"Return of the Kane"
Written by Phil Klemmer and Rob Thomas; directed by Sarah Pia Anderson

Logan rides a scooter down his driveway in his pajamas to get the morning paper. A passing tour group pauses outside the house and Logan wonders if any of the people there have lives. His mother Lynn (Lisa Rinna) calls him back to the house as his father Aaron (Harry Hamlin) arrives in a chauffeured car. Aaron signs some autographs and people snap photos; Aaron makes Logan pose for some pictures, though he doesn’t want to. At Neptune High, Jake mentions to Duncan that class elections are approaching and advises him to run in order to impress colleges. At lunch, Veronica complains that her father wants to spend a lot of time with her; Wallace non-chalantly guilts her by reminding her that his own father is dead. Nearby, a girl named Wanda gets food delivered, which, according to a girl named Madison Sinclair (Amanda Noret) isn’t allowed. Madison tattles to Ms. Dent, explaining that Wanda doesn’t have enough Pirate Points for delivery. (Pirate Points are earned through participating in school activities.) Since Ms. Dent is too new to understand the significance, Madison tattles to Clemmons instead and gets Wanda’s food confiscated. Wanda gets revenge on Madison by stepping in her pizza. Wallace asks about Wanda and Veronica tells him that the two of them used to be on the pep squad together. At home, Keith does a Philip Marlowe imitation while Veronica prepares dessert for dinner. From the news, Veronica learns that Koontz has fired his public defender and will, by default, be executed soon. Footage is shown of Koontz’s arrest and Lamb holding evidence bags containing Lilly’s shoes. Veronica asks Keith if he’s going to do anything to help Koontz, but Keith points out that no one in town cares what he thinks anymore.

In her bedroom, Veronica dreams about Lilly, who quips that her soul will be around until justice is served, but she’s making the most of things by giving fashion advice. Veronica asks Lilly if Koontz killed her, but Lilly can’t tell her. At school, Ms. Dent asks Veronica to cover the school elections; Veronica agrees. Wanda gives her speech on the school’s TV station, announcing that if she’s elected, she’ll abolish Pirate Points. Upset about that, Logan tells Duncan that he has to run for president so they can keep their Pirate Points. Duncan isn’t interested. Later, Veronica interviews Wanda, noting that she’s suddenly become popular. Wanda explains that she’s gotten the support of the have-nots of the school who are upset about the elitism of Pirate Points. Logan fills up at a gas station, where a homeless vet washes his windshield. Logan offers him a spot in an amateur boxing match, but the vet is offended and refuses. Back at school, Veronica’s journalism class is watching the school’s TV station when a campaign ad for Duncan (starring Aaron) comes on. Logan is happy that his surprise campaign video turned out so well, but, as is in character for him, Duncan doesn’t seem to care one way or the other. The students vote as Duncan encourages them not to vote for him. Veronica votes for Wanda. Later, she gets on her computer and looks at the four files she has on suspects - Koontz, Jake, Celeste, and Logan. She voices over that Lilly’s backpack and shoes were found on Koontz’s houseboat, and he confessed to the crime when confronted. She adds a file for Duncan, then notes that the Kanes all had alibis until Lilly’s traffic ticket surfaced (see “Credit Where Credit’s Due”), proving that she wasn’t killed when previously reported.

Veronica gets into Keith’s safe and looks through his files on the case, but doesn’t seem to find anything helpful. Logan runs his homeless boxing match. Veronica looks at crime scene photos of Lilly’s room and spots the sneakers that were supposed to be on Koontz’s houseboat. At lunch the next day, the results of the election are announced - Duncan has won. Wallace says that there’s no way he could have won, and Veronica decides to investigate. She contacts a teacher named Mrs. Donaldson about a recount; she gets Ms. Dent to agree to okay the process. Veronica, Wallace, and Wanda do the recount and discover that Duncan did win. Veronica then realizes that someone who wrote “Wanda rulez” on his ballot seems to have voted for Duncan. After finding out what classroom the student voted in, Veronica discovers that there were two different sets of voting instructions. The classes containing a lot of 09ers received the candidates’ names in the right order, but the classes with students who would have voted for Wanda got the names in a different order. The kids who thought they were voting for Wanda were actually voting for Duncan. Mrs. Donaldson explains that she had her student aide copy the ballot instructions for her class; she reveals that her aide is Madison. Clemmons has to make an announcement that there will be a runoff election between Duncan and Wanda. Back at home, Veronica takes another look at the photos of Lilly’s room and remembers drawing a heart with Duncan’s name in it on Lilly’s sneaker. She calls a journalist and asks for a copy of a story done on Koontz.

