"Wichita Linebacker"
Written by Phil Klemmer and John Enbom; directed by Harry Winer

A football player named Kurt runs the bleachers at Hearst while his coach, Coach Fry, yells at him. Veronica sits in the stands, reading the Hearst Free Press front-page article, which features a photo of the women of the feminist rights organization Lilith House, all topless, with a sign that reads, “We got to Hearst. Go ahead, rape us!” Logan arrives, and as he and Veronica are leaving, he runs into a girl who asks if he’s coming to a party that night. Logan thinks Veronica is jealous that he has female friends, but she tells him she’s just upset that whenever she wants to do something, he’s too busy. The bleacher-running football player heads to the locker room after he’s done, but he discovers that something he had in his bag is now missing. Weevil works at Jumbo’s Clown Car Wash, where his boss takes advantage of his apparent parole to keep control over him. Veronica arrives to get her car washed and expositions that Weevil plea-bargained down from murder to assault. Veronica gets a call summoning her to see Hearst’s dean, but before she can leave, Weevil’s boss ticks him off again and Weevil attacks him.

Piz follows a girl named Trish to the office of the campus radio station, talking about how he wants to do a call-in show about political and cultural affairs. Kurt enters and asks Trish if she saw a three-ring binder in his room that morning; she didn’t, and he thinks he’s dead now. Veronica meets with the Dean, Cyrus O’Dell (Ed Begley, Jr.), who is frustrated that his air conditioning doesn’t work correctly. Veronica spots a picture of Dean O’Dell’s family - his wife, his punk-rocker son, and his stepson - and he tells her that his wife was once his grad student. He then gets down to business, telling Veronica that if she doesn’t give him the name of the professor who gave Karen her pot (see “My Big Fat Greek Rush Week”), she’ll be expelled. Later, in the library, Veronica voices over that she wouldn’t give up the source, but Dean O’Dell gave her a week to change her mind. Piz arrives and tells Veronica that he’s trying to impress Trish to get a job at the radio station. Kurt, her boyfriend, has a problem, and he thinks that if Veronica helps Kurt, he’ll have an in with Trish.

Veronica and Piz get together with Kurt and Trish, who explain that Kurt took his football playbook out of the athletic complex (a no-no) and it disappeared. If he doesn’t turn it in on Monday, he’ll lose his scholarship. Kurt is willing to pay Veronica for her help because it’s better than admitting he lost the book or it was stolen. Trish seems to suspect that Kurt’s position coach took the book, as he hasn’t had much playing time recently and the coach thinks he’s a waste of a scholarship. Veronica asks where the book has been and Kurt tells her that he took it with him to the student union when he and Trish went to an art show to see some pieces by her ex-boyfriend, Larry. He then hung out with his friend Pop and played Guitar Hero (a game Piz also enjoys). The only other people who made an appearance there were some cheerleaders who brought Pop some popcorn. Trish assures Kurt that if he loses his scholarship, they’ll figure things out, but he just doesn’t want to get thrown off the team. Veronica wonders if it might not be easier to get Kurt a new playbook to turn in on Monday.

On campus that night, Veronica runs into Dick, who tells her that the late class he shares with Logan was over quickly because the professor never showed up. Veronica wonders where Logan is. She heads home to find Keith swamped with work, since she’s so busy with school, and suggests that he hire Weevil to help him out. Keith rejects the idea even when Veronica tells him that if Weevil doesn’t get a new job, he has to go back to jail. She gives him puppy-dog eyes, and the next day, Weevil begins as Keith’s receptionist. He’s not very good at it. Keith sends him on a stakeout at a shoe warehouse to see if a security guard is embezzling. Veronica goes to the athletic complex dressed as a cheerleader, voicing over that she can’t just get a new playbook because each has an ID number. She sneaks into Fry’s office to print out a new copy of Kurt’s playbook, but the printer is slow and she has to hide before she can get the copy. Pop is there to tell Fry that he’s transferring, and they’re interrupted when the printer finally starts. Veronica purposely blows her cover, pretending that she was on a scavenger hunt for a sorority hazing activity.

