"But I’m a Gilmore"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino; directed by Michael Zinberg

The morning after the opening of the Stars Hollow Museum (see “To Live and Let Diorama”), Paris and Rory are hungover from Miss Patty’s punch and Kirk is feeling the aftereffects of too many Abba Zabbas. Lorelai gets them tacos, which are supposedly the perfect hangover food. Rory is a little upset over being left on the bathroom floor all night, but Lorelai tells her that she was physically stopped from moving her by Rory herself. In the living room, Lorelai tells Rory that Paris got so frantic about using the payphone that police backup had to be called for the first time in Stars Hollow history. Rory promises never to let Lorelai see her drunk again. Lorelai is hurt that Rory won’t talk to her about her issues with Logan. Back at Yale, Rory pays Logan a visit and tells him that she can’t keep casually dating him because it’s not her. He points out that he didn’t make her do this. Rory says that she doesn’t want to be one of his many women anymore; his case isn’t helped when his roommate informs him that he has a call from another girl. Rory tells Logan that maybe they can just be friends, but he thinks she’s trying to give him an ultimatum. He tells her he’ll be her boyfriend, even though her told her previously that he’s not that kind of guy. His case is again hurt by the appearance of one of his groupies. Rory and Logan each admit that they don’t want to stop seeing each other, so they decide to try a relationship.

Paris returns from Stars Hollow and finds Doyle sleeping in her bed. It turns out that he wasn’t in touch with her all weekend because he was sick; he’s actually been waiting for her to come back all weekend. Unfortunately for him, she freaks out and leaves. Sookie calls Lorelai at the inn to tell her that she’s been placed on bed rest until she has the baby. Lorelai tries to assure her that the kitchen staff can take care of everything, but she soon learns that without Sookie, they basically only have people who can make salads and desserts. She calls the diner, asking Luke, “How pretty do you think I am?” When he hears about her crisis, he agrees to come over. After dinner together, Rory and Logan head to his dorm to check for movie times. Rory isn’t happy to find a girl named Honor there waiting for Logan, but she calms down when she learns that Honor is his sister. She’s just gotten engaged and would like Logan to be at their family’s house the next night when she announces the news to their parents. Honor is surprised to learn that Rory is Logan’s girlfriend, but she recovers and invites Rory to the house as well. After Honor leaves, Rory tells Logan that he doesn’t have to take her to the house, but he thinks it’s something a boyfriend would do. Lorelai shows Luke around the inn’s kitchen so that he can take over Sookie’s cooking. Paris brings her nanny back to her dorm to tend to Doyle, since sick people freak her out. Doyle points out that she’s pre-med.

Sookie calls the kitchen to make sure that everything is going well for Luke, and also to nitpick his methods. Lorelai asks her about applications for her temporary replacement, but Sookie isn’t sure where they are. At home, Lorelai hears someone in the kitchen and decides that a pillow would be her best weapon. Fortunately for her, it’s only Rory, who’s come to get a dress to wear to dinner at the Huntzbergers’. After asking Lorelai to be quiet after she hears the news, she informs her that she and Logan are now a couple. Lorelai almost dies trying not to say anything. Sookie calls Luke again to chastise some of his dishes; he’s confused as to how she knows what they taste like. He realizes that she has people sneaking food out of the kitchen to her and announces to the staff that the food can no longer leave the inn. Rory returns to Yale and is surprised to see Paris’ nanny making her bed. Paris fills her in on Doyle and Rory fills her in on her new relationship. Paris is impressed that Rory “landed the whale.” Logan and Rory head to dinner as he warns that his parents might get vicious when they hear about Honor’s engagement. Rory thinks that five years of Friday night dinners have prepared her well enough. Honor greets them and tells them that everyone is acting chilly and her fiancé Josh is terrified. Rory meets Logan’s mother Shira (Leann Hunley) and grandfather Elias. After some polite conversation, things turn awkward.

