"Run Away, Little Boy"
Written by John Stephens; directed by Danny Leiner

Lorelai returns home from the video store, having rented The Shining and Bringing Up Baby. Sookie and Rory reveal that she’s received a wedding gift, since apparently not everyone has heard that the wedding is off (see “The Road Trip to Harvard”). Sookie asks if she’s going to open it, but Lorelai says she’ll return it tomorrow. Rory says that there’s no return address, so she’s stuck with it. Lorelai relents and discovers that the gift is an ice cream maker. Sookie is excited, since it’s a good one, and says that they can make cider ice cream with Jackson’s new apple crop. Lorelai says that they’ll have to use Jackson’s ice cream maker, since she’s sending this one back. Rory and Sookie try to convince her that it’s an orphan and that presents that arrive after a certain date don’t have to be returned. Lorelai worries that the decision will come back to haunt her and announces that the discussion is over. “I bet Max would let us keep it,” Sookie comments after Lorelai leaves the room. At Chilton, a teacher tells her class that they’ll be assigned different acts of Romeo and Juliet to act out however they want. Madeline, Louise, Paris, and Rory all wind up with act five. In the hallway, Henry asks Rory to tell Lane that he’ll call her that night at eight. Paris pulls her away from the conversation to meet with the rest of the group about getting together for their project. Louise spots Tristan (last seen in “Love, Daisies, and Troubadours”), who is back from suspension for disassembling a teacher’s car and putting it back together in the science building. Paris thinks that he deserved the suspension for hanging out with his co-conspirators.

At home, Lorelai calls crazy relatives to try to figure out who sent her the ice cream maker. Rory returns home and Lorelai tells her that, frighteningly enough, her parents are looking more and more normal. Rory tells her that she, Paris, Madeline, and Louise are doing a project together and Paris has made herself the director. Rory doesn’t know which part she’s playing because Paris is still going over screen tests. (Rory’s took 24 takes.) Lorelai wants to sell the tape on the Internet. Rory reveals that she told Paris that Lorelai would make all of their costumes; Paris wants to have a concept meeting with her and go over referrals, samples, and a résumé. Henry calls and Rory puts him on a conference call with Lane. Mrs. Kim almost keeps her from taking the call, but Lane manages to get five minutes in which she pretends that she’s talking to Rory. Lorelai asks Rory to make some calls for her about the ice cream maker, but Rory thinks she’s going too far to find out who sent it. Lorelai says that she wants closure. During a break at her business class, Lorelai discusses the vending machine with a classmate named Paul. He borrows her notes, as he does every week, and then asks Lorelai out to dinner in order to pay her back. She declines the offer but accepts his business card. At Chilton, Rory, Madeline, and Louise arrive for their first group meeting, along with a guy from another class, Brad (Adam Wylie). Paris arrives and announces that they’re doing the act traditionally. She adds that she wants everyone read about acting and be off book in a week. Paris assigns the role of Romeo to Brad, since he’s the only boy, and gives Louise the part of the friar. Tristan arrives and announces that he’s chosen to join their group, since it’s the only one that doesn’t hold one of his exes.

Louise decides that Tristan can be Romeo instead, but Paris refuses. Louise points out that this project is a major part of their grade and the group learns that Brad isn’t great speaking in front of crowds. Paris finally relents but warns Tristan to take the assignment seriously. Louise says that Brad can be the friar, which will allow her to be Juliet. Paris shoots down that idea by pointing out that Juliet is supposed to be chaste. Madeline starts to volunteer but backs out when she finds out that Juliet has more than three lines. This leaves the role to Rory, who’s not thrilled. At the inn, Sookie brings Michel blueberry pancakes but he tells her he can’t eat them if there are more than 12 blueberries. She tries to make him swear on Destiny’s Child that he won’t count. Lorelai brings in the ice cream maker and announces that she’s donating it to the inn. Sookie tells her that they actually don’t need it, since they have a professional ice cream maker who can make it for the entire inn. Lorelai doesn’t want “Fernando” at home, since it reminds her of another life she almost had, so Sookie says that she could put her change in it. She says that she’s concerned about how emotional Lorelai is over the ice cream maker (since she’s named it and everything) and wonders if Lorelai has moved on from Max. Lorelai tells her that she was just asked out the other night, though she admits that she said no. Sookie tells her that she can have a pre-transition guy if she’s not ready for a transition guy, so Lorelai decides to give Paul a call. Michel returns to get the pancakes, but Sookie won’t give them to him.

