"The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino; directed by Stephen Clancy

At the inn, Sookie and Lorelai meet the horses they’re planning to keep there. Michel is uninterested. Lorelai tries to call Rory but has to leave a message on her voicemail. Tom updates the group on the inn’s progress and they try to figure out who can be there to accept a hardware shipment. The group gets their first call and takes their first reservation on a gum wrapper. Michel is embarrassed about the wrapper and says he’s going to get a value pack of gum for when things get really busy. At Yale, Rory leaves Lorelai a voicemail message, then plans to take a nap. Lane tells her that she was up too late the night before. Paris arrives and starts ragging on Janet’s boyfriend, making uncharacteristic comments about his size. Janet calls her a “bitter little woman” and adds that jealousy doesn’t look good on her. She thinks that Paris is upset because she drove Jamie away (see “Nag Hammadi is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels”), so now she hates anyone who has a boyfriend. Paris starts to announce that she does have a boyfriend but stops herself. After Janet leaves, Rory tells Paris that she’ll have to put up with Janet’s comments if she doesn’t want anyone to know about her and Asher. Rory borrows some notes from Paris so she can skip another class. Paris wonders if she just can’t be around boys because now she has a man.

Rory calls Lorelai again but Lorelai misses the call, only hearing the message that Rory is heading off to work as a card swiper in the cafeteria. Lorelai calls her back and has to leave a message for her. At work, Rory ignores students while she studies until Glenn notes that she’s supposed to be swiping cards. She decides that it’s easier if the students just swipe their own cards. She gets a call from Dean, who tells her that Tom has offered him a job work on his crew at the inn. He just wants to make sure that it’s okay with Rory if he accepts, since they might wind up being around each other. Rory assures him that it would be fine. Dean notes that Rory never showed up for his wedding (see “Chicken or Beef?”), thinking that it’s because he didn’t give her much notice. Dean has made some adult decisions lately, including creating a five-year plan and getting a cell phone; Rory stores his cell phone number in her phone. In Digger’s boyfriend, he and Lorelai both conduct business via cell phone, then get down to a different kind of business together. Lorelai’s phone rings again and she answers it, thinking it’s Rory, but it’s actually Emily. Lorelai starts putting her clothes back on as Emily tells her that Trix is returning from vacation and wants all of the Gilmores and Digger to get together for lunch. After she gets off the phone, Lorelai explains that she got dressed because she can’t talk to her mother while she’s naked.

At the inn, Lorelai tries to get an appointment for a haircut while Sookie raves about how big the pipes are in the kitchen. Lorelai runs into Dean and learns that he’s working with Tom. Tom tells the women that he likes them but has to tell them that some of their checks must not be getting through to him. Lorelai admits to Sookie that they haven’t been paying him as they should be. She assures Tom that she’s working on getting a line of credit; he promises to try to keep the crew going as long as he can. Sookie suggests that they cut some corners, though they can’t decide what to get rid of. Sookie brings up Luke, who has offered to help them out financially, but Lorelai isn’t sure she wants to ask him. They decide to think of another solution and keep him in mind as a last result. At Yale, Paris and Janet fight in the suite common room; Paris doesn’t want Janet’s boyfriend there. Janet taunts Paris again about being single. After she leaves, Lane tells Paris that things would be easier if she came clean about Asher. Paris isn’t happy to hear that Lane knows about him. In the cafeteria, Rory leaves another message for Lorelai. Paris arrives and blasts Rory for telling Lane about her and Asher; she doesn’t want Lane around anymore, since “she knows too much.” Rory promises that she didn’t tell anyone else, adding that Lane’s presence is just temporary. Paris reveals that Janet and Tana feel the same way as her, that Lane belongs back in Stars Hollow.

