"Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!"
Written and directed by Daniel Palladino

Lorelai, Sookie, Jackson, and Davey hang out at the diner, wondering what parents used to say to get their kids to open their mouths before they could say “here comes the choo-choo.” Luke tries to rush them, since he doesn’t like babies, and Jackson is surprised to find himself growing violently protective. Luke tells the group that they have one minute to order and six minutes to eat. Taylor enters wearing a toupee, which everyone tries to avoid mentioning. He was apparently just on a cruise to the Caribbean. He tells Luke that there’s a strange smell coming from the street outside the diner and Taylor’s soda shop. Luke suggests that he check under the thing on his head. The patrons mention that the whole town smells and Taylor wonders if they have a skunk problem again. Kirk quickly agrees and offers to go door-to-door and make people check under their houses. Lorelai, Sookie, and Jackson aren’t ready to order, so Luke tells them their ordering time will come out of their eating time. Sookie tells Jackson to get violently protective again, but he can’t summon it at will. At the inn, Dean and Michel move a bookcase around while Lorelai tries to decide where she wants them to put it. Tom chastises her for not ordering it through him to make sure it would fit somewhere. Dean winds up moving the bookcase himself even though Michel says that it’s too heavy. Lorelai decides that it doesn’t fit and she’ll just give it to Rory.

Lindsay arrives and Lorelai and Sookie watch as she and Dean (aka Frankie and Annette) kiss. Michel says that he hates the bookcase and that he can’t even be in the same room with it. “If you had ordered it from me, he wouldn’t be experiencing this psychological trauma,” Tom announces. At Friday night dinner, Lorelai brings up the subject of anvils and where they have all disappeared to. “This is easily the most pointless conversation we’ve ever had,” Emily comments, which just shows that she doesn’t spend nearly enough time with Lorelai and Rory. Richard announces that he and Digger are acquiring another company. Emily isn’t happy about the planned dinner party with Bob and his wife, whom she hates: “her car looks just like Barbie’s.” Kirk goes to Taylor’s soda shop and tells him that he knows where the smell in town is coming from - 59 undiscovered Easter eggs, which Kirk was in charge of, are still hidden in town. Taylor is not thrilled. “I find your hair very believable,” Kirk tells him. Richard plays golf at his country club and gets some affirmation from Digger. Bob is also there, and Richard tells him that he and Emily love his wife. Digger doesn’t do too well with his swing and wonders why businessmen can’t make deals over air hockey. Floyd arrives and taunts his son, then makes small talk with Richard. They make plans for Floyd, his wife Carol, Richard, Emily, and Digger get together for dinner on Friday. Back at home, Digger and Richard fill Emily in on the plans and Emily tries to figure out whose idea the meal really was. She notes that since the dinner is taking place on Friday, Lorelai and Rory will also be attending. Richard notes that Floyd seems to want to make peace.

Dean takes the bookcase to Yale, though Rory wasn’t aware that she was getting it and doesn’t have room for it. Dean tells her that he’s taking some time off of school and working more to save money so he and Lindsay can get a townhouse. Rory admits that she thinks it’s a horrible idea because a lot of people who take time off of school don’t go back. They argue a little and Dean takes the bookcase back. Downtown in Stars Hollow, Taylor gathers townies to look for the 59 eggs. They have three days to find them all before the flower show. A guy asks if it’s okay for him to look for eggs, since he’s Jewish; Gypsy and Jackson amuse themselves by making fun of Taylor’s toupee. Kirk starts off the search with a Howard Dean impression. At Digger’s place, he and Lorelai discuss plants and photosynthesis before talking about the upcoming dinner with their parents. Digger isn’t looking forward to it, since his father loves to call him by his nickname and his parents have hated every woman he’s ever dated. Lorelai gets nervous over this, but he points out that his parents don’t know they’re dating. Lorelai wonders if they’ll hate her retroactively. Digger says that, in a weird way, her nervousness has made him less nervous. In downtown Stars Hollow, Lane and Rory discuss music and the Easter egg hunt. Rory is shocked that they didn’t make an egg map to remember where the eggs were.

