"To Live and Let Diorama"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Jackson Douglas

Sookie and Lorelai are in line to say goodbye to Old Man Twickham, who is close to death; they’re eating unattractive trail mix and get chastised by Taylor for being disrespectful. Lorelai notes that Twickham has been dying for 20 years. Miss Patty speaks up that this is her 17th time saying goodbye. Kirk walks by selling souvenirs. Andrew emerges from the house and tells Lorelai and Sookie that Twickham is a little tired and is thinking of holding off on dying until the next day. Sookie and Lorelai are disappointed because they’ve been waiting around for so long. They don’t have time to come back the next day, so they encourage everyone in front of them in line to make it quick. “He should really start dying earlier in the day,” Sookie says. Later, Lorelai calls Rory at Yale to tell her that Twickham died. Rory can’t believe it, since he’s been dying her whole life. Sookie and Lorelai were the last people to see him. Kirk is happy, though, because people bought a bunch of his souvenirs. After Rory gets off the phone, she yells to Paris that she’s pathetic. Paris says that Rory is pathetic, too, since they’re in the same situation - their significant others have been out of touch. Lane and Zach go to Sophie’s music store (see “Help Wanted”) and Lane reveals the album of Sophie’s that she’s had since she was a kid. Lane wants to get together with her to talk about writing music; Sophie is less than warm about the idea.

Lorelai goes to the diner, where Luke is ecstatic that she and the inn are going to be featured in a magazine article. She notices that the window between the diner and Taylor’s ice cream shop is broken; Luke explains that Taylor broke it just by being Taylor. He’s so happy about Lorelai’s article that he’s willing to go to a town meeting with her. There, the townies are trying to figure out where to let Kirk sleep each night (see “Pulp Friction”). Kirk says that he’ll just sleep out in the gazebo. Taylor brings up Twickham’s house, which has been left to the town. Kirk wonders if he can sleep in Twickham’s death bed. Luke is impatient to hear what this means. Taylor explains that Twickham wanted the town to turn his house into a Stars Hollow museum for two months; after that, Taylor, as head of the Historical Society, gets to decide what to do with the house. Luke isn’t happy about this, which annoys Taylor, who says that Luke tried to kill him that morning. However, when Taylor asks for volunteers to help with the museum, Luke raises his hand. Taylor thinks he’s mocking everyone and says that Luke threw a frying pan at him. Lorelai is upset that she wasn’t there to witness this. She wonders why Luke volunteered and he tells her that Twickham was like a father to him and he feels bad for not saying goodbye to him. The next day, Taylor is surprised to see Luke at the house/museum. After some badgering, Luke tells Taylor that he’s there because Lorelai asked him to volunteer.

Lorelai gives her interview at the inn, and when the conversation turns to family, she goes off on Emily. At Twickham’s house, Taylor has to play the adult to Kirk and Kyle’s children as they help out. Taylor thinks that they should alter a letter from a 1944 George Washington to make it look historic. Luke rejects the idea. After Taylor leaves, he sends Kyle to summon Luke to his “office,” where he asks Luke not to disagree with him in front of the other volunteers. Outside, Luke learns that Taylor has hired Dean as a carpenter. At Yale, Paris watches a ‘60s beach movie to try to take her mind off of Doyle. She notes that Rory and Logan have cooled off; Rory admits that they have but she doesn’t want to sit around and watch Paris wallow. Paris decides that instead of sitting around and moping, she should do something interesting for the weekend. At Hep Alien’s apartment, Lane is surprised to learn that Zach wants to cancel their plans to shop for cleaning supplies (something he apparently loves to do) because he wants to go hang out with some friends. Rory heads home for the weekend and is shocked to see that Paris has beaten her there. Her parents have had to leave the country, so she couldn’t go home. Rory says that she can sleep on the couch, but it’s already taken by Kirk. The girls realize that they have no plans (Luke had to go retrieve a cannonball Twickham’s sister borrowed from him) and are glad to have a quiet weekend coming up. They fill each other in on recent goings-on and Rory warns Lorelai that if everything she said about Emily at the interview was on the record, it’s fair game for the article. Also, she told Emily about the article.

