"I Was Made to Love You"
Written by Jane Espenson; directed by James A. Contner

Buffy takes her anger at Spike out in the training room while Giles tries to make her feel better. He tells her to calm down and Xander seconds the suggestion. It turns out he’s inside the huge padded suit she’s beating up on. He tells her that some day she’ll find the perfect guy, and suggests that her problems with relationships may be due to the fact that they live on a Hellmouth. A young woman named April hitches a ride into Sunnydale and tells the truck driver who brought her there that she’s in town to find her true love. At home, Buffy and Dawn admire Joyce’s new dress as she prepares to go on a date. She asks for Buffy’s advice and Buffy says that she’s not the person anyone should be asking romantic questions of. Dawn tells her that she might meet someone at the spring break party she’s going to that night.

Tara and Anya walk down the street, discussing the Internet and Anya’s success with online trading. They run into April, who asks if they’ve seen someone named Warren. At the spring break party on campus, Buffy and Xander share a dance (Anya let them) before Buffy heads over to stand near Ben. She plays hard to get until he notices her and says hello. She asks him to dance and he accepts, but goes to throw his cup away first. (Hardcore fans may notice that he’s gone for about 5 minutes.) April enters, still looking for Warren (Adam Busch), who is there with a girl named Katrina (Amelinda Embry). He tells Katrina that they have to go and the two of them split. April approaches the Scoobies and Xander and Willow both express an attraction to her.

Spike approaches Buffy while she waits for Ben to return; he asks her if she’s looking for her next future ex. He asks if she really thought he was going to leave town and says that if she wants him to go, she’ll have to throw him out herself. She tells him to leave as Ben comes back. He gives her his phone number (thinking that it’s better to do it before she sees him dance) and asks if she wants to get coffee some time. At first she’s nervous, but he assures her that he just wants to get to know her better. April continues her search for Warren, eventually reaching Spike. He whispers something apparently naughty in her ear and she takes offense. She picks him up and throws him through a window.

Spike takes off and April says that only Warren can touch her. Buffy, pleased with April’s actions, approaches her and tells her to take a break from looking for her boyfriend. April tosses her aside as well, then apologizes for hurting her and says that she hopes Buffy’s boyfriend will take care of her. The Scoobies decide that April must be a robot and that Warren must have built her. Willow accepts the task of tracking down Warren, even though they don’t know his last name, but the group decides not to worry too much about April until the next day. Buffy returns home, where Giles has had an agonizing evening baby-sitting Dawn. Joyce comes home and tells Buffy that her date was a little friendlier than Buffy would like to know.

April continues her quest, going door-to-door in the middle of the night. The next morning, the Scoobies convene at the Magic Box to discuss April and Warren. After a little more research, Willow finds Warren and Buffy decides to go talk to him, but Giles isn’t sure it’s safe. He is placated when the Scoobies say that April was created for sex, not fighting. They discuss how lonely Warren must be to build someone to be with him, and Buffy debates calling Ben. She finally does, reaching him in Glory’s apartment. They set up a date for coffee, and when he gets off the phone, he is irritated by the dress he’s wearing. Katrina is also irritated - Warren is packing up and telling her they have to leave town. Just as he’s about to split, Buffy arrives. Upon hearing that this is about “her,” Katrina asks Warren what’s going on. He tells her to shut up and she smartly leaves. Warren asks Buffy if April has hurt anyone and says that she followed him to Sunnydale. He dramatically prepares to tell her that April is a robot but, of course, Buffy isn’t too surprised.

At the Magic Box, Dawn asks if April is connected to Ted (see “Ted”), who she never actually met, but whatever. Spike shows up and Giles tells him he’s not welcome. He tries to explain what happened with Buffy and Drusilla (see “Crush”) but Giles interrupts him. As Spike tries again, Giles shoves him into a bookcase. “We are not your friends,” he declares. “We are not your way to Buffy. There is no way to Buffy.” He tells him to leave and “get over it.” Spike pretends to not know what he’s talking about but Giles isn’t amused. April is still looking for Warren out in Sunnydale, but no one really cares. Warren tells Buffy that he made April to love him and care about him, but that he doesn’t feel the same about her. He fell in love with Katrina, but couldn’t get rid of April, so he left. He thought that her batteries would run down, but they obviously haven’t.

April runs into Katrina, who tells her that Warren is her boyfriend. April grabs Katrina and squeezes her, saying that Warren is hers. Spike dismantles his Buffy collection and throws everything into a box. Buffy and Warren go out looking for April, finally finding her after she has almost killed Katrina. Buffy tends to Katrina while Warren tells April to go back home and wait for him. Buffy demands that Warren tell her the truth, and Warren finally tells April that it’s over between them. April’s combat mode is enabled (don’t ask) and Warren announces that he’s in love with Buffy. April attacks the Slayer as Katrina regains consciousness. She realizes that April is a robot and leaves; Warren chases after her. April begins to lose power and is unable to keep fighting Buffy.

