"Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days"
Written and directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino

Lorelai is woken up by her alarm clock, then disturbed by a bunch more of them. She’s not amused. She goes downstairs, where Luke is cooking breakfast in the kitchen, and tells him that she didn’t really want to get up at 7, she just wanted the option. She accuses him of switching her regular coffee for decaf; he challenges her to go an entire day without coffee. Luke starts to leave, having taken care of Lorelai; he kisses her goodbye and says goodbye to her stomach. He wants to name their apparent twins Sid and Nancy, but Lorelai has changed her mind to Leopold and Loeb. Luke asks her to drink decaf so the babies won’t have two heads. As Luke leaves and Lorelai looks happy, she wakes up from her dream and reaches for the phone, falling out of bed. She calls Rory, who’s in Washington with Paris (see “I Can’t Get Started”), and tells her that she has to come home. Rory realizes that she had another dream and tells her she’s ready to listen to it. Lorelai tells her everything and, upon learning that Lorelai was pregnant in the dream, Rory comments, “You are going to be so fat.” She says that the dream means that Lorelai is secretly in love with Luke and wants to marry him and have his children. Lorelai rejects the analysis, demanding another one unless Rory wants her to reinterpret the dream she had about Taylor hula-hooping. (Rory claims that Taylor was supposed to be Dean, judging from the hair.)

Rory thinks that Lorelai is still upset about what happened with Christopher and Sherry (see “I Can’t Get Started”). Paris talks in her sleep about Woodward and Bernstein and Rory says that she’s glad she only has one more day before she gets to go back to Stars Hollow. She hands up and goes to her desk, where she works on a letter to Jess. In the morning, Lorelai eats breakfast at Sookie’s, enjoying the kosher bacon. Jackson approaches and Sookie warns him that Lorelai is there, in case he’s undressed, as he was one time when Lorelai was there. Sookie asks Jackson to look at paint chips so they can repaint inside the house; Sookie wants it to feel like it belongs to both of them rather than just her. Jackson is fine with the way the house is now, even though Sookie thinks it’s too girly for him. After he leaves, Lorelai tries to convince Sookie to listen to Jackson, but she still wants to make the house a little more “butch.” Downtown, Lorelai runs into a wheelchair-bound Taylor, who’s organizing for a festival. (Someone put a banana peel on his doorstep.) He explains that he’s setting up the first annual Stars Hollow End of Summer Madness Festival. Lorelai thinks he was just looking for something to do in September. He’s excited about all of the work he put into the festival. After he leaves, Lorelai looks sadly at Luke’s Diner.

Paris chats with Senator Barbara Boxer at a Junior Leadership breakfast; Senator Boxer wants an escape and makes Republican Congressman Doug Ose talk to her instead. Rory talks with a guy named Jamie (Brandon Barash), who asks about Paris. Paris joins them and Jamie mentions that the two of them are on the same side of their final debate that day. He wants to meet up early so they can go over their strategy, then get together and celebrate with dinner afterwards. Paris doesn’t get the hint and wonders what happens if they don’t win. After Jamie leaves, Rory has to tell Paris that Jamie just asked her on a date. Paris is surprised that she’s been asked out and wished she hadn’t missed it. Rory assures her that it was a good “ask-out.” Paris repeats to herself that she’s going on a date with a guy who goes to Princeton. At the inn, Kirk and Michel discuss cows. Lorelai joins them and Kirk announces that he’s discovered the secret of cows - hay. He has invented a skin care product called “Hay There” that uses hay to help smooth skin. Lorelai points out that cows eat grass, but Kirk doesn’t think that “Grass There” would have had the same ring. Emily calls, upset that Lorelai didn’t call when she and Richard got home from Martha’s Vineyard. Lorelai argues that she didn’t know what time they were getting in, then gives up and just apologizes. She then gets Rory out of Friday night dinner. Emily asks after Christopher and Lorelai doesn’t tell her that they’re not together.

