"Written in the Stars"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino; directed by Kenneth Ortega

Lorelai and Rory have drinks with Richard in the pool house, his new home now that he and Emily are officially separated. Lorelai is surprised that the butler’s name is Robert, since she thought all butlers were named Jeeves. Richard denies that he’s a butler, calling Robert a man who attends to his needs. “So he’s a geisha,” Lorelai replies. The three discuss Rory’s upcoming return to Yale. After Richard leaves the room, the girls talk about how weird it is to have drinks in the pool house but think that Richard seems happy. A maid from the main house arrives to tell the girls that dinner is ready, even though they haven’t finished their drinks yet. In the main house, Emily tells the girls that she wants to spice things up now that it’s just girls for dinner. She asks what they talked about with Richard, not wanting them to tell him all their good stories and be left with no conversation topics by the time they come for dinner. Richard sneaks in to get something from his study and Emily gets upset that he’s not staying in the pool house. At the diner, Lorelai and Rory discuss the pros and cons of teaching children to say “bathroom” instead of “potty.” Lorelai tries to flirt with Luke, telling him that they have to act stupid, since it’s the beginning of their relationship. “I’ll do the chicken dance on my lunch break,” he tells her dryly. He heads to the counter, gesturing for Lorelai to follow him, and starts flirting with her there. He loses it after a little while, though, since there are so many people around. They make plans to go out that night. Lorelai wonders what they’ll tell everyone in town; they decide to keep quiet for a little while. Back at their table, Lorelai tries to ask Rory if she’s talked to Dean, but Rory doesn’t want to talk about it.

At the elder Gilmores’ house, Emily passes information to Richard through her maid. Rory moves back into Yale (with help from movers hired by Emily) and encounters Marty. She’s surprised that Paris isn’t already there, so she calls to find out if she’s okay. Paris tells her that Asher died from a heart attack and she’s been trying to sort out his estate, since his family is being immature about his possessions. In downtown Stars Hollow, Lorelai finds Babette, Miss Patty, and another woman gossiping about various town goings-on. Emily and Richard have a cold meeting at their house, discussing financial, social, and charitable matters. Emily complains that Richard’s car leaked oil in the driveway when he worked on it and asks him to take his hobby somewhere else. At Yale, Marty fills Rory in on his summer, which involved discovering that his father isn’t really his father. Three students named Logan (Matt Czuchry), Colin (Alan Loayza), and Finn (Tanc Sade) start bugging Marty, who has tended bar for some of Logan’s parties. They look down on Marty because he doesn’t have money, as they obviously do. Rory returns to her room to find that Paris has arrived and is already rearranging things. She tries to calm Paris down, telling her that she doesn’t have to take care of everything with regards to Asher, but Paris wants his memory to be respected. She wants to have a wake in the room for any student who wants to pay respect to Asher. Rory agrees that it would be a nice thing to do. Luke heads to Lorelai’s house to pick her up for their date; she’s surprised, since she assumed they were going to meet up at the diner. They’re both awkward and Lorelai says that they’ll get over it.

Luke and Lorelai wind up at a tavern that Luke eats at all the time (it’s to him what the diner is to Lorelai). He’s close to the owners, Maisy and Buddy, who knew his parents and helped him out after his father died. Lorelai reads the story of the tavern on the menu; it’s long and involves a dead dog. The couple toasts each other and reminisces about the first time they met. Lorelai came into the diner during the lunch rush and demanded coffee. Luke told her to wait her turn, but she followed him around, talking about something or another, until he told her to sit down and shut up. Lorelai asked what his birthday was, then found his horoscope in the newspaper. She wrote something on it, tore it out, and gave it to him. Luke saw that she had written under Scorpio, “You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she’ll go away.” He gave her coffee but, obviously, she never went away. Lorelai told him to carry the horoscope around with him because someday it would bring him luck. Luke pulls out his wallet, revealing that he has kept the horoscope in it for eight years. He then tells her that he’s “all in” on their relationship. After dinner, Luke and Lorelai head back to his apartment, where they make love for the first time. Lorelai teases that the horoscope proves that Luke has been pining for her. He starts to make a list of CDs to buy to keep in his apartment. In the morning, Lorelai heads down to the diner to get coffee, wearing only one of Luke’s shirts. Everyone downstairs sees her. She flees back upstairs and tells Luke that people might start talking about them now. They figure that people will stop talking about the news eventually.

