"No Man’s Land"
Written by James D. Parriott; directed by Adam Davidson

Meredith voices over about intimacy and how it means baring one’s heart and soul so they can be destroyed. As she writes out a check for her mother’s nursing home, Izzie heads into the bathroom (despite the fact that George is in the shower) and steals George’s toothbrush. Meredith looks through some photos and finds one of a man and woman with a girl in a wagon. Izzie comes into the kitchen in her underwear, brushing her teeth, and Meredith greets her with, “Hello, kitty.” The interns head to Seattle Grace at 4:30 in the morning with George complaining about not having privacy at the house. Izzie ignores him and asks him to add tampons to his shopping list. “I am a man!” George shouts. “I don’t buy girl products!” He also doesn’t want Izzie in the bathroom while he’s in the shower, and he doesn’t want to see her in her underwear. Izzie doesn’t think it’s a big deal and tells George to take his time looking at her. As the interns get ready in the locker room, Bailey tells them to be nice to their patients when they wake them up. She glares at Alex when he arrives late. After Bailey is done, Alex greets Izzie with, “Good morning, Dr. Model,” and she replies, “Dr. Evil Spawn.” Meredith hopes to get good patients, and Cristina thinks that today is her day to participate in a surgery. First of all, she was there before the other interns, and she’s not sleeping with an attending. (Ahem, yet.)

Meredith runs into Derek, who wants to buy her breakfast before her rounds begin. She tells him she already ate and he wants to know what kind of food she likes. She had leftover grilled cheese, which makes him sad. Meredith says she doesn’t want to be seen with him in the hospital because it’s unprofessional. Derek says he’s just trying to get to know an intern, but she points out that they slept together (see “A Hard Day’s Night”). He promises to be professional and calls her Dr. Grey. Cristina goes to see her patient, Liz, who used to be a scrub nurse at Seattle Grace. Liz is sure that Cristina got there early and grabbed her chart in hopes of being allowed to participate in a Whipple, a surgery that the hospital doesn’t see often. Liz tells Cristina to call her Nurse Fallon. Izzie tries to examine a patient named Mr. Humphrey, but he doesn’t think she’s a doctor since she’s in one of his magazines. George tells Meredith that there should be some rules in the house, but Meredith thinks it will take more than rules to get Izzie to keep her clothes on. He reminds her that it’s her house. Meredith thinks George likes Izzie, but he says there’s someone else. Of course, he doesn’t want to admit that it’s Meredith. Bailey sends Meredith and George to help Alex and Derek with a patient named Jorge who tripped while carrying a nail gun and now has nails in his head. He’s currently blind and the testing options are limited, though Alex comes up with a solution.

Cristina presents Liz to Burke during rounds and Liz calls her an “aggressive little witch.” Webber tells Liz that he’s recommending Meredith to assist in her Whipple. Liz notes that she was Ellis’ scrub nurse for 18 years and never met Meredith. Cristina is surprised to hear that Meredith is currently tending to a guy with nails in his head. However, this means Cristina gets the Whipple. Jorge’s wife Sona arrives as Meredith talks to Jorge about his health history. George and Alex research past patients who have had nails in their heads. Alex is more interested in finding out if Meredith and Izzie walk around the house in their underwear. He teases that they’re treating George like they’re his sisters. Bailey and Izzie get ready for Mr. Humphrey’s prostate biopsy, but he still doesn’t want Izzie around. Sona asks Meredith if Jorge’s sight will return; he’s a photographer and she hopes he’ll be able to keep taking pictures. Meredith asks about Jorge’s recent headaches and if he’s had any other problems. Bailey asks Izzie what happened with Mr. Humphrey, and she replies, “Bethany Whisper,” the name of a lingerie company she did an ad for. She asks for Bailey to assign a different intern to the case, but Bailey won’t let her off the hook. Meredith and Derek discuss Jorge, and Derek doesn’t think there’s any big explanation for why he tripped and fell down the stairs holding a nail gun. Meredith, however, thinks he could have a tumor. Derek talks to Alex and George about past patients so he knows what to worry about.

Alex finds Izzie’s Bethany Whisper ad and quickly makes copies of it. In the OR, Jorge talks about Sona and the color red. Bailey confers with Dr. Victor, the surgeon who will do Mr. Humphrey’s operation, and complains about him. Alex, George, and Cristina observe Jorge’s operation from the gallery, shocked at his films. Burke sends Cristina off to do his bidding, trying to see how badly she really wants the Whipple. Izzie gives George money for groceries and reminds him to get tampons. Alex laughs about his emasculation. Cristina and Liz chat about what makes a good surgeon, and Liz says hi to a bunch of people she knows. Derek and Meredith finish up Jorge’s surgery, noting that they’ll have to wait to see if his sight returns. Cristina finds Burke and tells him that Liz is getting worse. She adds that the Whipple isn’t scheduled yet; he wants to get her biopsy results and see her labs first. He also wants Cristina to stick with Liz while she’s on call overnight. Meredith drops by Liz’s room and tells her Ellis sends her regards. Liz finds it suspicious that Meredith claims Ellis is traveling and not practicing medicine. Meredith then visits her mother and shows her some photos she doesn’t recognize, including one of Meredith’s father, Thatcher. She does, however, remember Liz. At home, Izzie interrupts George in the shower again and complains about him not buying tampons. “I am not your sister,” he tells her and Meredith.