At a roadside burger joint, Jake tries to give Duncan inspirational advice; he’s happy that Duncan is involved in something. At school, Veronica discovers that someone has written “narc” on Wanda’s campaign posters. There’s a Kane bumper sticker on Veronica’s locker, but someone has spray-painted “narc” on Wanda’s locker and car. Veronica tracks down Logan and Duncan and confronts them for their negative campaigning. An 09er interrupts class and tells Logan to check out The Smoking Gun; Logan does and discovers that his homeless boxing matches have been discovered. That evening, Veronica and Wanda make new campaign posters and talk about Weevil, whom Wanda has heard might have been involved with Lilly. Logan tries to sneak into his house but gets caught by Aaron, who’s upset that he’s getting bad publicity for Logan’s decisions. Things turn violent and Aaron warns Logan to never embarrass him again. At school, Veronica encourages Weevil to vote for Wanda, but he tells her that Felix got in trouble with the sheriff’s department a week after he got together with Wanda. Veronica tells Wanda that they should celebrate the outcome of the election by going to a rave that weekend; she assures Wanda that she can get some drugs from a guy she knows. The students vote for student council president again and Veronica tries to decide who to support this time. She flashes back to a time when some 09ers tried to harass a new student and Duncan stood up for him. Later, Aaron and Logan head to a homeless shelter to perform community service and try to improve their images. Logan announces to camera crews that his father will be donating half a million dollars to the Neptune food bank. At home, Aaron smacks Logan with a belt as Lynn sits by without reacting.

At school, Sacks and Clemmons search Veronica’s locker but only find a hat reminiscent of the Cat in the Hat’s. “There’s a couple of suckers,” she says. “In the bag, if you want one.” Mrs. Donaldson makes the announcement that Duncan has officially won the election. Veronica confronts Wanda, who tells her that she got busted for possession last year and has to turn in kids to the cops in order to keep the arrest off of her record and get into a good college. Veronica is upset that Wanda was willing to destroy her future in order to save her own. Wanda promises that if she’d won, she would have kept her promise and done away with Pirate Points, but Veronica doesn’t care, since she didn’t vote for Wanda anyway. In a classroom, Duncan gives his first speech as president, announcing that he wants to extend the list of activities in which students can earn Pirate Points. Back in Keith’s office, Veronica tries to get back into the safe but realizes that the combination has been changed, indicating that Keith may know that she’s been snooping. She receives her tape of the newscast she wanted and tries to hide it from Keith, then decides to come clean that she’s been investigating Lilly’s death. Veronica reminds him that they’re running out of time, if Koontz is really innocent. Keith tells her that he used to think that solving the case would make everything great again, but he knows it won’t. Veronica shows him the crime scene photo of Lilly’s shoes, then a scene in the newscast tape of Lamb revealing that the shoes were found on Koontz’s boat. Keith wants to know why the shoes were found in Koontz’s possession, and Veronica would like to know the same thing.

WELCOME TO NEPTUNE: Lynn, Aaron, Madison

THE TITLE IS A PLAY ON...: The third part of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Return of the King.

THE LILLY KANE CASE: Veronica has files on her main suspects in Lilly’s murder - Koontz, Jake, Celeste, Logan, and Duncan.

Lilly’s sneakers, which were supposedly found on Koontz’s houseboat, were in a crime scene photo of Lilly’s bedroom.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lilly: “My soul is doomed to walk the earth until justice has been served.”
Veronica: “Really?”
Lilly: “Yeah, that, and, as kind of a side project, I dispense fashion advice.”

Veronica: “Why would he have wanted to kill you?”
Lilly: “Honestly. I was awesome, right?”

Veronica: “I wanna find out who this kid is and what art room he voted in.”
Wallace: “Yeah, and I want a statue of myself in the main lobby, holding a musket, staring down danger. Since we’re talking about stuff we want.” Veronica: “Please.”
Wallace: “How hard was that?”

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