"The Quick and the Wed"
Written by John Serge; directed by Rick Rosenthal

At the Mars’ apartment, Veronica repeats to Keith what she found in Woody’s hangar (see “Versatile Toppings”) - detonators and C-4. Keith takes the information to Lamb, who won’t get a warrant to search the hangar but agrees to post someone there. At the Neptune Grand, Logan and Dick watch a show called Tinseltown Diaries in which the sordid details of Aaron’s life are presented. In an interview, Aaron swears again that he didn’t kill Lilly. Hannah watches the same show at her mother’s house; her mom isn’t thrilled to see her daughter’s boyfriend portrayed in a less-than-flattering light. When asked about the sex tapes (see “One Angry Veronica”), Aaron mentions that they haven’t been found and might not exist. He again fingers Duncan as the real killer. Veronica catches part of the show at the Hut, then serves drinks to Jane and some other women who are there for Jane’s sister Heidi’s bachelorette party. The women are on a “bachelorette scavenger hunt” and the Hut is only their first stop of the evening. As Lamb and his guys do their job at the hangar, Keith spots a n arriving truck from Magic Touch car detailers. At Neptune High, a worried Jane approaches Veronica and tells her that Heidi is missing.

At lunch, Jane tells Veronica that Heidi hasn’t been seen since 2 in the morning. Wallace mentions that she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Jane is worried that Heidi is making a mistake and will ruin her life by running away from her wedding. She also doesn’t want Heidi’s fiancé Paul to find out she’s missing. They have three days to find her before the wedding. At Mars Investigations, Keith watches Lamb give a press conference on TV, announcing that a warrant has been issued for Terrence’s arrest. Veronica calls to tell him about Heidi and asks him to look into her phone, credit card, and ATM records. Elsewhere, Hannah and Logan make after-school plans. Later, Veronica runs into Logan and tells him he’s reached a new low by dating Hannah to get to her father. He teases that she’s jealous. At the Hut, Veronica talks to some of Heidi’s friends about the events of their “bachelorette scavenger hunt.” They talk about Heidi’s ex, Nick, whose mother was injured, and the fact that one of the women lost her phone. They add that Heidi has a disposable camera that might contain photos of a guy Heidi had thrown out of a bar for following her. Veronica goes to Heidi’s apartment so she and Jane can look for the camera and Veronica notices two glasses of wine, as if Heidi had a guest over after the party.

In an elevator somewhere, Cassidy and Kendall discuss their business ventures (see “My Mother, the Fiend”). They’re out of capital and Cassidy wants to find some new sources for revenue. Kendall mentions that the Kanes’ house is up for sale, but Cassidy’s business deals are all in the southern part of town. Kendall implies that she may not let him stay in charge forever, noting that her name is on everything. At the Neptune Grand, Cliff meets with Logan to discuss his upcoming trial. Logan doesn’t seem to care what happens and refuses to take a plea bargain. Cliff reminds him that Griffith’s testimony could do a lot of damage. Veronica and Wallace go to a café where Heidi used an ATM and find her car in the parking lot. They get no help from a sheriff’s deputy and hear that the department won’t start looking for Heidi until she’s been missing for 48 hours. Veronica gets into the car and happens to find the camera from the party. Keith heads to Magic Touch and talks to Terrence’s detailer, who tells him that Terrence kept chamois in the cabinet where Veronica found the C-4 and detonators. Since the detailer uses that cabinet often and was at the hanger the day before Veronica was, Terrence probably didn’t stash the explosives there.

