"New and Improved Lorelai"
Written and directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino

After a replay of the final moments of “A House is Not a Home” and Lorelai’s proposal to Luke, Lorelai starts to ask the question again and Luke immediately accepts. He assures her that he doesn’t need a minute to think about it. The two decide to do something to commemorate the moment and choose to toast. Unfortunately, Luke doesn’t have any alcohol, so Lorelai has to come up with a new plan. Luke asks if she really wants to do this now, since she was so upset just moments earlier, but she tells him that she just needs to be happy right now. Outside, Taylor is still upset that the bike race is ending late, so he announces that it’s over. Luke and Lorelai try to get into the market, which is closed, and Lorelai tells Taylor that they’re engaged. He agrees to let them in so they can find alcohol for their celebration. Unfortunately, the only thing inside is cheap champagne; apparently the bikers have bought up all the alcohol. Taylor remembers a case of Zima he has from back when Babette asked him to stock it, though Luke thinks they should just drive to Woodbridge to get something instead. Lorelai wants to celebrate now, so she chases some bikers away from the gazebo. Just as they’re about to drink, the lights go out. They yell for Taylor to turn them back on, then toast each other with Zima in the gazebo. In bed later that night, Luke tells a sleepy Lorelai that he’s open to whatever she wants to do in the future, whether or not it means having kids. He reveals that he bought Twickham’s house (then changed his mind), so if they want to live there and raise kids there together, they can. It takes a few moments, but Lorelai finally realizes that he bought a house without telling her. She does admit that having some kids might be nice.

In the morning, Luke treats his customers well because he’s in such a good mood. Miss Patty and Babette come in to congratulate him (they found out from someone named East Side Tilly) and ask for the story of the engagement. Luke reveals that Lorelai did the proposing. “You went modern,” Miss Patty notes. Outside, Lorelai spots a “for sale” sign on Twickham’s house and talks to the realtor. Richard calls Lorelai to tell her that he’s hired a lawyer for Rory named Charlie Davenport (apparently he once bought Lorelai a doll for her birthday). She declines to attend the first meeting but tells Richard to thank Charlie for the doll. The next morning, Emily wakes Rory up and starts talking about redecorating the pool house. Rory worries that Lorelai handled the news of her move badly, but Emily says that she was, as always, dramatic. Richard summons Rory to the meeting with Charlie via intercom, which she didn’t know existed. At the meeting, Richard and Charlie talk about Charlie’s past cases and the fact that he tends to get guilty people acquitted. He thinks that he can get Rory off with only some community service, since she’s a first-time offender with good character and a respectable family. Later, Paris comes over to the pool house, wanting to borrow something for her first time meeting Doyle’s family. She announces that she and Doyle have decided to move in together for the next year of school and invites Rory to live with them. Rory tells her that she’s not going back to Yale. Paris figures out what’s going on, and when Logan shows up, all she says is, “You.”

Kirk brings his collection of estate rings to the diner so Luke can buy an engagement ring for Lorelai. At first Luke doesn’t want to deal with him, but he finds a ring he thinks Lorelai would like. Kirk explains that he has so many rings because he has a habit of befriending old women. He says that he feels sympathy for Luke for having his thunder stolen by being proposed to; he’s now freaking out because he’s worried Lulu will propose to him before he can propose to her. Rory and Logan head to a bar, where a bunch of Logan’s friends greet them dressed in prison stripes. At Lorelai’s, Luke waits while she gets ready for their date. Paris shows up and blasts Lorelai for letting Rory drop out of school. Luke agrees with her that they need to do something to change Rory’s mind; Paris wants her at Yale to keep her motivated, since Rory is her biggest competition. (She’s also Paris’ only friend.) Lorelai gives Paris her cell phone number and tells her to call if she ever wants to talk. After Paris leaves, Luke asks Lorelai what she’s going to do about the Rory situation. Lorelai says that Rory is an adult and gets to make her own decisions. “Did you give Paris your real cell number?” he asks. At the bar, the LDB boys share tales of laziness, though apparently Logan can’t be topped. Rory promises to give him a run for his money this year, but Logan says he gives her one month before she’s back at school. She tells him that she’s reformed and is going to take each day as it comes from now on.

