"Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin’ the Twist"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino; directed by Jamie Babbit

Rory and Lorelai ride around Stars Hollow in Kirk’s pedi-cab, embarrassed by the experience and frustrated by how slow they’re traveling. They worry that Luke will run out of donuts before they reach the diner. Kirk seems to be struggling, but he wants to finish up the first ever ride in his new Stars Hollow pedi-cab. He tries to convince him that the rides are fast, but Rory notes that Gypsy just “out-strolled” them. The girls jump ship and Rory worries that Kirk will hate them for bailing. Lorelai says he’ll just hate them until he sees something shiny. Kirk rides by quickly and yells that they were the reason the cab was going so slowly. He calls out that Rory has gained the freshman 15, then threatens to beat them to the donuts. At Yale, Paris criticizes Rory’s eating habits, telling her that Asher has turned her on to all bran so that they’ll live a long time together. They plan to set up a table so people can sign their petition to free Burmese political prisoners. Nearby, Glenn and Janet make arrangements to head to Florida together for Spring Break (Janet is desperate). Janet tells Paris and Rory that they should come along, but the girls aren’t interested. They ask her to stop by and sign their petition, but Janet will be busy buying a new bathing suite. Paris hates that she’s thin.

Lorelai goes to the diner and shows Luke the stationery and postcards she, Sookie, and Michel have picked out for the inn. He tells her that no one actually uses that stuff and doesn’t know why she’s showing it to him anyway. She reminds him that he’s an investor in the inn (see “The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais”), but he notes that investors are involved in business decisions. She tells him that in that case, he should make a decision about the stationery. Lorelai mentions that Luke seems upset and he finally tells her, “I am not wearing my socks.” He spent the night at Nicole’s apartment and didn’t realize until he was almost to work that the socks he’d put on aren’t his. At Yale, Rory and Paris sit at their table in cold wind, freezing and failing to get anyone to sign their petition. Glenn stops by and they think he’s going to sign, but he just needed a place to set down his sandwich. The girls run back to their dorm to escape the rain and fight over the radiator. Paris brings up Florida and though the girls don’t want to spend Spring Break with wild college kids, they decide that it’s worth it to be someplace warm. Rory heads home to get her bathing suit while Lorelai tries to make sure that she’ll be safe. She regrets never teaching Rory how to drink, so Rory suggests that they grab some quarters and get started.

Glenn, Paris, and Janet arrive in Glenn’s van, which Paris demands to drive. She explains to Rory that if she’s going to die in a car accident, it’s going to be her own fault. Lorelai gets Rory a seat up front by telling Glenn that she gets carsick; she really just wants Rory near the airbags. “Say a prayer for the road kill,” Paris says as they drive off. Late that night, Paris gets the group to their hotel in Florida three hours faster than the Internet directions told them it would take. She then quickly begins using money to get a better room and guys to carry their things. She explains to Rory that people usually make the mistake of tipping at the end of a trip, but if you tip at the beginning, employees won’t know when it will end and they’ll be less likely to steal from you. She tells Rory to claim a bed before their roommates come in and try to. The girls head back outside and Rory has a brief encounter with a guy. “In Burma, you’d be married…or brutally killed,” Paris tells her. She gives some money to a guy and asks him to buy her a soda, even though, as Rory points out, he doesn’t work there. (Paris thinks it’s just a matter of time.) Lorelai oversleeps at Digger’s and he tells her that he tried to wake her but she bit him. She takes her breakfast to go and is about to leave when he gives her a key to his apartment. They both try to play it off like it’s not a big deal.

