"Dead Things"
Written by Steven S. DeKnight; directed by James A. Contner

Buffy and Spike have sex in Spike’s crypt, then sort of have a conversation. When he calls her an animal, she decides it’s time to leave. He asks if she trusts him and she replies, “Never.” The Trio has found new Headquarters, now that they’re on the lam from the Scoobies. Warren announces that the cerebral dampener, their newest toy, is ready to be charged. They do so with magic, and Warren says that with the dampener, they can turn any woman into a sex slave. Tara goes to the Doublemeat Palace to meet with Buffy, who has asked her to come. She tells Tara that Spike’s chip doesn’t work on her anymore and asks her to check out the spell that was used to resurrect her (see “Bargaining, Part 1”).

Andrew and Jonathan wait in the Nerdmobile, watching on a monitor as Warren goes into a restaurant. Jonathan and Andrew point out different women as Warren looks around for the right one. He stops when he sees Katrina (last seen in “I Was Made to Love You”). He gives her a pick-up line and she tells him she never wanted to see him again. Warren puts on sunglasses and pulls out the dampener, which flashes. Katrina suddenly becomes calm and says, “I love you, master.” Buffy returns home to see Xander and Dawn dancing in the living room and fears that they’re back in musical mode (see “Once More, With Feeling”). Turns out Anya and Xander are teaching Dawn dance steps for their wedding reception. The Scoobies invite her to come to the Bronze with them; Buffy declines in favor of spending a quiet evening with Dawn, but Dawn takes off for a friend’s house. Buffy decides to go to the Bronze after all.

In Nerd Headquarters Version 2.0, the Trio drinks champagne, poured by Katrina, who’s wearing a French maid’s outfit. (Of course.) Warren tells Jonathan and Andrew that Katrina is the perfect woman, then announces that he gets to play with her first. In the bedroom, Warren gets Katrina to say that she never should have left him and still loves him. Suddenly she says his name and he realizes that the dampener’s effects are wearing off. Warren yells for Jonathan and Andrew to grab the dampener as Katrina blasts him for the attempted sexcapades. Warren tries to use the dampener on Katrina again but it’s run out of power. Andrew and Jonathan learn that Katrina is Warren’s ex and she tells that that what they thought was a game is actually rape. She starts to run upstairs and Warren goes after her. They fight and he hits her over the head with the champagne bottle, which makes her fall down the stairs. Warren tells the other two to charge up the dampener but Andrew realizes that Katrina is dead.

Andrew and Jonathan sit in shock as Warren tries to come up with a plan to cover up what happened. Jonathan tells Warren that Buffy knows he knew Katrina and will piece things together. Warren decides that they can use this opportunity to get rid of Katrina’s body and take care of their Buffy problem. At the Bronze, Buffy and Willow watch Anya and Xander swing dance. Willow goes to join them and Buffy heads up to the balcony, where she encounters Spike. He tells her, “You try to be with them…but you always end up in the dark…with me.” He asks her what her friends would think if they knew what she’s been doing with him and who she really is. They then proceed to have sex on the balcony, but we’re just going to pretend that didn’t happen, mmkay?

The next day, Willow and Xander run into Tara on their way to the Magic Box. Willow tells Tara that she’s doing better and Tara says that she’s glad. We see a montage of Buffy patrolling, Spike hanging out in his crypt, Buffy going to the crypt but not going in, and Spike sensing that she’s outside. Buffy sees a woman being chased through the woods and goes after her. She tackles one of the attackers, but when she looks down, he’s gone. She suddenly sees Katrina on the ground nearby, crying. Buffy heads towards her but suddenly Katrina is gone. She can hear strange voices saying, “What did you do?” Spike arrives, followed by a demon that attacks Buffy. Another demon fights Spike while Katrina lies nearby. Soon after, the area is empty and Spike is walking over to Buffy - nothing has happened yet. Suddenly, they’re back in the fight. Katrina runs past and lies down on the ground. Time keeps moving back and forth, confusing Buffy. She takes a swing at a demon but finds herself hitting Katrina, who falls down a hill. Buffy and Spike run down after her and realize that she’s dead. “I killed her,” Buffy says. Nearby, Katrina watches from the trees.

