"The Lorelais’ First Day at Yale"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Chris Long

Rory is packing her things for college and complaining to Lorelai that she has too much stuff. She blames Lorelai for turning her into a rampant consumer. “It used to be a touch of mascara, dab of Coppertone, zip, bam, boom, out the door,” she says. “I heard ‘copper’ and ‘boom,’” Lorelai replies. She looks for a camera, determined to document every meaningful event in Rory’s life. Rory wonders if Luke knows that Lorelai can’t drive stick, since she borrowed his truck. Lorelai takes a photo but is unhappy because it looks posed. She suggests things they could do to make the photo look candid; this leads to a discussion about whether certain famous people are dead. Before they leave for Yale, Rory stops by the diner, explaining to Luke that Lorelai is struggling to keep control of his truck. (She had to drive in reverse all the way to the diner.) Luke goes out to talk to her and she complains that the truck is misogynistic. Luke decides that she can’t borrow it after all, saying that she should have hired movers. Luke changes his mind but wants the truck back by 4. He’s not in a very good mood since he’s having to deal with his divorce (see “Ballroom and Biscotti”). Inside, Rory shares her new Yale special with Lorelai, sausage wrapped in pancakes and tied with bacon.

Luke draws a diagram for Lorelai so she can drive the truck. As the girls leave, Nicole’s attorney arrives and Luke tells him that he just wants to sign the papers and move things along. He taunts the lawyer and finally gets him to leave. Lorelai returns, complaining that the diagram is wrong, and Luke lets her know that she was looking at it upside down. The girls arrive at Yale and meet Rory’s RA, Tess, while Lorelai takes more pictures. Rory has memorized the orientation schedule and brought her own mattress with her. Tess says that that’s fine, as long as the girls can dispose of the one already in Rory’s room. As the girls head to the room, Rory bugs Lorelai about her arrangements for getting rid of the old mattress. Lorelai finally admits that she doesn’t have a plan and they’ll just have to throw the mattress out. They arrive at Rory’s suite as Rory complains that her map ripped and she doesn’t have the Old Campus anymore. She’s so distracted by unimportant things that Lorelai takes her back into the hallway and makes her enter her room again to really see it. Later, Rory takes her freshman tour and gets her photo taken for her ID, which she doesn’t get a chance to prepare for. Back in her suite, Lorelai tells her about the horrors she learned about at the parent orientation. Rory meets her suitemate Tana Schreck (Olivia Hack), who is not yet 16 and a little socially awkward. She’s relieved to hear that Rory is nervous about college, too.

Lorelai and Rory finally have to say goodbye to each other but Lorelai thinks of a bunch of things Rory needs and says she’ll be back. “Copper boom!” the girls say to each other. Lorelai heads back to Stars Hollow, where three of Nicole’s lawyers are at the diner, bugging Luke about a settlement. The lawyers warn that if Luke doesn’t hire a lawyer, he’ll get nothing in the divorce. Luke replies that he doesn’t want anything. He asks Lorelai to vouch for him, but the lawyers don’t care what she has to say. Luke tells the lawyers that all he wants is to have back the three hours he spent on the cruise listening to a guy play glasses. After the lawyers leave, Lorelai points out to Luke that she has his truck back in time, though now she needs to use it again. He asks why the mattress is still there and she explains that this is the “Yale-supplied mattress.” She asks Luke to store it for her but he refuses. The argument gets stuck when Luke says that he wants the truck but not the mattress, so if Lorelai wants the truck, she has to take the mattress as well. At Yale, Tana tells Rory that one of their two other suitemates has arrived. Tana can’t remember her name, but it’s the name of a city. Rory immediately recognizes the girl’s voice - it’s Paris. Paris checks with the man with her before giving Rory a hug; she introduces the man as Terrence, her life coach. Paris explains that her father made arrangements for her and Rory to be suitemates.

Luke and Lorelai arrive at Yale and try to figure out what to do with the mattress. Lorelai is as surprised as Rory to see that Paris is in the suite. Luke tries to bring the mattress in, saying that he had to because Tess was watching him. Lorelai starts offering money to students to get rid of the mattress. Later, Lorelai and Rory say goodbye again and Lorelai and Luke head back to Stars Hollow. When they get back to town, Rory pages Lorelai and asks her to come back. Lorelai throws Luke out of the truck so she can go back to Yale. When she arrives, Rory says that she may be an adult but she wants her mom. She rants about how she wasn’t socialized properly and will want Lorelai with her when she’s a journalist and reporting from Tehran. Rory wonders how she let her grandparents manipulate her into going to Yale instead of Harvard. She then complains about her ID, which has a horrible picture and the wrong name. Lorelai says that she can stay all night; Rory says she doesn’t want to seem that pathetic, but she does want Lorelai to stay. Later, the girls try a bunch of different food from different takeout places, organizing them in geographic order. Apparently they’re recording speed of service, cuteness of the delivery guys, and the quality of the food. They have a ton of food, so Lorelai yells for other girls in the dorm to come in.

Later, Lorelai notes how many girls are there, having fun together. She wants to use a hairbrush as a microphone and sing Motown songs. Later that night, Paris talks to Jamie on the phone, then tells Rory that if she can help it, he’ll never meet Terrence. (Jamie seems to think something’s going on between him and Paris.) Rory and Lorelai banter about who gets to sleep on which mattress. Lorelai reveals that she found good coffee at a kiosk by the library. She offers to circle it on Rory’s map. A guy on another hall starts howling, so Lorelai howls back, thinking that he’ll never stop if she doesn’t respond. Instead, more guys join in, so Rory starts howling as well. The next morning, Rory decides to walk around campus for a little while before the freshman assembly. Lorelai is shocked by Paris’ craft corner and tells Rory that it’s not safe to leave anything around Paris now. “Maybe that’s where ‘crafty’ comes from,” Rory says. The girls say goodbye yet again and Lorelai heads back to Stars Hollow two hours after she was supposed to have Luke’s truck back to him. At the diner, Luke tells her that he said he needed the truck back three hours before he really needed it back. Unfortunately for him, the Yale-supplied mattress is still in it. Back at school, a couple of girls have turned Lorelai’s name into a verb meaning to scout out places for the best food and beverages. They thank Rory for helping to give them a memorable first night at school. Lorelai heads to her now-empty house and looks around the living room.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Tana

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Tana: “In medieval times, surnames often reflected a person’s origin or occupation, so they were descriptive as well as utilitarian.”
Paris: “And what does Tana mean?”
Tana: “Nothing.”
Paris: “We’re gonna have some fun this year.”

“It’s going to be very hard to be Christiane Amanpour broadcasting live from a foxhole in Tehran with my mommy. I guess you’re just gonna have to learn how to operate a camera ‘cause I’ll need you there with me.” - Rory to Lorelai

Rory: (in a French accent) “We smirk in your general direction.”
Lorelai: (in a French accent) “We cast sidelong glances that are vague but slightly threatening.”
Rory: (in a French accent) “We eschew your quaint double entendre for the appealing lasciviousness of the entendre singular.”
Lorelai: “We…eh…I’m out.”


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