At school, Veronica shows Jane the developed photos, telling her that Heidi got a phone call just before she went to an ATM, so it probably had something to do with her leaving. Jane recognizes the bowling shirt worn by the guy Heidi had thrown out of the bar. Kendall pays Aaron a visit in jail and offers him a piece of Cassidy’s land trust business. He replies with a Hannibal Lechter impersonation, asking for something in return. She tempts him with some skin. Unaware of their past encounters, Aaron asks Kendall to do something for him that involves Logan and his hotel suite. At a convenience store, Logan is harassed by a biker. Later, he and Hannah hang out at her mother’s house and he sneaks off to use the computer. He composes an e-mail to Griffith, seemingly from Hannah’s mother, mentioning that “she” found condoms in Hannah’s room. Elsewhere, Hannah’s mother tells her that Logan is bad news. Logan overhears the tail end of the conversation, in which Hannah defends him. Veronica heads to a bowling alley, where she discovers that Bowling Shirt Guy is Vinnie. He calls her Curious Georgette and won’t provide any information on Heidi or who hired him to follow her. As he’s leaving Hannah’s house, Logan seems to falter in any quest he might be on to bed Hannah.

Keith goes to Lamb at the sheriff’s department and tells him that he doesn’t think Terrence put the explosives in the hangar. Lamb informs him that Terrence was caught breaking into Ms. Dumas’ family’s home and her father shot him. In an FBLA meeting at school, Cassidy is disturbed to learn that property outside incorporations may become worthless. Keith calls Veronica to tell her that Heidi used her cell phone twice that morning to call Paul. Veronica calls Heidi’s number but only hears a fax tone. She goes over to the apartment and she and Jane find a fax machine; Veronica thinks that the two calls she received before she disappeared were actually faxes. The two find a flier for Heidi’s ex Nick’s band, plus a note telling her he wants to see her. Veronica heads to a bar where the band will be performing, then gets onto the tour bus, where she finds Heidi and Nick. Heidi tells her that the wedding is off, though she says it’s not because of Nick. She called Paul to tell him she was just going to visit Nick, but he didn’t answer. Then her friend text-messaged her to tell her that she saw him leaving his ex’s house. Nick reveals that he didn’t send Heidi the fax. Veronica notes that this friend lost her phone; Vinnie must have sent the messages.

The morning of the wedding, everyone gathers, expecting Heidi to show up. She arrives late, ready to go through with things, but Paul accuses her of being with Nick. Heidi offers to give back the ring, since apparently that was what Vinnie was hired to get. At the Neptune Grand, Kendall tries to interest Logan in a business arrangement with her and Cassidy, but he’s not having any of it. After Kendall heads to Duncan’s room, Griffith arrives. Kendall sneaks into the bathroom and grabs a hair sample from the shower, then leaves, allowing Logan to put on a show for Griffith. Griffith tells Logan that he’ll make his testimony disappear if Logan stays away from Hannah. At the Hut, Veronica gets Heidi’s friend’s phone back and tells Vinnie he’s not a bad PI. Jane tells Veronica that Heidi and Nick are back together. Logan arrives and tells Veronica, “I think I’ve done something horrible.”

THE TITLE IS A PLAY ON... The movie The Quick and the Dead.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Keith: “Veronica saw them firsthand.”
Lamb: “Oh, well, if Veronica saw them. I mean, that’s like Moses bringing tablets down the mountain to me.”

“Somebody parked a diamond Volkswagen on your finger.” - Veronica, re: Heidi’s engagement ring

Logan: “So you want me to come over after school?”
Hannah: “The words out of your mouth are ‘come over,’ but all I hear you saying is’ ‘Let’s have sex.’”
Logan: “Excuse me? All I hear you saying is, ‘Let’s have sex.’”

Veronica: “Toying with a sweet little girl’s heart just to screw with her dad? I get it - San Quentin isn’t quite as enticing as, say, college, but da%$, you’ve really plumbed new depths, Logan.”
Logan: “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Cassidy: “What have I told you about thinking?”
Kendall: “That it makes my breasts smaller? Have you ever considered that maybe I’m the clever one? That this delightful packaging is a means to outwitting my adversary?”
Cassidy: “Consider it? I’m banking on it.”

“Well, if it helps you decide on your wardrobe, I’ll be wearing an ‘I’m with Stupid’ T-shirt.” - Cliff to Logan

“I’m confused. You’re talking and your clothes are on.” - Logan to Kendall

Back to Veronica Mars episode guides

Back to Fun and Games