Rory and Paris head to the beach, taken well care of by guys Paris has tipped. Paris plays Old Woman Who Keeps Finding Kids’ Toys in Her Yard and Won’t Give Them Back and she and Janet taunt each other, as usual. Madeline and Louise (last seen in “The Hobbit, the Sofa, and Digger Stiles”) appear and explain that they’ve been there for a month - they came for Tulane’s Spring Break and never left. They tell Paris and Rory the rules for Spring Break - always find each night’s hottest club, sleep in the afternoon to maximize partying, and find a way to get out of being carded at the clubs. (Apparently girls kissing each other get anything they want.) At 1:00, Louise and Madeline head off to go to bed, hitching a ride on a lifeguard truck. That night, Paris and Rory get pizza and rent The Power of Myth. Paris checks her messages, wondering if Asher has called her from his conference in Colorado. The girls start watching the video but realize that they’re pretty pathetic for doing so while everyone else is partying. They decide to start living it up the next day. The next day, the girls meet up with Madeline and Louise by the pool and watch guys battling with what Rory describes to Lorelai over the phone as giant Q-Tips. Rory gets distracted when she spots the guy she met earlier.

Madeline and Louise complain about a pair of twins they can’t seem to outdo, especially after the revelation that kissing gets you whatever you want. Paris encourages Rory to go talk to the guy, mostly so she can live vicariously through Rory. Paris is happy to hear that there’s a banana-eating contest because she’s been wanting real food. Rory makes small talk with the guy while Paris learns that the contest isn’t about eating bananas. That night, the two of them go to a club with Madeline and Louise. Louise and Madeline lick the hand of a guy with an over 21 stamp to copy the stamp onto their own hands. The girls listen to the Shins play and Paris and Rory try to figure out what to do. They start dancing and Paris spots Rory’s guy. The girls wonder why they’re the only ones there who don’t seem to be having fun. Paris announces that they need to try harder, then kisses Rory. Rory freaks and leaves, telling Paris, “Get away from me! You’re not my type.” Paris wants to know what she’s like as a kisser. The guy catches up to Rory and asks if she’s going outside. He was apparently very impressed by the kiss. Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai and Digger go to her house after a date and he tells her that he thinks he went about giving her the key in the wrong way. He admits that they’re at the point in their relationship where he would usually break things off, but he doesn’t want to do that this time. In fact, he wants Lorelai in his life even more. After Digger leaves, Lorelai checks her messages and gets one from Luke - he’s in jail and needs bail money.

In Florida, the four girls drink poolside and Paris tells Madeline and Louise that she’s dating a professor. “Well, Anna Nicole, look at you,” Louise teases. Paris worries that Asher didn’t ask her to go to Colorado with him because he’s planning to dump her. Madeline and Louise asks Rory whatever happened to Dean; she tells them that he got married. Louise doesn’t think it will last because Dean was so in love with Rory. After learning that Rory has Dean’s cell phone number, Madeline calls him and makes Rory talk to him. She leaves a slightly awkward message, then promises to kill the others. Lorelai takes Luke to Nicole’s apartment to get his truck, where he admits that he went over there to find out who the socks belonged to. He saw Nicole with another man, so he beat up the guy’s car, then got arrested for it. Luke is upset that he got jealous, but also because he wound up in jail and Nicole is still inside with the other man. He kicks the car again, calling the other man a “lying piece of sockless garbage.” Lorelai tells him that she’s sorry and that he doesn’t deserve this. Paris and Rory walk on the beach, tipsy, and decide that they’ve done everything they wanted to do. Paris decides that they should use frequent flier miles to get a flight home. They spot Glenn emerging from the ocean; he seems to have gone a little crazy. Back at school, Rory calls Lorelai, who is upset that she didn’t tell her she was leaving Florida early. She is happy, however, that Rory discovered her first hangover food. The conversation is interrupted when Dean calls Rory to ask her a number of questions about the message she left him.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “This is a turning point. You know how you have them, when even the angry voices in your head have to shut up for just a minute?” - Glenn

Student: “Is it raining?”
Paris: “No, it’s National Baptism Day.”

Glenn: “Cool tent! How’d we get it?”
Rory: “Stay ignorant, Glenn. It comes with the oppressive guilt of the ruling class.”

Paris: “Okay, we came.”
Rory: “Check.”
Paris: “We danced.”
Rory: “Check.”
Paris: “We drank.”
Rory: “Check.”
Paris: “We…threw up.”
Rory: “We didn’t throw up.”
Paris: “Give us ten more minutes.”

Rory: “We sat on the beach, went to a club, we watched The Power of Myth, Paris and I kissed….”
Lorelai: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You watched The Power of Myth?”

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