At the inn, Michel cleans up after some bikers and gives Lorelai a message from Emily that she’ll be picking up the rest of Rory’s things later. When Emily shows up at the house, she’s greeted by Michel, who was sent over to let her in. She’s upset that Lorelai didn’t show up or pack anything, and Michel is upset that he’s being treated like a dog. Rory, Emily, Richard, and Charlie head to court, where the judge announces that she’s not going to go easy on a spoiled little rich girl who goes to Yale. She sentences Rory to 300 hours of community service to be completed in six months. Richard gets angry and insults Charlie. Rory asks if Richard told Lorelai about her court date, since she never showed up. Lorelai arrives home to find that Emily has left her dozens of notes around the house, as well as an angry answering machine message. Lorelai packs up a bunch of Rory’s things and takes them to her parents’ house in the middle of the night. Emily thinks she hates them because of what happened, but Lorelai says that she’s not surprised by Emily’s actions, since they were exactly her nature. She says that they now get their do-over child, “a new and improved Lorelai” for them to raise how they want. Richard says that they were just trying to do the right thing and they want Lorelai’s input and involvement. Lorelai replies that her involvement is over. At the diner, Kirk bugs Luke for the engagement ring, which he thinks is the one Lulu really liked. Babette runs up, upset over the rumor she’s heard that Lorelai and Rory have had a big fight. Luke tries to reassure her that Lorelai is taking care of things. Babette is exhausted from running and Kirk admires her ring. At home, Lorelai sits in Rory’s now-empty room and starts to cry. She stops when Luke announces that the moon is full, then goes outside to get her engagement ring.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Taylor: “Oh, who cares about giving out the trophies? There’s no one here to see the winners get them, except the losers, who I’m sure could give a rat’s tushie if the winners get a trophy or not!”
Assistant: “Okay, so do I put them back in the bubble wrap, or--.”
Taylor: “Just - just give it to me. Hey, who was first?”
Biker #1: “Here.”
Taylor: (tosses him the trophy) “Congratulations. Who’s second?”
Biker #2: “Right here.”
Taylor: “Here.” (tosses him the trophy) “Third.” (he hands the last trophy to a biker)
Biker #3: “I wasn’t third.”
Taylor: “Rat’s tushie, party of one.”

Lorelai: “We need something to toast this moment with.”
Taylor: “Something alcoholic?”
Lorelai: “Yes.”
Taylor: “You know, Lorelai, if you feel that you have to be drunk to be with him….”

Babette: “Yeah, Morey proposed to me spontaneously. Did I ever tell you the story?”
Luke: “Uh, no.”
Babette: “It was a brisk fall night, and Morey was on top. No, wait, I was on top.”
Luke: “What?”
Babette: “Hold on, Stoney Morrison was on top.”
Luke: “Babette!”
Babette: “We were playing Twister! Did I not mention that?”

Paris: (re: Doyle) “He’s the tallest one in the family.”
Rory: “Really?”
Paris: “Yep. Family get-together is like a Lollipop Guild convention. I have to stop myself from asking how it’s going at the chocolate factory.”

Emily: “Where are Rory’s good clothes?”
Michel: “I don’t know, but I will continue to search for them frantically.”
Emily: “Are you just going to sit there?”
Michel: “I was instructed to stay until you leave.”
Emily: “Like I need to be watched. Like I’m a meth head stealing a television set to support my habit. Well, this is completely unacceptable! Rory needs something to wear to court!”
Michel: “I’m sorry, if you’re talking to me, you’ll have to do it in woofs.”
Emily: “You’ve been working with my daughter way too long.”
Michel: “Don’t I know it.”


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