At the inn, Lorelai shares with Luke that the guests love his food. He replies that the kitchen staff is better than they thought. He catches one of them taking food upstairs and follows him to find Sookie hanging out in one of the rooms. Luke orders her not to interfere anymore. At the Huntzbergers’, things are still awkward, so Shira goes outside to sneak a cigarette. Elias isn’t happy that Logan’s father Mitchum hasn’t arrived yet because he wants to discuss Honor and Josh’s relationship. Logan tries to defend Honor’s decision, and she finally announces that she’s engaged. Logan encourages the family to celebrate, but Elias wants to talk about unsuitable significant others. Shira joins in that Rory wasn’t raised the way Logan was; Elias says that when Logan takes over the family business, he needs the right kind of woman at his side. Logan gets fed up and starts to leave with Rory, who doesn’t understand why she’s being criticized, since she’s a Gilmore and went to Chilton and Yale. Before they leave, Mitchum (Gregg Henry) arrives and is at least more polite to Rory than his wife and father were. At Yale, Paris decides that it’s time for her and Doyle to talk about their relationship. Jackson heads to the inn and blasts Luke for the way he treated Sookie. Luke tells Lorelai he can’t deal with the drama anymore; she reveals that she had no idea any of it was happening. Luke knows that he can’t quit, since he’s dating Lorelai, but he makes it clear that if they weren’t together, he would walk out.

Lorelai heads outside, where Jackson is driving Sookie home in a golf cart. “Ah, if this is the eccentric couple version of The Amazing Race, I think you guys are winning,” she comments. Jackson doesn’t think they’re talking to Lorelai, since she’s Luke’s girlfriend and they’re not talking to Luke. Since Jackson won’t stop driving, Lorelai jumps in the cart to find out what’s going on with Sookie. Lorelai butters her up, telling her that she’s a great chef and her replacement possibilities might not be as great but are still necessary. Sookie admits that Luke did a pretty good job; she’s especially impressed with his lamb chops. The women decide on a replacement from the kitchen staff and Sookie asks Lorelai to thank Luke for her. Logan takes Rory back to her dorm but doesn’t want to come in. At Lorelai’s house, she expresses her appreciation for Luke’s help and tries to find out for Sookie what he put in his lamb chops. Rory calls to vent about her evening; Lorelai is shocked that anyone could hate Rory, saying that “it’s like hating Thumper.” Lorelai is glad that Logan stood up for Rory instead of just sitting there and letting his family insult her to her face. Rory is worried that the relationship isn’t as great as she thought, since Logan didn’t come in, so Lorelai tells her that he might not be able to carry off commitment. Rory gets upset but Lorelai points out that she spent the night crying in the bathroom because of Logan. She asks if Rory really wants to be in a relationship like that. Apparently she does, because when Logan shows up, she tells Lorelai that everything is fine again. Things are also fine with Paris and Doyle, who have talked about their relationship. Mitchum shows up in the Yale newsroom and apologizes to Rory for the horrible dinner, then offers her an internship at the Stanford Eagle Gazette. She declines but he talks her into it.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Shira, Mitchum

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Michel: “It’s for you. It’s Sookie. She’s done with her doctor’s appointment.”
Lorelai: “Oh, she say how she is?”
Michel: “Mm, to someone who may have asked her, I’m sure she would have.”

Lorelai: “You know, I love watching you cook. It’s hot.”
Luke: “That’s because you’re standing right next to the broiler.”
Lorelai: “Oh, is that what we’re calling it now?”
Luke: “Not in front of the guys, please.”
Lorelai: “Fine. I’ll save my dirty cooking jokes for later.”

“If she wants you to double-strain that sauce, you will double-strain that sauce, my friend! Because I have to live with her and if she is upset because of anything that you have done, I will come over here and I will soundly kick your a%$! That is, if you haven’t killed me yet!” - Jackson to Luke

Lorelai: “What are you going to do?”
Luke: “You want to know what I’m going to do? Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you and you know very well I can’t leave. All I can do is come out here and say I’m through and pretend I have a leg to stand on and then march back into that kitchen and keep doing the job, but, oh, boy. I’m going to be thinking about what I would have done if we weren’t in a relationship, even though that would mean I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.”


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