"Tell Me Sweet Little Lies"
Written by Joan Rater and Tony Phelan; directed by Adam Davidson

As Meredith watches Derek perform surgery, she voices over that doctors have to be skeptical because patients lie a lot. (She’s been watching House, apparently.) Cristina joins her and each wonders why the other isn’t getting ready for rounds so she can steal all the good cases. Meredith admits that she’s waiting for Derek, who’s doing her a favor, and Cristina confesses that she’s trying to avoid Burke, who thinks she’s moved in with him. Cristina is also surprised that Meredith has started calling Derek “McDreamy” again. As Meredith voices over that lying is necessary, she lets Derek draw some of her blood so that the people running the clinical trial her mother is entering (see “Begin the Begin”) can run a history on her. She voices over that we lie to ourselves because the truth hurts. Later, Meredith and Cristina continue their conversation, only neither will offer up any extra information. They’re saved when George and Izzie show up with Doc and announce that the dog has to go. Meredith argued that they rescued him and he’s their dog. George announces that either he goes or the dog goes. Meredith doesn’t respond immediately, so George decides that he’ll make up her mind for her and just move out. “Tell me that is not a dog,” Bailey says as she spots Doc. “It’s not a dog,” the interns reply.

The interns’ first patient of the day is a man named Rick who has severed three fingers. He hopes they can be sewn back on since he’s a guitarist. Derek tells him that after the fingers are reattached, he can recover. However, he wants to make sure Rick doesn’t smoke because that could hinder his healing. Rick claims that he doesn’t smoke, but Cristina notes that the nicotine stains on his fingers say otherwise. George meets an older woman named Sophie who was supposedly released from the hospital after hip-replacement surgery but hasn’t actually left yet. Debbie, a nurse, doesn’t have time to kick her out, and she makes it clear to Webber that things aren’t easy with limited staff and resources. Webber tells George to get rid of Sophie, then spots Alex and gives him the results of his boards. Alex doesn’t open them. George heads into Sophie’s room to kick her out, but Sophie (who calls him Irish) tells him that she’s only staying there until her daughter is done getting a room in her house ready for her. Alex and Izzie’s patient is a Japanese woman named Yumi whose coach/translator Kamaji tells them that she has persistent hiccups. Yumi is a competitive eater and is supposed to be in a competition that afternoon, but Bailey thinks that her hiccups indicate a bigger problem. As Bailey starts to leave, she suddenly experiences pain and asks Izzie and Alex to page Addison.

Addison examines Bailey and tells her she’s having Braxton Hicks contractions and needs to take it easy. Bailey refuses, since she’s a surgeon and can’t just stop working. Addison asks Izzie to keep an eye on Bailey, telling her the favor is for Bailey, not for Addison. Meredith and Burke’s patient is Naomi, a woman who received a porcine-valve replacement three years earlier but already needs a new one. Naomi is now married and extremely happy. After Meredith and Burke leave the room, Meredith theorizes that Naomi is so happy because she’s on drugs. Burke doesn’t think so, since she denied it, but he tells Meredith to run a tox screen anyway. “Everybody is a liar,” Meredith says, proving her own theory when Burke spots Doc and she tells him he’s not seeing a dog. Derek tells Cristina that she was a little brash with Rick, but Cristina says that he was lying and she was just being refreshing. He encourages her to be compassionate, but she turns it around on him and tells him to be straightforward with Meredith. Webber finds George getting a new remote control for Sophie and admits that she’s been there so long because he himself couldn’t get rid of her. They decide to send her to another service, since they can’t justify keeping her in the surgical ward. Izzie finds George about to take Sophie for tests and tells him he can’t move out. “A girl chose a dog over you?” Sophie asks after picking up on the whole story.

Outside, Alex, Cristina, and George gather up a bunch of hot dogs and prepare for their own eating contest as Izzie tries to make up a flier advertising that they’re giving away Doc. Meredith approaches with Doc and George tells her not to talk to him, since he’s trying to focus on the competition. The contest begins and Izzie and Meredith argue over Doc. After a few moments of eating, Cristina finishes her hot dogs and sings, “You wanna be me but you can’t be me!” until she starts to feel sick. Patricia complains to Webber about the nurses’ working conditions, pointing out that the OR board is crowded and he needs to hire more nurses. Izzie, Bailey, and Alex see a tear in Yumi’s esophagus and tell Kamaji that she’ll need surgery to repair it. That means skipping today’s competition and not being a competitive eater anymore. Cristina finds a bunch of Rick’s friends smoking in his room and kicks them out. Rick promises that he wasn’t smoking, adding that he thinks Cristina believes he won’t be able to quit. She admits that he’s right. Debbie returns Sophie to the surgical floor, but Sophie tells George that now she feels a fever coming on. She also believes that any dog chosen over George must be a heck of a dog. Meredith tells Burke that Naomi’s tox screen came back clean, and he brags that some people don’t lie. He then invites her over to his and Cristina’s apartment for dinner. Meredith is surprised that Cristina moved in with him but tries to cover it up.

