"Farewell, My Pet"
Written by Jennie Snyder; directed by Jamie Babbit

Lorelai, Rory, and Emily take a walk through the hospital with Richard (see “I’d Rather Be in Philadelphia”), Lorelai and Rory trying to get him to compete with another patient. Emily is embarrassed by them pretending to be a cheering crowd and interviewers. They’ve also gotten to know some of the other patients and say hello to them. Emily complains that she’s tired of people sending them white flowers because no one died. She finally gets interested in the conversation when Lorelai brings up some gossip about another patient. Rory is supposed to go back to school (as well as tell Richard how his replacement teacher does), but she wants to wait another week to spend more time with the family, since she’s only missed two days of classes. Her mother and grandparents say no way, and Lorelai tries to assure Rory that Richard will be fine. Rory doesn’t want Lorelai to have to go home alone, since Christopher has skipped out to spend time with Gigi at his mother’s house. She wants to know how long he plans on staying there, but Lorelai doesn’t know, and she doesn’t want Rory to call him to try to find out. Later, Lorelai heads to the inn, where things have been running smoothly even without her. She thanks Sookie for some cookies she sent over, and Sookie says all she’s felt like cooking lately is chili.

Michel enters with his dog Paw-Paw and explains that he had to bring him in because his other dog, Chin-Chin, died the night before and Paw-Paw shouldn’t be left alone. Sookie and Lorelai express their condolences, but Michel doesn’t believe Sookie is being sincere since she’d insulted the dogs in the past. Lorelai suggests that they have a memorial service, since Michel is so sad, and he asks her to have it organized by the next day. After he leaves, Sookie admits that it’s a good idea. Rory comes home to find that Paris has brought even more whiteboards into their apartment. She’s also been sticking to their Operation Finish Line schedule on her own because she couldn’t just stop living while Rory was gone. She asks how Richard is and tells Rory about the wonders of beta blockers. She then hands over some notes from a class, though she’s redacted her own input because “there’s not room for many women at the top” and she doesn’t want to help anyone out. Next on the schedule is trading résumés so they can comment on each other’s, but Rory isn’t prepared. Paris herself has 21 versions of her résumé, depending on the field, job, and political affiliation of her boss. Rory spots a package and opens it to find a “second-semester senior survival kit” from Logan. She calls him to thank him and he continues to be a surprisingly good and supportive boyfriend. Even Paris is amazed and admits that she didn’t think they would last. She says that she and Rory broke Doyle and Logan, respectively.

At the inn, Lorelai, Michel, and Sookie meet in the library to plan the memorial service. Lorelai and Sookie pretend to be organized, but Michel is the one who solidifies all the details. He gets upset that the women haven’t been taking the situation seriously. They placate him by agreeing to make up programs, and then Lorelai ditches the two while Sookie goes over the menu. As she escapes, Lorelai runs into Christopher and they agree to talk. She’s obviously upset that he took off after they had a fight, then didn’t show up when Richard was in the hospital. When he did come, he didn’t stay for very long. Christopher says he was angry because Luke was at the hospital, and argues that he “checked in” with her. Lorelai says that wasn’t good enough, and she didn’t know if Christopher was going to come back. “I needed time,” he says. “I needed you,” she replies. She adds that she wasn’t surprised that he didn’t turn up, which was the worst part. Christopher says that isn’t fair, but Lorelai begs off before they can fight any more. Later, Rory calls and asks Lorelai to get her into the mood for her microeconomics class; she’s dreading it since she only signed up when Richard was supposed to teach it. Lorelai tells her that Christopher finally turned up and Rory expresses her annoyance over her father’s behavior. She makes it clear that she’s on Lorelai’s side and always will be. In class, Rory meets Richard’s substitute, Tucker, who’s so attractive that he makes her flustered.

Lorelai comes home, where Christopher has programmed her universal remote, and they share a few awkward moments before finally getting down to business. She tells him that the letter she wrote for Luke (see “To Whom It May Concern”) was a character reference for his custody case, not any kind of love letter. Christopher accuses her of trying to make him think it’s all in his head, saying he knows she still has feelings for Luke. Lorelai notes that she chose Christopher, but he says it’s not that simple. He admits that he and Luke got into a fight (see “Merry Fisticuffs”), and this is what the situation has come down to. She wishes he’d said something so that she could have been more sensitive. Christopher points out that he should have given her more time, which she’d asked for; timing has always been their problem, and while he knew he was ready to get married, Lorelai obviously wasn’t. Lorelai thinks they can work things out, since they’re together now, but Christopher thinks it’s time to walk away: “I’ve been asking you to marry me for 20 years. We’re finally married. I still feel like I’m asking you.” Lorelai apologizes if she made him feel that way and says that she’s serious about making their relationship work. He wants to believe her, but he doesn’t. He heads back to his mother’s house, agreeing to talk more the next day.