Veronica gets sent to Dean O’Dell for her stunt, but she still won’t give up her source. Three girls from Lilith House - Nish (see “My Big Fat Greek Rush Week”), Fern (see “Welcome Wagon”), and Claire - arrive and complain that they’ve been called in for a meeting but left in the waiting room with two guys who write for the Lampoon. Dean O’Dell reminds Veronica that she has two more days to give up the source. One of the guys asks Veronica for her opinion - he and some other guys have spoofed the Lilith House photo with a banner that reads, “No thanks. (Except maybe the blonde in the middle.)” Nish notes that the girl they’re referring to is Claire, and that this picture is hate speech. Dean O’Dell lets everyone know that he’s more concerned with another issue - someone has vandalized his car. Nish calls one of the guys a pig, which prompts Dean O’Dell to reveal that someone wrote “pig” on his car. Veronica sneaks out as the two sides argue with each other.

Logan tracks Veronica down and she confronts him about his class that ended early. Logan tells her that the professor did show up and she asks to see his notes. He asks her if she wants to do something that night, but she’s working at the library. Veronica then heads to Mac and Parker’s room, but the girls aren’t there. She runs into Kurt and Trish and tells them that thanks to the slow printer, she couldn’t get a new playbook. In Trish’s room, the three find a painting of Trish that turns out to be from Larry. Veronica wonders if Larry hates Kurt enough to steal his playbook. At Mars Investigations, Weevil shows Keith his stakeout photos and shares his opinion that he doesn’t think the security guard is stealing anything. Instead, he suspects a truck driver who appears to have a drug addiction and a discrepancy in the weight of the boxes he’s loading and unloading. Pleased with Weevil’s work, Keith gives him his next assignment, investigating whether a couple’s daughter-in-law is abusing their grandson.

Veronica finds Larry in the student union and asks him straight out if he stole Kurt’s playbook. Larry shoots down her theory, since getting Kurt kicked off of the football team would just give him more time to spend with Trish. However, Veronica thinks that if Kurt loses his scholarship, he’ll have to leave the school and Trish will turn to Larry for comfort. Veronica heads to Kurt’s room and checks out his backpack, since Larry has a habit of smearing oil paint on everything he touches. She doesn’t find paint in Kurt’s backpack, but she does find popcorn. She brings up the idea that if Kurt leaves the team, Pop will get his scholarship. Kurt doesn’t think Pop would steal his playbook, but Veronica wants to blackmail him and get him to confess on tape to get him to take the fall. Veronica later writes an e-mail to Pop while she works in the library, then waits for Logan to visit. He doesn’t - he calls instead to tell her that he can’t make it. Veronica is less than excited to hear a girl’s voice in the background.

Veronica uses a cell phone tracker to find Logan in a dorm room-turned-casino run by a student named Mercer Hayes (Ryan Devlin). A student named Alan asks Mercer about the spread for an upcoming game and Mercer taunts him about his stutter. Logan and Veronica start arguing, so Mercer kicks them out. In the hallway, Logan chastises Veronica for trailing and judging him. He tells her that he’ll be spending the weekend surfing in Mexico with Dick and Mercer, and he’ll keep a diary of all of his bad thoughts and send her a fax with their coordinates. At home, Veronica mopes, and Keith doesn’t make her feel any better by telling her that Weevil got him fired from a job. He found out that the mother of the allegedly abused boy was fine, but her new boyfriend was the abuser. Weevil attacked the boyfriend, and when the daughter-in-law found out he was working for a PI the grandparents hired, she got a lawyer involved. Now the grandparents have no chance at custody and they’re angry with Keith. Veronica begs him to give Weevil another chance, but Keith afford the liability. Veronica gives Weevil the bad news but tells him that she can get him $2,000 to fix Dean O’Dell’s car.

