"Teacher's Pet"
Written by David Greenwalt; directed by Bruce Seth Green

Xander spends biology class fantasizing about staking a vampire, being a rock star, and receiving affection from Buffy. Dr. Gregory realizes that Buffy isn’t taking his class seriously and encourages her to try harder. Unfortunately, her new favorite teacher is soon killed by a mysterious green bug-like creature. At the Bronze, Xander tries to look cool for a guy named Blayne who claims to have scored with a number of girls. Xander and Willow see Angel for the first time and Xander is, of course, immediately jealous. After Angel gives her his jacket, Buffy notices that he’s received a number of cuts from a "fork guy."

The Scoobies realize that Dr. Gregory is missing, but Xander is too distracted by their attractive substitute Natalie French to give him much thought. Miss French teaches the class about praying mantises and their mating rituals, intriguing all of the guys. In the cafeteria, Cordelia discovers Dr. Gregory’s headless body; the Scoobies wonder if Fork Guy had anything to do with his death. Buffy heads out against Giles’ wishes and encounters Fork Guy, who seems to be afraid of Natalie. Flutie, worried that Buffy has been traumatized by the sight of Dr. Gregory’s body, gets her to see a counselor, who also has to listen to Cordelia’s complaints. Buffy sees Miss French turn her head around a la Poltergeist and becomes sure that something strange is going on.

Remembering what she’s learned from Miss French herself, Buffy wonders if she might be some kind of giant insect. The teacher invites Xander to her house to work on a project, and Xander is so excited that he doesn’t realize Blayne, who went to Miss French’s house to work on the same project the night before, is nowhere around. Buffy finds evidence to support her Bug Woman theory and Giles starts to agree with her ideas. Buffy tries to warn Xander against going to Miss French’s house but he misinterprets her concern for jealousy. Thinking she’s insulting his choice in women by calling Miss French a praying mantis, he gets in a dig about Angel’s "girly" name.

Xander is wined and almost literally dined (on) at Miss French’s house, but her advances are interrupted by muffled screaming from the basement and Xander’s preoccupation with thoughts of Buffy. Xander passes out after drinking a martini and awakens in a cage in the basement, where Blayne is also being held captive. Blayne describes Miss French’s unconventional mating rituals, which involves the fertilization of eggs, followed by her biting off the head of her partner. Giles tells Buffy and Willow that the so-called “She-Mantis” only lures virgins back to her nest; Willow reveals that Xander is most definitely in danger. Buffy recalls that bat sonar will mess up a praying mantis’ nervous system and the Scoobies suit up. When they arrive at the address given for Miss French, they find a 90-year-old woman - the real Miss French. Xander manages to fend off his predator while the Scoobies try to come up with another plan. Buffy tracks down Fork Guy, who leads them to the She-Mantis’ house; he is rewarded with death. The bat sonar plan is successful and the She-Mantis is defeated. However, her eggs are still intact and starting to hatch.

MORAL, or CRAMMING COMPLEX ISSUES INTO A NUTSHELL: Obviously, don’t go to your teacher’s house, no matter how hot she is.

GRADE: B- The Scooby gang is solidifying and their methods of rescuing people is starting to develop. But...are you really surprised that Xander's a virgin?

MEMORABLE QUOTES - Giles: "That’s all he said? Fork Guy?"
Buffy: "That’s all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy."
Giles: "I think there are too many ‘guys’ in your life."

"Can I just say one thing? HEEEELLLLP!" - Xander

Willow: "And you can’t tell Dr. Gregory what really happened at your old school?"
Buffy: "I was fighting vampires? I’m thinking he might not believe me."
Willow: "Yeah, he probably gets that excuse all the time." (from the original script)


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