At the inn, an upset Michel reminds Lorelai that he asked to have all of the pillows featuring cats removed from the library for the memorial service. He also hasn’t gotten the final menu from Sookie yet, since she’s basically planning to make leftovers. Michel gets more and more upset about the lack of organization, until Lorelai finally tells him to back off because she’s had more important things to deal with. “I apologize that my loss has come at an inopportune time for you,” he says sarcastically. “I will try to schedule the next death when it is more convenient.” At the Yale bookstore, Paris takes Rory around to find books she’s hidden for her. Rory runs into Tucker, who thanks her for telling Richard how well he’s doing with the class. After he leaves, Paris notes that Rory looks strange. At the inn, people get ready for the memorial service, including Kirk, who’s been volunteering for a flower shop (though his volunteer status doesn’t prevent him from asking Lorelai for a tip). Lorelai asks an employee if she’s coming to the service, then rephrases the question to make it an order, since attendance is mandatory. Sookie has cooked up some great food, despite the fact that she believes it’s being “wasted on a dog funeral and a petty little man.” She and Lorelai have decided to try to be nicer, since Michel is taking Chin-Chin’s death so hard.

Lorelai tells Sookie that she and Christopher finally talked, and he thinks she doesn’t want to be in the marriage, but she does. She just hasn’t been able to convince him that she doesn’t want to be with Luke. She thinks the only way to do so would be to completely cut Luke out of her life. Sookie reminds her that he used to be a big part of her life, since they were just engaged a few months ago, and they were together for a long time. Even though Lorelai broke up with Luke and married Christopher, her feelings for Luke couldn’t have disappeared overnight. Lorelai agrees, also agreeing that she moved on quickly, but she did move to a man who loves her. Luke was great and did great things for her, but he didn’t want to marry her and they couldn’t work things out. She decides that she has to cut Luke out of her life in order to save her marriage. Sookie wonders if Christopher would be “the one” if Luke had never been a part of Lorelai’s life. Michel and Lorelai go to Sophie’s Music to chat with Zach about what song he’ll be performing at the memorial service. He’s been looking at songs with the word “dog” in the title, but Lorelai steers him towards “more Princess Diana.” Zach is horrified when Michel settles on “My Heart Will Go On.” Outside the store, Michel tells Lorelai he’s going to the diner, telling a story about stopping in for a hamburger once (Lorelai is shocked); he threw it away and Chin-Chin ate it out of the trash. Luke spots Lorelai and they wave to each other.

Rory comes home and is surprised to find Logan waiting for her outside her apartment (where she’s not actually supposed to be, since Paris has scheduled her to attend a wrestling match). She sits him down and tells him that she doesn’t want to make a big deal after the Marty situation, but she’s worried that she’s self-sabotaging because she has a crush on her new teacher. (She even admits to Googling his name.) Logan isn’t upset and admits that he’s found other girls attractive, so he’d be a hypocrite if he got mad about Rory liking Tucker. Rory is worried that Paris was right and she’s broken Logan so much that he won’t spook anymore. He’s fine with belonging to her, and he’s worried that he’s made Rory too worried about other guys since he overreacted to the Marty situation. They assure each other that they trust each other and aren’t worried about their relationship. They then decide to go take in Paris’ first belly-dancing class. After the memorial service, Lorelai heads home and tells Christopher that Luke isn’t the only problem with their marriage. She moved on too quickly, and while Christopher has always been a “wonderful possibility,” things aren’t right. Christopher admits that he should have known, since it took Lorelai 20 years to agree to marry him. She sadly tells him that she wishes she wanted him, and he tells her he understands.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Paris: “If there’s one thing I learned in that lecture it’s there’s not room for many women at the top.”
Rory: “Gloria Steinem would be so proud.”

“I mean, Logan Huntzberger? Between the women and the drinking, that kid was on the Colin Farrell Freeway, about to pull over into the Robert Downey, Jr. Rest Stop.” - Paris

Rory: “I’m on your side, no matter what.”
Lorelai: “No matter what? I mean, even if I cut off all your hair while you were sleeping, would you still be on my side then?”
Rory: “Yep.”
Lorelai: “What if I signed you up for a camping trip and made you go?”
Rory: “Even then.”
Lorelai: “What if I put a secret clause on your birth certificate that says when you turn 23, your name changes to Hildegarde?”
Rory: “There’s no such thing as a birth-certificate clause.”
Lorelai: “I had a really good lawyer.”

Lorelai: “I got you on speed dial.”
Rory: “Really? You programmed your speed dial?”
Lorelai: “No. It’s metaphorically speaking. I can dial really fast, though.”

Kirk: “I don’t want to embarrass you, but it is customary to tip the deliveryman.”
Lorelai: “I thought you were volunteering.”
Kirk: “Not for you.”

Logan: “Use the term ‘half nelson.’”
Rory: “I’ll use the term ‘whole nelson.’ I’m not afraid.”


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