Pop checks The Tell-Tale Heart out of Hearst’s library, leading Veronica to suspect that he stole Kurt’s playbook, as this is what her e-mail told him to do. Pop admits that he still has “it,” which turns out to be a sociology assignment, not the playbook. He did see the playbook when he lifted the assignment from Kurt’s bag, but he decided to keep quiet about it. Veronica learns that Kurt and Pop played Guitar Hero until Trish kicked him out. Veronica heads to the radio station, where Piz tells her that he got his show, and tells Trish that Kurt turned himself in for losing the playbook. Trish seems surprised that Kurt didn’t get kicked off of the team. Veronica waits a while, then heads to Trish’s room, which she has ransacked in a search for the playbook. Veronica admits that she lied about Kurt turning himself in, then asks if Trish wanted him off the team so they could spend more time together. Trish admits that she wanted him off the team because she hates how Fry treats him. Trish isn’t sure where the book is now, but Veronica quickly figures it out. The two of them and Kurt head to Larry’s place, where it turns out that he and his roommate, Alan, having been passing plays along to another team and making money off of their bets. Kurt doesn’t like the idea of just turning over the pages and letting his team lose.

Weevil works on Dean O’Dell’s car in a garage, making a lot of headway. Veronica tells him that though it appears she has an in with the dean, he actually wants her expelled. Weevil expected Dean O’Dell to be cool because he has some good CDs in his car. Veronica looks at them and finds one from a group called the Transplants. She heads to Dean O’Dell’s office and makes a deal for him to drop the source issue if she makes the situation with the Lampoon and Lilith House go away. She shows him the CD, holding it up to the picture of his son, who’s wearing a Transplants T-shirt. Veronica suspects that Dean O’Dell snuck out to go to their show, stealing his father’s car, and when he accidentally dented it, he trashed it further and made it look like the Lilith House girls were to blame. Dean O’Dell considers them even and Veronica tells him that she got his car fixed for free by the guy he’s going to hire as a maintenance worker. Later, Veronica runs into Mercer in the food court and mentions the surfing trip, but he was unaware that surfing would be involved.

Veronica places a tracking device in Logan’s car to find out what he’s really planning to do that weekend. Later, she meets up with Trish, who tells her that Kurt packed up and moved back to Kansas because he lost his scholarship. She adds that Kurt was very hurt by what she did, and she admits that she made a huge mistake and it cost her the guy she loves. A light bulb goes on in Veronica’s head and she rushes back to Logan’s car to remove the tracking device. Dean O’Dell finishes up his peacemaking between the Lampoon and the Lilith girls, then receives more good news - Weevil has fixed his air conditioning. Veronica works in the library, listening to Piz’s first radio show; his guests are the Lampoon guys and Nish and Fern. After some arguing, Fern gets a text message informing her that Claire has been raped. Fern quickly blames the Lampoon guys, as they singled her out. Logan pays Veronica a visit and she apologizes for not trusting him. He tells her he was feeling too “reformed” for Mexico and would rather go to a film festival with her. They celebrate by making out.

WELCOME TO NEPTUNE: Dean O’Dell, Mercer

THE RAPE CASE: Claire is the alleged fifth rape victim.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “Now I’m working at the car wash, which, as it turns out, is not as fun as the song might sound.” - Weevil

“It’s like Jon Stewart meets Crossfire, if Jon Stewart didn’t hate Crossfire.” - Piz, re: his potential radio show

Dean O’Dell: “We can download pictures from the surface of the moons of Jupiter onto a portable phone, but we can't keep the air conditioner in this office running for more than a week at a time. Is there some clue about the human predicament buried in that fact?”
Veronica: “Uh…I’m a freshman. I only recently figured out where Waldo was.”

Dick: “Veronica Mars, modern college girl on the go.”
Veronica: “Dick Casablancas, Neolithic college boy on the sauce.”
Dick: “Okay. Not sure what Neolithic is, but hey, I’m in college. Maybe someone will teach me.”

Keith: (re: Weevil) “Didn’t he get busted for murder?”
Veronica: “Assault.”
Keith: “See? So he’s not even a very good murderer.”

“Dick’s idea of five minutes is, like, one. Ask Madison Sinclair.” - Logan

“Now, maybe people would say they’d never install a tracking device in their significant other’s car, but I think that’s just because they don’t know how.” - Veronica


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