At the hospital, Derek asks Meredith what she had for breakfast (it was cold pizza this time). They’re happy to discover that Jorge’s sight has returned. Izzie heads for the elevator and discovers it full of men laughing a copy of her Bethany Whisper ad. Liz blasts Cristina for waking her up and notes that Cristina would rather be at the hospital because she has nothing waiting for her at home. “This is who we are,” Liz says. “This is our lives.” George tries to keep Izzie out of the locker room, which is full of copies of her ad. Alex taunts her, so she takes off her shirt and lets everyone get a good look. She’s not as embarrassed about the ad as Alex hoped because the money she made from modeling put her through med school and she’s not in debt like the others. Jorge’s memory seems to be intact, but Derek wants to run more tests to make sure everything’s okay. Izzie visits Mr. Humphrey and tells him that she’s a doctor and is just as qualified as the other interns. He tells her that’s not the problem - it’s just that he’s fantasized about her and he doesn’t want her to emasculate him by messing with his prostate. Cristina and Burke discuss Liz, and Cristina asks why he still hasn’t scheduled the Whipple. She accuses him of wasting time and acting like she’s only in the hospital to die. Derek and Meredith study Jorge’s MRI, which reveals a tumor. Jorge is ready for surgery to remove it, despite the fact that his memory and personality could be affected.

Meredith visits Liz again and tells her that Ellis remembers her well. Liz notes that Ellis would never forget anything; this makes Meredith laugh. Liz already seems to have guessed that Ellis has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t want anyone to know. She also admits that she didn’t really like Ellis very much. Outside, Izzie tells Cristina that she thinks it’s nice of Burke and Webber to let Liz die at Seattle Grace, since it was her life for so long. Cristina complains that it’s a waste of her time to tend to someone who’s going to die. She says that if she were in Liz’s position, she’d want the doctors to do everything possible to help her up until her death. “Sometimes doing everything can be worse than doing nothing,” Meredith remarks. Cristina admires the Bethany Whisper ad and says to Izzie, “You get that we hate you, right?” Bailey pages Izzie to Mr. Humphrey’s room, where Izzie says that she can’t participate in his surgery because the patient doesn’t want her there. Bailey says what he really wants is to not have cancer. Derek tells Meredith that Jorge and Sona want Jorge to have the surgery. Cristina goes to see Liz, who knew all along that she wasn’t going to have an operation. Liz tells her it was like a hazing ritual, then codes.

Meredith tries to convince Sona not to let Jorge have the operation; Sona wants to give Jorge the best life possible for the years he has left. Even if Jorge doesn’t remember who he is, she’ll remember for both of them. Liz is DNR, so Burke makes Cristina stop trying to revive her. Just before Mr. Humphrey’s surgery, Izzie asks George if he felt like she was emasculating him. “I’m too masculine to be emasculated,” he replies. She apologizes and he says it looks like she put Dr. Model to rest. Bailey tries to convince Victor to leave Mr. Humphrey’s prostate nerves intact, but Victor notes that that will take a long time. Izzie enters and sides with Bailey, saying that they have to give the patient what he wants. Victor tells Bailey to get rid of her, but Bailey won’t. She also doesn’t care when Victor threatens to rat them out to Webber. In Liz’s room, Burke and Webber make Cristina call Liz’s time of death. As Meredith voices over about a guidebook for intimacy, Burke finds Cristina in a stairwell and tells her not to lose it again. “We have to let her go,” he says. Bailey tells Izzie that every time Mr. Humphrey gets aroused, he’ll be thinking of her. As Jorge takes photos of Sona, Meredith voices over that you have to take intimacy where you can get it “and keep it as long as you can.” Izzie and George hang out in the bathroom while Meredith sits down with Derek.

THE TITLE IS A SONG BY…: Billy Joel/Alice Cooper/U2

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Alex: “Nice tat. They airbrush that out for that catalogs?”
Izzie: “I don’t know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?”

“And what are these? …Breasts! How does anybody practice medicine hauling these things around? And what do we got back here? Let’s see if I remember my anatomy. Glutes, right? Let’s study them, shall we? Gather around and check out the booty that put Izzie Stevens through med school. Have you had enough or should I continue? Because I have a few more very interesting tattoos. You want to call me Dr. Model? That’s fine. Just remember that while you’re sitting on 200 grand of student loans, I’m out of debt.” - Izzie


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