At home, Lorelai works on the costumes for Rory’s group as Rory talks on the phone with Lane. She’s surprised that Lane’s mother is letting her go see Henry’s group’s performance; Lane explains that she showed Mrs. Kim the Leonardo DiCaprio/Claire Danes Romeo + Juliet. Mrs. Kim turned it into a cautionary tale of what happens when teens disobey their parents. Lane still hasn’t told her parents about Henry, though, because she knows that whether they like him or not, things will change. Rory gets a call from Paris, who complains that other groups are meeting in the Great Hall, where their group wanted to rehearse. She explains that she found a website, misspatty.net, and knows that Miss Patty’s studio is big enough for the group. Rory says that she wants to keep her school life and her home life separate, but the group is already on its way to Stars Hollow. Rory tells Lorelai that things will be awkward, since Tristan is in the group and Dean will be nearby. She decides that she has to tell Dean that she and Tristan kissed (see “The Breakup, Part 2”). If she doesn’t, she thinks Tristan will and it will look like Rory was keeping the truth from Dean. Lorelai tries to convince her that Dean will kill Tristan during the play and the group will get an A. She tells Rory to practice giving the news, which Rory does, mentioning a few times that she and Dean were broken up at the time of the kiss. Lorelai, pretending to be Dean, points out that they kissed the night after Dean professed his love for Rory. Rory realizes that she’s a horrible person and Lorelai tells her that she shouldn’t tell Dean after all. She makes fun of Dean’s hair, then goes to her business class.

Paris arrives at Miss Patty’s and complains that her class is still there, even though it’s 8:04 and the group was supposed to meet at 8. Miss Patty tells her to be careful or her face will freeze like that. Rory, Louise, Madeline, and Brad arrive and Rory learns that Tristan has gone over to Doose’s Market. Rory decides to head over to make sure that Tristan and Dean don’t meet up again (see “Rory’s Dance”). Unfortunately, she’s too late, and Tristan tells Dean that he’s in Stars Hollow because of Rory. He mentions that they’re doing Romeo and Juliet and takes glee in the fact that Rory hasn’t told Dean about the project. Rory shows up and drags Dean outside, apologizing for not telling him about the project earlier. Dean doesn’t like that they’re working together, but Rory tells him that it will be over by Sunday. She apologizes and he tells her that it’s not her fault, since she didn’t choose to be put in a group with Tristan. Later, Rory meets up with Lorelai at Luke’s, surprised that she’s there, since she was supposed to go out to dinner with Paul. Lorelai explains that she and Paul had nothing in common, but she’s glad she went out with him, because it was nice to date again. She adds that it was a casual date, which officially makes her a casual dater. Rory tells her that the rehearsal didn’t go too badly, but Dean and Tristan did run into each other. Dean joins the girls and Rory tells him that Lorelai casually dated tonight. Dean suggests that he come see Rory’s rehearsal the next night, but Rory tells him to just wait until the performance on Sunday. He talks her into letting him come to the rehearsal anyway.

At Chilton, Rory tells Tristan that Dean is coming to the rehearsal and she wants Tristan to promise not to tell him about their kiss. He teases her a little, then agrees not to say anything. However, he thinks that when Dean sees their kiss onstage, he’ll figure out that it’s not their first. Rory asks him not to screw things up with her relationship, since they’re going so well. She asks Tristan how things are going for him, since what caused his suspension didn’t seem like something he would do, or at least get caught for. She encourages him not to hang out with his co-conspirators anymore, but Tristan doesn’t want to have that discussion with her. Before the rehearsal, Rory and Lorelai eat at Luke’s and Rory worries about what will happen. Paul appears with his parents, who he introduces to Lorelai. Rory learns that he was Lorelai’s date from the other night. Rory meets Paul and Paul meets Luke, who he’s heard a lot about and, in turn, told his parents about. Rory thinks the whole situation is amusing. After Paul and his parents leave, Rory comments, “I’ve always wanted a little brother.” Lorelai claims that he looked older the other night and Rory wonders if his parents let him ride a pony. Luke approaches and Lorelai wonders if he’s going to tease her, too. He tells her he won’t, then asks a couple of kids to move away from her, since they’re making him nervous. As Lorelai leaves, Luke asks her if she has an age cutoff and suggests that she use a height bar, like at an amusement park.

