Written by Sheila R. Lawrence; directed by Michael Zinberg

Luke catches up to Lorelai on the street just to say hello; she, of course, turns it into a big deal. They’re both on their way to Mail Boxes Etc., where Lorelai is getting stamps and Luke is getting a divorce. Lorelai makes a big deal out of this as well, thinking that Luke should end his marriage someplace a little more dignified. Luke notes that a divorce isn’t that dignified to begin with. She gives him her opinions on divorce, leading him to note that she knows a lot about divorce for someone who’s never gotten one. Lorelai decides to delay her trip to the store so that Luke can have some privacy, but he convinces her to just go. Inside, Luke pressures Lorelai to get her stamps rather than wait until he’s finished filling out his paperwork. She’s excited to see the new breakfast foods and Bewitched stamps. Luke gets frustrated by her conversation with Kirk and reminds them that he’s trying to get a divorce. At the diner the next day, Luke wrestles with a broken toaster and complains that he can’t get the ink off of his thumb from having to put his thumbprint on his paperwork. Lorelai’s phone rings and Luke kicks her out before she can answer it. She and Rory, who’s on the other end, realize that Lorelai wound up with Rory’s phone. Digger calls on Lorelai’s other phone to tell her that he’s heading off to practice his golf swing to try to impress Richard. Luke comes outside, sees Lorelai on two phones, and notes that she has an illness. She makes him help her take a bite of Danish, which he thinks is “a frightening picture of things to come.”

Digger tells Lorelai that he hasn’t talked to his father since the events of “Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom!” but he’s working on it. Rory shouts, “Fire!” because she feels left out. After Digger hangs up, Lorelai and Rory talk about the Gilmore/Stiles feud. Lorelai says that Digger is working on making Floyd’s lawsuit disappear but she hasn’t even tried to talk to her parents yet. “That’s my little Kofi Annan,” Rory says. They talk about Rory’s class with Asher, which is difficult, then hang up. At Lane and the band’s apartment, Zach and Brian play video games while Gil tunes his guitar. Lane gets Brian and Zach’s attention by telling them that they’ll add matchbox twenty to their set list if they don’t participate in the band meeting. The band has a gig on Friday and are putting together a guest list. Gil has also put together a flier using a prototype from his sandwich shop. The talk of sandwiches makes everyone hungry, but there’s no food in the apartment since no one has any money. Lane finally heads to the store so that everyone will get back to work. On the way, she sees a girl named Kyong (Susane Lee) leaving the Kims’ house, wearing Lane’s sweater and being tended to by Mrs. Kim. At the driving range, Digger tries to chat with a client who quickly flees. Michel leads a tour group at the inn and asks Lorelai if the horses are clean before he’ll take the group out to see them. Sookie’s cookie-baking is interrupted when she injures herself and her employees carry her out. She’s at least excited to be back.

Digger arrives, surprising Lorelai, and complains that he spent all day trying to get in touch with Richard. Then, finally, Richard’s lawyer called to tell him that Richard and Floyd are going back into business together. Plus, Richard is taking all of his and Digger’s clients back, so Digger is now left with nothing. Lorelai doesn’t get why Richard would do this, but it makes perfect sense to Digger - Richard gets the lawsuit dropped and makes money at the same time. Of course, now he’s ruined Digger’s reputation and Digger has no idea what to do. At Yale, Paris and Rory attend one of Asher’s readings. Rory gets a little creeped out when Paris talks about how sexy he is. She’s also upset that some of the other students seem to be flirting with her man. Paris wants to go up and say hello to Paris, but Rory doesn’t; Paris thinks she’s trying to hide. Paris thinks that Asher dedicated his book to her and doesn’t care that the dedication is vague. Doyle arrives, wanting to cover the reading for the paper, and notes that the audience is full of single girls. Rory assures him that she’s only there because she likes books. Doyle tells her that Asher has a new girl every year, but “this year’s girl is a bit of a mystery.” Lorelai goes to her parents’ house and asks him why he’s backing out of the business with Digger. Richard tells her that he did what he had to do to keep Floyd from coming after him. Lorelai apologizes for lying about her relationship with Digger and asks if he can do something else that won’t destroy Digger. Richard tells her that she can always go off with Digger if he’s going to leave town. She replies that her life is in Stars Hollow. “Well, then, you’ve made your choice,” he tells her. He adds that she only cares about what happens to Digger, and he’s not surprised.

