrives with a keg, which makes Lane nervous. Young Chui arrives and Dave tries to get him to leave Lane alone. Jess complains to Rory that they’re “dork early” and heads off to wander around while the band figures out some moves.

At the inn, Michel complains about the amount of work he has to do. He’s also obsessed with his new Chow puppies. Back at the party, Jess helps Kyle tap the keg. Lane asks Rory to do something to make Young Chui leave her alone. The band tries to stop freaking out long enough to start their set. They get Rory to introduce them, but no one can settle on a name, so she just mumbles something. At the inn, Lorelai learns that Luke and Nicole took her up on her offer to let them spend the night. Flustered, she tries to give them the works. Back at the party, the band takes a break and celebrates the fact that they didn’t suck. Dave isn’t as happy as he could be because Young Chui’s presence is driving him crazy. He wants Lane to officially break up with him so that they can go to prom together. He’s upset to learn that Young Chui is in love with Lane. She promises that she’ll work things out, but he points out that they’re running out of time before prom. Jess tells Rory that he’s ready to leave but she wants to hear the band’s second set. Later, the two run into Dean and Lindsay, who notes that Jess used to go to Stars Hollow High. Dean speaks up that Jess isn’t around a lot. Jess leaves, not wanting to make more small talk, and Rory excuses his behavior by saying that he’s not feeling well. Lane hides from Young Chui and winds up getting some beer. Lorelai heads to a Booster Club meeting, making up a story to explain the missing money. Paris arrives to tell the club why she thinks having a party on a yacht is a bad idea. The new faculty rep shows up, since apparently Max has stepped down from the position.

Lorelai tracks Max down and accuses him of avoiding her. She adds that he treated her the same as the other parents at the last meeting. He wants her to stay ten feet away from him, just in case. He tells her that when he’s around her, she has some sort of control over him and he can’t be responsible for his actions. Max explains that there are complications because he was seeing someone in California. Lorelai isn’t bothered, since she’s been dating someone else, too. Max thinks that they need to stay away from each other; he thought it was safe to come back to Connecticut, but now things are complicated again. Lorelai points out that it would be impossible for them to never see each other again but agrees to try. Back at the party, a tipsy Lane calls her mother and leaves a rambling message about drinking beer, playing with a band, and dating Dave. Dave finds her and hangs up the phone, but it’s too late. Rory finds Jess upstairs and they start making out. Before things can go too far, Rory stops Jess and tells him that she doesn’t want their first time to be like this. He’s upset, of course, and points out that Rory came upstairs on her own. She starts crying and asks what she did wrong. He tells her she didn’t do anything, but she runs out and heads downstairs. Dean spots her, then Jess, and thinks that Jess hurt Rory. They start fighting as Dave approaches Young Chui. The fight winds up on the lawn and Rory tries ineffectively to break it up. The police arrive and send everyone home. Jess heads off and Rory winds up helping a drunk Lane.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “You’ll put your house key through the metal thingy on your belt. You’ll only lose it if you take off your belt, and if you’re taking off your belt for any reason at the party, I’m not sure I want you coming home.” - Lorelai to Rory

“Dude, don’t call plants by their specific names. It’s very not rock and roll.” - Zach to Brian

Lane: “What is that, beer?”
Zach: “No, it’s one of those milk kegs.”
Brian: “Good one.”
Lane: “There’s beer - is that legal?”
Dave: “Well, apparently Rick is 21.”
Rick: “21, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!”
Dave: “Or just really into that particular integer.”

Max: “Just keep a really big basketball player between us.”
Lorelai: “Wow, I bet there’s a sentence that’s never been uttered before.”


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