"Smashed"
Written by Drew Z. Greenberg; directed by Turi Meyer

A couple is approached by two men in an alley and begs to make a deal with them. Buffy arrives, ready to do some slaying, and realizes that the men are muggers rather than vampires. She is about to take care of the men when Spike attacks one of them. He discovers that they are human when his chip kicks in. He tries to get friendly with Buffy, suggesting that they kiss again, but she refuses. He calls her a tease and tells her that, eventually, she’ll realize he’s the only one around for her. At the Summers’ house, Willow talks to Amy and suddenly realizes that she can figure out how to turn her back into a human. (Wow, and it’s only been three years! That was quick!) She finds the correct spell and Amy is once again human.

Inside a museum, someone in black propels from the ceiling (a la Mission: Impossible) to a display case. It’s Andrew, and Jonathan and Warren are close behind, though they have decided to walk in instead, considering the fact that the museum isn’t under heavy security. Warren uses a small blowtorch to cut through the glass of the display case and removes a diamond from it. On the way out, the Trio runs into the security guard, Rusty. They freeze him with a freeze ray and escape. Back at the Summers’ house, Amy is jumpy about being human again and says that she feels like she was in the cage for weeks. She’s excited about getting back to her life and says that she hopes Larry will ask her to the prom. Willow has to tell her that Larry’s gay and dead, and that they’ve been out of high school for three years.

Buffy returns home and is about to tell Willow about kissing Spike when she spots Amy. They briefly catch up and Buffy offers to let her stay in the house for the night (“everybody does”). Buffy changes her mind about confiding in Willow, deciding that Amy’s return to humanity is more important. Buffy and Amy see a news report about Rusty being frozen and Buffy head to the museum. Spike arrives, wanting to help out, and she tells him to let what happened between them go. He grabs her shoulder and she punches him. He hits her back and is surprised when his chip doesn’t respond. He fakes pain and grins evilly to himself as she leaves.

Spike heads downtown to take advantage of his new no-pain-having condition. He grabs a woman and complains to her about Buffy before attempting to bite her. His chip kicks in and he wonders what’s going on. At a café, Tara has taken Dawn out for a milkshake and a divorced parent-type conversation in which she assures Dawn that she’ll always be there for her. Dawn tells Tara that Willow is doing better. At the Magic Box, Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Anya research and Willow engages in some magical hacking. She discovers that a diamond was stolen from the museum the night before. The other Scoobies are nervous around her but Anya finally tells her that they feel weird that she’s using magic when Tara left her because of it. Willow assures them that she’s fine. The Trio admire the diamond in their Nerd Headquarters and get ready for Phase Two.

Spike arrives at the Trio’s lair and asks Warren to examine his chip. When Warren asks why he should help him, Spike threatens an action figure with bodily harm. The Trio decide to help him, thinking that he might give them information on Buffy. Willow returns home to find an antsy Amy, who wants to go out and do something. Back at the lair, Jonathan and Andrew try to engage Spike in conversation while Warren looks at the chip. Warren tells him that the chip is working normally and Spike makes him promise not to tell anyone. As he leaves, Spike tells himself that something is wrong with Buffy.

Dawn and Tara return to the Summers’ house to find it empty. Dawn convinces Tara to wait with her until Buffy and Willow get home, guilting her into wanting to protect her. Amy and Willow head to the Bronze, where they play pool with magic. Amy goes to dance with some guys and uses magic to try to get a girl for Willow to dance with. After Amy decides to sit out for a little while, the guys harass her and Amy and Willow use magic to put them in go-go cages. Buffy, Xander, and Anya research at the Magic Box but are unable to find “a frost monster who eats diamonds.” They worry about Willow and the fact that she’s with someone else who’s magically-inclined. Buffy finds herself identifying with Willow’s attraction to something that isn’t good for her. Spike calls her and tells her to meet him at the cemetery. After calling it a night, Buffy tells Xander and Anya that she’s going to patrol with Spike.

The Slayer and the vampire meet up in an alley. They fight, and this time Spike doesn’t hide the fact that his chip isn’t causing him pain. “You came back wrong,” he informs her. She accuses him of doing something to the chip and they take their fight into an abandoned house. Willow magically changes the band at the Bronze; she and Amy start messing with other people at the club. Spike mocks Buffy, saying that she has no one and doesn’t fit in. She fires back the same taunts at him. He’s supposed to kill the Slayer but can’t do it because he’s in love with her. Their fight begins to destroy the house. Willow and Amy put everything back to normal and Amy decides to take Willow somewhere else. Spike and Buffy’s fight turns into a passionate make-out session which doesn’t end even when they fall through the floor. Fortunately, we don’t see everything that we can assume happened.

MORAL, or CRAMMING COMPLEX ISSUES INTO A NUTSHELL: Be careful what you wish for.

GRADE: B- Starts off well, but quickly spirals downward. As Joss himself said, "Au revoir, Monsieur Metaphor!"

MEMORABLE QUOTES - Spike: “I thought they were demons.”
Buffy: “Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher.”
Spike: “Remind me not to help you.”
Buffy:More often?”

Andrew: “See, that's cool. How come he gets to play with all the cool stuff?”
Jonathan: “Because I'm allergic to methane and you're still afraid of hot things?”
Andrew: (pouting) “I know.”

“Uh, Amy...three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's...kinda over.” - Willow

Buffy: “Oh, Tara, hey--. Amy?!”
Amy: “The whole school? By a giant snake thing. Okay, still adjusting. Hi, Buffy.”
Buffy: “Hi. How've you been?”
Amy: “Rat. You?”
Buffy: “Dead.”

Amy: “It's crazy, all the things that've happened since I went away.”
Buffy: “No kidding.”
Amy: “Snyder got eaten by a snake…high school got destroyed….”
Buffy: “Oh, Gatorade has a new flavor. Blue.”
Amy: “See? Head spinning. People getting frozen…Willow's dating girls…and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?!”

Buffy: “But…when I kissed you…you know I was thinking about Giles, right?”
Spike: “You know, I always wondered about you two.”

Amy: “I wish there was a way that I could make him forget about the last three years.”
Willow: “Oh, well hey, I can help you with that. Only, you might wanna sew your name into your clothes first or something.”

Willow: “Oh, well, what do you wanna do?”
Amy: “I don't know. Something fun. Anything…not involving a big wheel.”

Willow: “I know. Xander, engaged; I couldn't believe it, either.”
Amy: “It's just so weird. So what's she like?”
Willow: “Thousand-year-old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.”
Amy: “Well, that's so his type.”

“What are you gonna do, walk behind me to death?” - Buffy, mocking Spike


Back to Buffy episode guides

Back to Fun and Games