Buffy and April talk about April’s failed relationship, and April says that if she doesn’t have Warren to make happy, there’s no point to her existence. She wonders if she’s being tested and Buffy says that Warren might come back to get her. After a few preprogrammed platitudes (say that five times fast), April shuts down. Buffy finds Xander fixing the window from the party and tells him about April’s existential dilemma. She realizes that she doesn’t want to turn into the sort of person who only exists to make someone else happy - she needs to “get comfortable being alone with Buffy.” She calls Ben back and leaves him a message, telling him that she needs to cancel their date. Glory listens to the message and Jinx tells her that Ben made a date with the Slayer. Glory worries that he’s working against her, and is somewhat hurt that Buffy turned “us” down.

Spike goes to Warren’s house with his box o’ Buffy stuff and says, “You’re gonna make her real good for me.” Buffy returns home and, after a minute, sees Joyce lying still on the couch in the living room. “Mom?” Buffy asks. “Mom? Mommy?”

MORAL, or CRAMMING COMPLEX ISSUES INTO A NUTSHELL: Warren’s just getting started.

GRADE: B- I don’t think anyone liked April.


MEMORABLE QUOTES - Joyce: “So, is anyone gonna talk about my dress?”
Dawn: “I like it.”
Joyce: “You sure? I mean, it's not too mom-ish?”
Dawn: “Oh. That was why I liked it.”
Buffy: “You're both crazy. It's not mom-ish at all. It's sexy. It screams, ‘Randy sex kitten, buy me one drink and I'll….’ Oh, wait, that's not really good either.”

Joyce: “What time is it?”
Buffy: “4:23. You have lots of time until seven. Vast acres of time in which you could plant crops. Now tell me about this Brian and what his intentions are.”
Dawn: “Maybe he's a gigolo. Was his shirt all shiny?”
Joyce: “No! He works for a publishing house. He's a nice, normal guy, okay?”
Buffy: “I think I've heard of those.”

Anya: “Anyway, I took the money from working for Giles, and I tripled it.”
Tara: “Tripled? Like, first money, then money money money?”
Anya: “Yes. I'm thinking about buying something very expensive. Maybe an antelope.”

Buffy: “Dancing with you is way better than trying to hook up with some good-looking guy.”
Xander: “I think I liked it better when you were kicking me in my puffy groin.”

Buffy: “And again with the non-medical clothing.”
Ben: “Well, actually, these are orthopedic pants. Man, that sounded so funny in my head.”
Buffy: “It's very, very funny. It's funny in my head too.”

Ben: “Was that guy bothering you? Should I, um, offer to get inappropriately violent or something?”
Buffy: “No.”
Ben: “Good, 'cause, honestly, I don't wanna.”

“I don't know about you guys, but I've had it with super-strong little women who aren't me.” - Buffy

Xander: “…I'm the grownup who sees the world through my job. I'm like my uncle Dave the plumber. I must be shunned.”
Willow: “Okay.”

Buffy: “What'd she make you do?”
Giles: “Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.”
Buffy: “I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my ‘fun time Buffy party night’ involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade…. No…wait…I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.”
Giles: “A robot? Sounds interesting.”
Buffy: “We're gonna work on it in the morning. I mean, unless you wanna stay for a while, and then you and I could--.”
(Joyce enters)
Joyce: “Who wants to hear everything?”
Buffy: “…Listen to my mom talk about boys.”

Joyce: “I left my bra in his car.”
Buffy: “Mother!”
Joyce: “I'm joking.”
Buffy: “…That's horrible. Don't do that.”
Joyce: “I left it in the restaurant.”
Buffy: “No more! No more! No more!”
Joyce: “On the dessert cart!”
Buffy: “I can't hear you!”

Giles: “And you're certain she was a robot?”
Buffy: “Absolutely.”
Tara: “Well, she practically had ‘Genuine Molded Plastic’ stamped on her a%$. Just…tryin’ a little spicy talk.”

Tara: “Oh, do you have any books on robots?”
Giles: “Oh, yes, dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before - no, I'm lying. I haven't got squat, I just like to see Xander squirm.”

“Beautiful girl with…no other thought but to please you…willing to do anything….” (Buffy, Willow, Tara, and Anya stare) “Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but…he'd get it.” - Xander

Xander: “I think I've actually turned into someone you want around after a crazed robot attack.”
Buffy: “And if you ever start your own business, you have your slogan right there.”

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