Luke and Taylor return to Twickham’s house with the cannonball and meet up with Dean again. Luke and Dean don’t even try to disguise how they feel about each other. On her way home from the store, Lane is surprised and hurt to see Zach talking to Sophie outside the music store. The next morning, Lorelai serves breakfast to her real child and two temporary children. Paris reveals that Kirk deals blackjack in his sleep. Lorelai tries to get him to turn off the TV and come to the kitchen to eat. He does, then builds a fort with cereal boxes. The four make plans to go to the grand opening of the Stars Hollow Museum, which Lorelai tells Kirk he’ll have to wear his jacket to. When they arrive, Lorelai meets up with Luke and Sookie as Paris asks Rory to take her cell phone so she can’t try to call Doyle. They join up with Lane and the three of them start in on Miss Patty’s famous “leftover punch,” which is traditionally very strong. Luke gives Lorelai and Sookie a tour of the not-so-impressive museum, the highlight of which may be the cannonball that fell through the floor. Outside, a drunken Rory, Lane, and Paris complain about their boyfriends. Lane decides to go confront Zach, and Paris announces that she needs a bathroom. Rory thinks she’s going to call Doyle, so Paris gives her her shoes and socks to prove that she won’t be going far. As soon as she finds a payphone, however, she starts asking people for money. Back at Twickham’s house, Taylor presents his audio-visual history of Stars Hollow.

Lane heads to Sophie’s and tells her that she may have more experience but Lane knows Zach better. Sophie shows her Zach’s secret - he’s been playing banjo with a bluegrass band. Zach was afraid that Lane wouldn’t like this side of him, but she admits that she likes the banjo and everything is okay between them again. On the street, Paris is still out of luck with pocket change. At Twickham’s house, Rory calls Logan but hangs up instead of leaving him a message. She’s disappointed that his voice mail references the night out he has planned with his friends. Inside, the presentation is interrupted when Lorelai’s cell phone rings. She answers it in the corner and talks to the interviewer, telling her that she thinks she crossed a line with the things she said about Emily. The interviewer, however, loved the info and put it in the article. Lorelai asks her to rewrite the article, but the interviewer says it’s too late and her only option is to cut it. After the presentation, Taylor meets up with Luke outside and tells him that the diorama went over so well, he thinks they should keep the museum running through the summer. Luke tells him that the museum is dumb and not even historical. He announces that he volunteered because he wants to buy the house and thought he should stay on Taylor’s good side. He encourages Taylor to keep the museum open for the required two months, then sell the house to him. Sookie and Lorelai leave the museum, deciding that they need to bring everyone they know to the diorama. Lorelai calls the interviewer and tells her to pull the article. Luke is pleased to see Lorelai admiring the house. Rory rejoins the group, admitting that she doesn’t feel well, and Lorelai takes her home. Luke finally confronts Dean, who tells him he’s going to be stuck in Stars Hollow forever and Lorelai will get bored with him. At home, Rory sobs over Logan.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lane: “I would like to write and compose and I was wondering if we could sit down sometime and just talk about music, because I think you have so much you can pass on to me. Woman to woman. Really, just coffee sometime. My treat.”
Sophie: “Well, I suppose sometime when I’m not working or out of town, if my boyfriend’s busy and my laundry’s done, and I’m not sick and there’s nothing on TV, we could maybe meet up for a couple of minutes.”

Kirk: “I’ll just sleep outside in the gazebo. I would ask, though, that if I die from exposure, don’t just dump me in the landfill.”
Miss Patty: “No one’s dumping you in a landfill, Kirk.”
Taylor: “It’s against regulations.”

Taylor: “Who doesn’t love Muzak?”
Sookie: “Oh! Music lovers?”

Taylor: “No, Kirk. If you build an igloo to sleep in, and the town plow runs over it, it kills you, we are not going to just leave your corpse in the snow.”
Kirk: “Okay, but I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Once I strained my pecs lifting a birdbath and they were no good to me ever again.” - Taylor

Lorelai: “Now, I don’t know what all your plans are, but the grand opening of the Stars Hollow Museum is this morning. Any takers?”
Paris: “It’s always amusing when provincials grasp for legitimacy. I’m in.”

Ezekiel: (in Taylor’s diorama) “Those stars. So bright. This forest, hollow. What name should I give this place? Hollow. Stars. Hollow. Stars.”
Lorelai: “No. Really? They’re going to leave us on a cliffhanger?”

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