Paris gets ready for her date while Rory talks to Dean on the phone. Paris asks Rory to stop being cute with her boyfriend and help her figure out what to wear. Rory tells Dean about Paris’ date and Paris intuits that he’s surprised. Rory gets off the phone and discusses restaurant picking with Paris, who doesn’t want to go into the date without being prepared. She worries that Jamie only asked her out because Trent Lott dared him to. Rory assures her that things will be all right, but Paris wants to know immediately if Jamie is Mr. Right. They talk about compatibility until Jamie arrives. Paris makes Rory hide in the closet so she doesn’t entice Jamie. Rory agrees to, telling Paris that she needs a new therapist. Paris realizes that Jamie is the perfect guy for her when he mentions that he found the restaurant they’re going to in Zagat’s. In the closet, Rory keeps working on her letter to Jess. Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai and Sookie look around Kim’s Antiques and Sookie tells Lorelai that she needs to tell her parents she and Christopher aren’t getting back together. Sookie finds a shaving table she likes and learns that it belonged to General Sherman. She then finds an antique stuffed and mounted trout, which Lorelai calls Leon Troutsky. She tells Sookie that she doesn’t have to buy anything yet, then leaves to get Rory at the airport. On her way out, she offers Mrs. Kim $10 not to let Sookie buy the fish. Mrs. Kim agrees to do so for $20.

Rory and Lorelai reunite at the airport, falling on the ground with all of their stuff. Lorelai has bought a bunch of stuff for Rory, since she got to the airport early and could only amuse herself by giving gummy bears to the bomb-sniffing dogs. She gives Rory a bunch of things that say Connecticut on them. She adds that she got Rory out of dinner by telling Richard and Emily that she wasn’t coming back until the next day. The girls head home, where Rory learns that Lorelai stole her pillow and a couple other things. Lorelai checks the answering machine and immediately deletes a message from Christopher. He’s called both girls over the summer but neither has talked to him. Lorelai isn’t sure how long she’s going to freeze him out, but she’s decided to tell Richard and Emily at dinner that she’s not with him anymore. Rory changes for the festival, though Lorelai says she doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to. Rory wants to support the town and dress up to make a nice impression. Lorelai tells her that she doesn’t have to freeze Christopher out just because of her. Rory pledges solidarity, leading Lorelai to shout, “Ya ya!” which she’s been waiting all summer to do. Lorelai shows Rory the new shortcuts she’s been using around town, admitting that she was really bored without Rory around. They head to Sookie and Jackson’s house, where the couple is fighting about Sookie’s misguided attempts to make the house look more masculine. The girls decide not to interrupt and head for the festival.

At the End of Summer Madness Festival (at which “Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer” plays ad nauseam), Lorelai runs into Kirk, who wants to know if she’s used Hay There yet. He’s glad that she hasn’t, since the cream has been showing some weird reactions to light, air, and movement with continued use. He suggests that Lorelai get rid of the three cases at the inn, but the only way he can think of to do it safely and legally is to shoot it into space. “Do you sometimes think this town is weird, or is it just me?” Lorelai asks Rory. The girls encounter Taylor, who thinks Lorelai is being sarcastic when she says that she likes the band playing. Rory spots Jess kissing a girl, Shane (Jessica Kiper), and Lorelai says that it’s probably a good thing Rory didn’t throw everything away for him. Rory claims that she’s not upset, then admits that she kissed Jess at Sookie’s wedding (again, see “I Can’t Get Started”). Lorelai notes that Rory went to the wedding with Dean, then kissed another guy. She says that Rory needs to make up her mind and pick a guy already, since she’s not treating Dean very well right now. Rory gets upset that she’s been accused of not being perfect and says that she doesn’t want to have this conversation anymore. Dean arrives and Lorelai heads off to Friday night dinner. Rory pretends that she and Lorelai weren’t discussing anything interesting.