Taylor gets his hourly egg report and is upset that more than half of the eggs are still missing and people keep abandoning the search. Jackson and Gypsy find some in a tree; Kirk admits that those were for him. Gypsy and Jackson keep taunting Taylor, who announces that he misses the Caribbean. Rory and Lane shop at the market for nonperishable, non-heating required food for Lane’s new apartment. Rory mentions that Dean came by Yale and says that he can do much better than dropping out of school and working. She’s also mad at Lindsay for being selfish and wanting Dean to buy her things but not working. Unfortunately for Rory, Lindsay is in the store and overhears this. Kirk straggles into the diner, telling Luke that he’s been up and hunting for eggs for a day and a half. Taylor comes in for food and ignores Kirk. Kirk keeps bothering him until Taylor tells him that he’s torturing him and destroying the town. He adds that he’s going to have to cancel the flower show because there are still 12 eggs missing and Kirk is the only other person left looking. Rory and Lorelai head to Friday night dinner, which is starting outside. Emily and Richard are moving things around, trying to get everything to look perfect for Floyd and Carol. Digger’s parents arrive as everyone notes that Lorelai looks nicer than usual. Rory realizes that it’s because she’s meeting her boyfriend’s parents.

The evening gets off to a normal start with reminiscences and stories. Digger notes to Lorelai that his father is in a particularly good mood tonight and has, amazingly, only said two passive-aggressive things to him so far. After dinner, Rory leaves to go back to school and the men decide to get some cigars. Digger chats with Richard and Floyd and when the discussion turns to Shakespeare, Floyd announces that he’s suing Richard. He adds that it’s because Digger left his company with some of their clients after signing a non-compete clause. Digger and Richard argue that he didn’t break the clause, but Floyd stands by his decision, pointing out that the company will be ruined financially. Digger wonders if Floyd has had someone following him since he caught him having a personal lunch with one of Floyd’s clients. The men head back to the sitting room, where Emily, Lorelai, and Carol are chatting, and Floyd and Carol start to leave. Richard keeps standing up to Floyd as Digger wonders who his father had following him. Floyd finally announces that it was a good PI - he found out that Digger and Lorelai are dating. Carol and Floyd leave with Digger running after them, but he eventually gives up and comes back. Richard and Emily announce that they need to talk to Digger but Lorelai can leave.

Later, Richard blasts Digger for humiliating him in his own house and not seeing this coming. Digger blames Floyd, who sweet-talked them at the club and got himself invited to dinner. He promises that he hasn’t done anything he can get in trouble for, but Richard notes that he’s been lying about his relationship with Lorelai for five months. Digger promises to fix things and try to win back Richard’s trust. Outside, Digger meets up with Lorelai and they head to his place to drink. Kirk stumbles through Stars Hollow, still a dozen eggs short, and begs Luke for help. Luke reveals that he found the 12 missing eggs. “I love Luke Danes!” Kirk yells. Elsewhere downtown, Dean finds Rory and tells her that he’s sorry for the way he treated her at Yale. She’s sorry as well for the way she spoke to him and says that she deserved what he said to her. She adds that she didn’t mean to hurt Lindsay’s feelings. Outside the elder Gilmores’ house, Richard assures Emily that everything will be okay. Lorelai and Digger play drunken charades and agree that at least it’s good that they don’t have to hide their relationship anymore. Digger notes that Floyd trying to destroy him is the first sign of respect he’s ever gotten from his father. The next day, Richard plays golf at the club and gets more affirmation, this time from Floyd. They’ve made an agreement - Floyd will drop the lawsuit, Richard will return to his firm, and Digger is out.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lorelai: “This baby has not made a peep.”
Luke: “He will, and at the worst possible moment.”
Lorelai: “Like when you’re defusing a bomb or something?”
Sookie: “That would be awkward.”

Lindsay: “Are you okay? You’re standing kind of funny.”
Michel: “It’s nothing funny. It is how you stand in these pants.”

Richard: “Well, the girls don’t know the big news about Jason and me.”
Lorelai: “You’re pregnant?”
Richard: “We’re acquiring another company.”
Lorelai: “I was close.”

Dean: (seeing Glenn struggling with a keg) “Should I give him a hand?”
Rory: “If he doesn’t work for his inebriation, he won’t appreciate it.”

Taylor: “We are losing men and we are losing--.”
Jackson and Gypsy: “Hair!”
Taylor: “--Time.”
Jackson and Gypsy: “Jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx!”

Digger: “I have a gigantic bottle of vodka at my place - the largest bottle of vodka known to man.”
Lorelai: “But what will you drink?”

Kirk: “I let Taylor down. He’s like a father to me. I think he is my father.”
Luke: “He’s not your father.”
Kirk: “No, my father’s my father, which means Taylor’s my tailor. I wonder how much he charges to hem pants.”


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