In an elevator, Derek tells Cristina that Rick is convinced that he won’t be able to stop smoking and that Cristina agrees. He tells her to go tell Rick that she’s wrong, because if Rick believes he won’t be able to quit, then he’ll be right. Cristina snaps at him again for what he’s done to Meredith, noting that they’re in an elevator and that’s where his special McDreamy moments always happen. She’s also upset that Derek has driven her to give up Doc, who she got because of him in the first place. Finally, Cristina says that if he wants her to lie to Rick, she will. Alex goes to see Yumi but learns that she and Kamaji have left. A nurse thought she was discharged and assumed someone else had done the paperwork, since the nurses are short-staffed. Cristina finds Rick trying to get food from a vending machine and tells him she was wrong to tell him he won’t be able to quit smoking. However, Rick says she’s gotten him thinking about how in ten years he doesn’t want to be bitter about how he used to be a good musician. He announces that he had his last cigarette that morning, only he didn’t know it was his last one. Not longer after that, Derek catches Cristina and Rick outside, where Rick is smoking.

Cristina complains to Meredith that Derek is going to make her watch Rick’s surgery from the gallery. Meredith asks straight out if Cristina has moved in with Burke, and Cristina admits that she told him she’d moved in, but she kept her apartment. Meredith tells her to stop lying, but Cristina points out that she hasn’t been completely straightforward either. George tries to convince a resident that Sophie needs to stay in the hospital because she might have West Nile virus. The resident doesn’t believe him, of course, and tells Sophie that they’ll have to do a spinal tap. She doesn’t seem to mind. Meredith has Naomi sign surgery-consent forms as Naomi encourages her to smile more. Meredith then runs into Tom, who admits that he’s getting tired of Naomi being happy all the time. Meredith tells a tech to run another tox screen on Naomi, lying that Burke gave her the orders. Izzie wakes up Bailey to let her know that Yumi is being brought in by ambulance after having collapsed at the competition she wasn’t supposed to go to. The two of them and Alex tend to Yumi and quickly take her to the OR, though Alex thinks that Kamaji is the one who should be punished for pushing Yumi so hard. Izzie stops him from going after Kamaji and warns him that he’ll get kicked out of the intern program if he hits anyone. She suggests that he open his board scores first, then calls him an idiot.

As Bailey, Izzie, and Alex start Yumi’s surgery, Bailey experiences more pain and Izzie says she thinks she’s going into pre-term labor. Webber is brought in to take over so Bailey can leave. Burke learns that Meredith ordered a tox screen for Naomi (which came back negative) but declines to yell at Meredith for lying about it. However, the labs show that Naomi has high levels of serotonin, which indicates that she has a tumor; its removal will return her to normal. Burke tells Meredith that he appreciates her convincing Cristina to move in with him. As Rick’s surgery begins, he asks if he can watch - he wants to see exactly what he’ll screw up if he ever smokes again. Sophie’s daughter arrives and tells George that her mother’s room has been ready for weeks. However, it’s at a nursing home, not her house. George confronts Sophie, who says that she doesn’t want to go to a nursing home because then she’ll feel old. She encourages George to fight to stay at Meredith’s because life’s too short to just give in. As Webber operates on Yumi, Debbie lets him know that the second shift of nurses aren’t coming in. She’s called for temps, but she wants to make an official announcement - in ten days, the nurses will strike. After Yumi’s surgery, Kamaji tells Alex that he thought she would be fine. Alex tells him to let Yumi know that he’s the reason her career is over. He then gives his board results to Izzie to open, and she tells him he passed but is still an idiot.

Cristina checks on Rick, then runs into Derek, who tells her that he was just being nice to Meredith. The interns gather to say goodbye to Bailey, whom Addison is sending home to be on bed rest. Bailey makes it clear to the interns that they’d better be on their best behavior and remember that she’ll be back. Burke and Derek confirm that there’s going to be a strike as Webber erases the OR board. He tells them that they’re all a bunch of arrogant surgeons. Cristina and Meredith meet up in the gallery again, and Cristina says that if Meredith tells her to, she’ll tell Burke about her apartment. Meredith tells her not to yet, then admits that she does still have feelings for Derek. Later, George finds Meredith in the locker room and tells her that she doesn’t get to choose between him and Doc just because her life hasn’t been great recently. As Meredith voices over about the lies eventually falling away and the truth hurting, Cristina and Burke hang out at home together, and Meredith, Izzie, and George take Doc to his new home - Derek’s trailer.

THE TITLE IS A SONG BY…: Fleetwood Mac

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Kamaji: (in Japanese) “The young doctor wants you to know he’s a wrestler. I think he’s flirting with you.”
Yumi: (in Japanese) “Tell him I eat little boys like him for breakfast.”
Kamaji: (in English) “She wonders how a wrestler got smart enough to be a doctor.”

George: “I gave an ultimatum. Threw dawn the gauntlet. I drew my line in the sand.”
Izzie: “Well, un-give, un-throw, and un-draw.”

“I may be 47 months pregnant. I may be on bed rest. I may not be able to see my own feet. But I am Dr. Bailey. I hear everything. I know everything. I’m watching each and every one of you. And I will return.” - Bailey to the interns

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