Lorelai arrives at her parents’ house and announces that she needs to tell Emily something. She wants to talk by the door, but Emily wants her to come inside. Lorelai gets her parents to come out to the patio, but they decide to give her gifts from their trip first. Emily gives her scone mix, which Lorelai says she’ll put on the counter and stare at. Lorelai finally gets to tell them that she and Christopher aren’t together anymore. Emily is upset that Lorelai never shows any responsibility and has such a short attention span, especially when it comes to men. Richard tries to play peacemaker, but Emily wants a reason why Lorelai and Christopher aren’t together. Lorelai informs her that Sherry is pregnant and Christopher has gone back to her. Emily thinks that Christopher should have stayed with Lorelai, since he already has a family with her and he barely knows Sherry. She tells Lorelai to talk to him and tell him that she wants to get married. Richard says that Lorelai won’t do it unless she wants to, and they have to let Christopher be responsible for once. Emily is shocked that Richard is supporting this, but he’s surprised that she thinks Lorelai and Christopher would actually work out. Emily calls Richard an idiot and he decides to leave the table. Lorelai escapes the house while her parents keep fighting.

Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai goes to Luke’s, telling him to pretend she’s a new customer, Mimi, who just wants a cup of coffee. She gets herself some coffee and says that this is the second time she’s let herself think she’s finally found love, safety, and comfort. (First was with Max, then with Christopher.) She always thought that when she and Christopher grew up they might be able to be a family. Christopher did grow up and get it together, but he’s off to be a family with other people, so Lorelai is stuck where she was before. Luke asks if that’s so bad, since she has a daughter and a good life. She says that she’s lucky, but she feels like she’s never going to have “the whole package.” Luke gives her a donut and assures her that she’ll get it. Lorelai asks how he knows; he says he just does. He makes her take the donut with her because she’ll be hungry later. She starts to pay, but he tells her that first-time customers eat on the house. He hopes to see “Mimi” again. Lorelai and Rory meet up at home and Lorelai says that she’s figured out how to get “Those Lazy Crazy Hazy Days of Summer” out of their heads - sing “It’s a Small World.” She apologizes for their fight and Rory acknowledges that she was right. They ask each other about dinner and Dean, neither of them answering. Lorelai admits that dinner was bad, but the good news is that she made up with Luke, so they can go back to the diner. Rory says that she’s going to start appreciating Dean, assuring Lorelai that it’s not just because of her. They both decide that they’re good. Lorelai wonders if Christopher and Sherry’s baby will look like her, then gets the donut from her purse, since she’s hungry.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Jamie, Shane

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Dream Lorelai: “Okay, see, last night, when I said to you, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at 7,’ what I actually meant was, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up at 7 in case, when 7 comes, I actually wanna get up,’ which, as it happened, I didn’t. Therefore, you’re currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.”
Dream Luke: “No survivors?”
Dream Lorelai: “The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation.”

Dream Lorelai: “Oh, hey, we need Q-tips.”
Dream Luke: “I’ll alert the media.”
Dream Lorelai: “See, that’s better with the accent.”

“So sad not to have a cocktail in your hand every time he comes by, no?” - Michel, re: Kirk

“For example, I can instantly deduce that when someone hears the name Paris in the same sentence with the word date, jaws will drop, confused looks will cover faces, words like ‘how’ and ‘why’ and ‘quick, Bob, get the children in the minivan because the world is obviously coming to an end!’ will immediately fly out of people’s mouths.” - Paris

Paris: “I mean, what if I fall for him and he doesn’t like me?”
Rory: “Then you’ll find someone else.”
Paris: “But what if there is no one else?”
Rory: “Then you’ll buy some cats.”

Jamie: “You look very nice.”
Paris: “Well, this is a really good sweater.”

Rory: “You got in trouble with the government while you were waiting for me?”
Lorelai: “Just a little.”
Rory: “How much is a little?”
Lorelai: “Learn Russian.”

Rory: “Hello, living room.”
Lorelai: “Hello, Rory, we missed you. Not the ottoman, of course, but everyone knows he’s a snob. Napoleon complex. He only really likes the magazine rack.”


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