Back at the suite, Rory talks to Janet and Tana, who confirm that it’s weird for Lane to be staying with them. Janet says that she would rather have Lane stay than Paris, but she has no choice in the matter. In the bedroom, Lane figures out that Paris wants her gone and realizes that it’s time for her to go back to Stars Hollow. Rory wants Lane to stick around in some capacity, but Lane thinks she’s ready to go home. They reminisce about wanting to live together when they were kids and Lane promises to visit again. Lorelai gets her hair done, but in the middle of the appointment she gets a call that Sookie didn’t show up at the inn for her sink delivery. She calls Sookie and leaves a message, then calls Michel, who is too distracted by Celine Dion to be helpful. Lorelai heads to Sookie’s house and reminds her of the appointment. Lorelai says that for the past six weeks, she’s done everything necessary at the inn, and the one time she wanted to take a break and get her hair done, Sookie couldn’t pick up the slack. Sookie points out that she has maternal responsibilities, but Lorelai says that’s all she ever talks about. Lorelai notes that they’re trying to launch a business, but Sookie says that she didn’t think she’d be needed until after the inn opened. She promises that she’s doing the best she can, but it doesn’t seem to be good enough for Lorelai.

Lane heads back to Stars Hollow and asks Luke for her job back. He easily agrees. Lorelai arrives and Lane thanks her for letting her stay with her; she thought that Rory had called to tell Lorelai about the arrangements. Lorelai gets Rory’s message and tells Lane that she can stay with her as long as Mrs. Kim knows where she is. Luke complains to Lorelai that people eat too much at his diner; she replies that if he’s offended by this, he might be in the wrong business. Lorelai asks Luke to have dinner with her that night at a restaurant slightly nicer than the diner. Lane runs into Mrs. Kim on the street and tells her she’s staying with Lorelai. “Wear socks,” her mother replies. At Yale, Rory leaves Lorelai a message that she’s on her way to talk to a professor. The professor tells her that she may be overloading her schedule and suggests that she drop the course. Rory isn’t happy to hear this. Lorelai arrives at her parents’ house to find Emily jumpy after having to spend time alone with Trix. Richard and Digger arrive and Digger is immediately overwhelmed. He gives Trix a book on French antiques. Lorelai’s phone rings but Trix won’t let her answer it. She then encourages everyone to guess how long they’ll have to wait until lunch is served. At Yale, Rory tries again to reach Lorelai but gets her voicemail.

Digger catches Lorelai checking her messages in the library; she accuses him of trying to hide from Trix. “She is scarier than Nick Nolte’s mug shot,” he says. They head back to the others, where they discuss the inn. Trix can tell that Lorelai is having money problems and blasts Richard for letting it happen. She reminds him that she bailed him out of similar situations when he was younger. He stands up to her, pointing out that he’s now built two successful businesses without her help and doesn’t appreciate her reminding him that she once helped him out. Upset, Trix leaves. That evening, Rory heads to the inn, looking for Lorelai, and runs into Dean. Dean notices that she’s upset and comforts her as she cries and tells him that everything is falling apart. She says that she needs to talk to Lorelai because she doesn’t know what else to do. Downtown, Luke and Lorelai meet up and she tells him that she needs to reschedule their dinner. He notices that she seems upset, too, and she admits that as independent as she is, sometimes she wishes that she had a partner to help her out with things. She starts crying and says that things are falling apart. She adds that she was going to ask Luke for $30,000 at dinner, but now she doesn’t want to talk about because she feels like she’s failing. He comforts her and tells her she’s not failing. Back at Yale, Rory gets a message from Lorelai saying that nothing much is going on. At home, Lorelai gets a similar message from Rory.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him.” - Rory to Lorelai

Digger: “Is it like a superpower? She can hear naked people?”
Lorelai: “Yes, she can. She can hear sin and depravity and all sorts of lustful things.”
Digger: “Boy, do I wish I could get bitten by that radioactive spider.”

Lorelai: “Now, hug, no hug?”
Tom: “I’m kinda dirty. How about if you whistle at me later in front of the guys when I walk by? Drive ‘em nuts.”

Diner patron: “I’ve been waiting for ten minutes.”
Luke: “Sorry, not even close to the record.”

Trix: “You are very young.”
Digger: “Oh, no, no, no, not so young.”
Trix: “I think I know if someone is young or not.”
Emily: “For God’s sake, Jason, just be young.”

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