At Miss Patty’s, Rory and Tristan rehearse their death scene, but Tristan keeps rubbing the upcoming kiss in Dean’s face. Paris threatens to replace him with Brad, who hates that idea. As they reach the kiss, Tristan tells Rory that this makes him think of their first kiss. He pretends that he’s talking about the kiss from the first act and tries to come up with something that will make this one as special as that one. He thinks that she should cry, even though she’s supposed to be dead, since no one would expect it. Dean speaks up that he would. During a break, Dean complains to Rory about Tristan and she asks him to leave, since he’s making Tristan act up. After Dean goes, Rory blasts Tristan for his behavior and says that he makes it impossible for anyone to be nice to him. Tristan winds up walking out on rehearsal. At Luke’s, Lorelai and Sookie discuss Rory’s performance and invite Luke to come see it with them. He says that he can’t come but tells Lorelai to “bring plenty of baseball cards to pass out [her] phone number on.” Miss Patty shows up and calls Lorelai naughty, which leads her to have to defend herself. Sookie tells her that the town likes to tease and points out that Paul did look young. (She didn’t meet him, but she saw pictures that Kirk took of him.) Lorelai follows Luke behind the counter and asks why he ended their sparring match so quickly. She thinks he’s being mean, but he tells her that she can live her life however she wants.

At Chilton, a group performs the second act of Romeo and Juliet as cavemen. Rory tells Lane that while Henry is on stage, she might want to hold a phone to her face so that he’ll recognize her. Paris drags Rory into a hallway and tells her that Tristan isn’t there. She worries that they’ll fail and she won’t be able to get into Harvard. In the Great Hall, Lane watches Henry’s group, which is doing act three as businessmen on cell phones. In the hallway, Paris says that they can’t use Brad as Romeo because he changed schools. Tristan finally shows up and says that his father pulled him out of Chilton because he and some friends broke into a friend’s father’s safe. He’s heading for military school in North Carolina and thinks that Rory will be relieved that he’s leaving. Tristan’s father calls him away and Tristan decides not to kiss Rory goodbye, since Dean is nearby. Paris returns, dressed as Romeo, and tells Rory that she “better start sucking on an Altoid.” After the performances, Sookie tells Lorelai that she feels smarter now and wants to go to a museum or play chess. Lorelai is still upset about what happened with Luke earlier; sometimes he’s sweet to her and sometimes he’s a jerk for no reason. Sookie tells her that he definitely has a reason - he’s in love with her. He’s not happy with having to watch her date different guys, including a kid younger than her, and he must wonder if she’ll ever give him a chance. Lorelai, Rory, Sookie, and Dean head to Luke’s, where Dean wants to know if Rory and Paris actually kissed onstage. Rory says that a lady never kisses and tells. Lorelai asks Luke if he’s good at dating and they both say that they’re not. She tells him that there are a few people in her life who are permanent, who will always be there for her and vice versa - Rory, Sookie, the people in Stars Hollow, and Luke. Luke confirms that this is still the case and the two start discussing the performances.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Brad

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Paul: “You know, ever since we were children, we got our nourishment from our mothers.”
Lorelai: “Okay, are you trying to gross me out so I can’t eat my burrito?”
Paul: “And now we’re getting it from machines.”
Lorelai: “Your point being?”
Paul: “I think it’s a conspiracy getting us ready for the day we’re all gonna be raised by machines. No human contact whatsoever.”
Lorelai: “You know my mother, don’t you?”

Michel: “I can only have 12 blueberries for breakfast.”
Sookie: “Or what?”
Michel: “What do you mean, or what?”
Sookie: “What happens if you eat 13 blueberries?”
Michel: “Well, this is a silly conversation.”
Sookie: “Would you die?”
Michel: “Just hand me the plate.”
Sookie: “Only if you don’t count.”
Michel: “I won’t count.”
Sookie: “Swear. Raise your right hand and say, ‘May Destiny’s Child break up if I count these blueberries.’”
Michel: “Pick another group.”
Sookie: “Nope.”
Michel: “I hate you! Hate you!”

Lorelai: “Remember that Meryl Streep movie where she and her family take a rafting trip and then psycho Kevin Bacon forces them to take ‘em down the river?”
Rory: “Yeah.”
Lorelai: “Okay, that’s his dream vacation, minus Kevin Bacon.”
Rory: “Wow.”
Lorelai: “Whereas mine is Kevin Bacon, minus the river, so….”


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