Spike tells Buffy that they have to leave before someone sees her but she’s in shock. They run off and Spike tells Buffy that Katrina’s death was an accident. In the Nerdmobile, Warren and Andrew watch them and Warren congratulates himself for his ingenious plan. Katrina enters and turns back into Jonathan. He and Andrew are still unsure about Warren’s plan, but Warren says that Katrina’s death is Buffy’s problem now. In bed, Buffy has trouble sleeping and keeps hearing the voices asking her what she did. Spike comforts her, saying, “It’ll be our little secret.” Suddenly, they’re having sex in his crypt, then back in the woods, fighting the demons. Buffy asks Katrina, “Do you trust me?” In Spike’s bed, Buffy moves to stake him, but then we’re back in the woods and Buffy has staked Katrina. Of course, it’s all a dream. Buffy wakes up and goes to Dawn’s bedroom, where she tells her what happened. She says that she needs to go to the police and Dawn whines that Buffy never wanted to come back. She’s not here anyway, so she might as well turn herself in.

Spike meets up with Buffy near the police station and asks her what she’s doing. She tells him that she needs to turn herself in but he says that he took care of things. He claims that Katrina’s body will never be found, just before they hear two cops talking about a body that washed up near the cemetery. Oops. Spike tries to talk Buffy out of confessing, saying that he loves her. She tells him to try not to. He reminds her that numerous people are alive because of her and that one dead person doesn’t change that. She hits him and he tells her to take everything out on him. She tells him he’s dead inside and that they could never have a real relationship. “You always hurt the one you love,” he taunts.

Buffy goes into the station and overhears a cop talking about the body that was found. She hears that the victim’s name was Katrina and realizes that she was Warren’s ex-girlfriend. She runs out of the station without confessing. At the Magic Box, Anya finds a picture of the demons that Buffy fought and tells her that they mess up chronology. The Scoobies assure Buffy that she didn’t kill Katrina. Buffy decides that she needs to find the Trio to make them pay for Katrina’s death. Warren revels in the fact that Katrina’s death has been ruled a suicide. Andrew is also happy that they literally got away with murder, but Jonathan is less thrilled. At the Summers’ house, Tara tells Buffy that, though her molecular structure was altered by her resurrection, there is nothing wrong with her. Buffy grows upset that she can’t blame her behavior on anything and Tara realizes that she and Spike have been sleeping together. Tara tells her that she’ll keep everything quiet and that her behavior is excusable. Buffy breaks down in tears and begs Tara not to forgive her.

MORAL, or CRAMMING COMPLEX ISSUES INTO A NUTSHELL: There’s a fine line between creative and insane.

R.I.P.: Katrina

GRADE: B- This episode only serves to set up Warren's inevitable downfall.

MEMORABLE QUOTES - Buffy: “You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.”
Spike: “Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck.”

Tara: (looking at posters that read “dedication,” “productivity,” “cooperation,” and “motivation”) “I have this sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.”
Buffy: “Well, if you close your eyes and repeatedly smash yourself in the head with frozen meat, it'll go away. Eventually. I'm hoping.”

Warren: “Gentlemen? To crime.”
Jonathan and Andrew: “Crime!” (They sip champagne)
Andrew: “Crime tastes funny.”

“We're not going to have to do that at the wedding, are we? 'Cause there's this last thread of dignity I've been desperately clinging to.” - Willow, watching Anya and Xander swing dance

Xander: “Hey, I see sitting where there should be dancing.”
Anya: “Come share in the joy of our groove thang.”
Willow: “And despite that, I succumb to the beat.”

“Don't think about the evil bloodsucking fiend. Focus on anything but the evil bloodsucking fiend.” (she hears a scream) “Thank you!” - Buffy


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