Paris sets up for the wake in her and Rory’s room. She’s bought up a bunch of copies of Asher’s book and has printed up flyers, which she wants Rory to put up. Rory does so, encountering Logan, Colin, and Finn again; Finn is looking for a girl he met and thinks that she lives in Rory’s room. He starts to leave his phone number on the message board but Rory tells him that he has the wrong place. Logan sees the flyers about Asher’s wake and wonders if he and Rory were more than just professor and student. Logan notes that she doesn’t like him, even though she doesn’t know him. Rory replies that she met him and doesn’t appreciate the way he talks to Marty. Logan, of course, doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He points out that Marty took the bartending job willingly and probably made some pretty good tips. Rory tells him that that doesn’t give him an excuse to treat Marty like he’s beneath him. He boasts that he’s out-debated Rory, then tells her he wants her to call him Master and Commander. Rory returns to her room to find Paris smoking Asher’s pipe; she says that she wanted to smell like him. Lorelai encounters the Stars Hollow Gossip Queens again and is surprised that they’re not talking about her and Luke. She heads back to the inn, calling Luke to tell him that no one seems to know about them. Luke tries to convince her that this is good, since it means they won’t have to worry about being able to go out in public without being hounded. At the elder Gilmores’ house, Emily eats a meal by herself and is shocked to see Richard leaving in the middle of the evening.

Lorelai and Luke head to a town meeting at Miss Patty’s. Emily calls Lorelai to tell her that Richard left and she can’t figure out where he was going. After they hang up, Lorelai blames Luke for distracting her from checking to see who was calling before she answered the phone. At the meeting, Andrew and Gypsy reenact a fender bender they had so that the town can decide who was at fault. A bunch of students, including Marty, attend Asher’s wake; Rory notes that most of them don’t realize they’re at a wake and think they’re actually at a theme party. Fortunately, Paris doesn’t seem to realize that. Paris tells Rory that Asher died at the height of her passion for him and she’ll be in love with him forever. At the town meeting, Gypsy is found at fault and comments that they really need a town courthouse. Taylor brings up the possibly ramifications of Luke and Lorelai’s relationship, noting that when the relationship inevitably ends (since Lorelai’s involved), people will have to choose between the two of them. Taylor basically wants to vote to break them up. Apparently this happened before, with a candy store owner and a flower store owner, and after they broke up, the candy store guy moved out of town. Emily calls Lorelai again to tell her that Richard returned an hour after he left, then went back out again. Lorelai takes the call outside, learning that Emily is driving around town and wants to meet with Lorelai. Lorelai declines. Back inside, Luke gets fed up with Taylor’s discussion and charts and finally announces that his and Lorelai’s relationship is only their business. If they do happen to break up, Luke promises that he’ll be the one to move away. Lorelai calls Rory just in time to apologize for not warning her that Emily is on her way to Yale. Emily arrives in the middle of the wake and has no idea that Paris and Asher were sleeping together. Marty tries to learn more about Rory, asking if she has a boyfriend; she admits that she doesn’t know and leaves. She winds up at Dean’s house and he lets her inside.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Luke: “What can I get you?”
Rory: “A foster home.”

Lorelai: (to Luke) “I can’t believe you won’t flirt with me in front of my daughter. She’s gonna think there’s something wrong with me.”
Rory: “Please. I got that confirmation letter a long time ago.”

Rory: “So how was your summer?”
Marty: “I met Nicole Richie, and then spent the next six weeks showering.”

Rory: “Asher Fleming died.”
Marty: “In bed?”
Rory: “No.”
Marty: “Da$%. I lost the pool.”

“Did you take the bar or just hang out in one?” - Paris to a lawyer

Lorelai: “I’m just trying to remember the first time we met. It must have been at Luke’s, right?”
Luke: “It was at Luke’s, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, and this person--.”
Lorelai: “Ooh, is it me? Is it me?”
Luke: “This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy.”
Lorelai: “Ooh, it’s me.”
Luke: “I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she’s being annoying - sit down, shut up, I’ll get to her when I get to her.”
Lorelai: “Y’know, I bet she took that very well, ‘cause she sounds just delightful.”
Luke: “She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me.”
Lorelai: “…Seriously. You wrote the menu, didn’t you?”
Luke: “So I’m looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under Scorpio, she had written, ‘You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she’ll go away.’ I gave her coffee.”
Lorelai: “But she didn’t go away.”
Luke: “She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me - one day it would bring me luck.”
Lorelai: “Well, man, I will say anything for a cup of coffee. Um…I can’t believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet.”
Luke: “Eight years.”
Lorelai: “Eight years.”
Luke: “Lorelai, this thing we’re doing here - me, you - I just want you to know I’m in. I am all in.”

Lorelai: “What time is it?”
Luke: “Early.”
Lorelai: “Hate early. Must kill early.”

Rory: “What’s her name? Maybe I know her.”
Finn: “Uh, it was short.”
Rory: “I can understand your disappointment, losing a potential soulmate like that….”

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