After Lorelai leaves, Emily asks Richard if it’s really necessary to go after Digger like this. She notes that it took them a while to form a good relationship with Lorelai and she’s afraid that he’ll drive her and Rory away again. Richard notes that Lorelai lied to them and repeats that he’s doing what he has to do. At Yale, Rory talks with Lane on the phone about Kyong. Lane thinks she’s been replaced but Rory notes that she moved out by choice. “I bet this one can needlepoint,” Lane says. They talk about Lane’s upcoming gig, which Rory can’t make and which Lane thinks Kyong might replace her for. Rory heads to a classroom to get a paper back that she wrote for Asher. One of the other students is happy with a B-, noting that a B- in Asher’s class is like an A anywhere else. Rory is surprised to see that Asher gave her an A. Later, Lorelai stops by Rory’s room to return her phone and to tell Rory that she won’t be at the next Friday night dinner. She fills Rory in on what’s been happening. Rory thinks that Richard will be sorry later; she doesn’t want Lorelai to stop coming to dinner because it’s the only time the whole family gets together. She promises to be a buffer between Lorelai and Richard. Lane works at the diner, fielding questions from Kirk about her band’s fliers. Lane takes an unauthorized break when she spots Kyong outside and runs out to talk to her. Kyong explains that she’s an exchange student from Seoul, but Lane accuses her of stealing her life.

After one of Asher’s classes, Rory tries to make sure that she earned her A and that he didn’t give it to her just because she’s friends with his girlfriend. He tells her that she deserved the A and warns her not to question his grading in the future. Lorelai and Rory head to Friday night dinner, though Lorelai tries to stall. She wonders if Richard will ignore her or constantly barrage her with conversation. She still wants to leave and tells Rory that “right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, ‘Don’t go in there.’” Inside, Richard acts as if nothing has happened but Emily arrives from running errands and the girls note that she’s acting strangely. The popular topics of conversation seem to be traffic and school. After dinner, the girls learn that they’re not having dessert and decide that it’s time to leave. Outside, Lorelai and Rory discuss how odd Richard and Emily were acting. Lorelai notices that Emily’s car is parking in the driveway, something that never happens. The girls see Emily coming and hide in the bushes. She gets in the car with her dry cleaning and Lorelai wonders if Emily isn’t spending the night at the house. Lane and her band have a great gig, after which Zach and Lane do a little bonding until some groupies distract Zach. Later that night, Lane sneaks into her old house and kisses her mother’s forehead as she sleeps. Lorelai and Digger meet up at a coffee shop, where Lorelai confides that her parents are separated but she’s not supposed to know. Digger announces that he’s suing Richard; if he wants to keep working, he has no choice but to fight back. Lorelai notes that she asked him not to do this and tells him that she can’t be with someone who’s suing her family. She walks out without looking back.


MEMORABLE QUOTES: Digger: “So I’m officially taking the one hour I have off to go to the driving range to hit golf balls to try to improve my sucky game, thereby redeeming myself in your father’s eyes.”
Lorelai: “I like the use of ‘sucky’ and ‘thereby’ in the same sentence.”

Lorelai: “Okay, just relax, why don’t you? I would like to stop and smell the roses, if you don’t mind.”
Rory: “Mom….”
Lorelai: “You’re young. You don’t understand these things. I’m old, I’m dying, I’m gonna smell a rose. Oh, I don’t see a rose. I think there’s one next door.”

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