"It Should Have Been Lorelai"
Written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Lesli Linka Glatter

Rory and Lorelai head to Luke’s, discussing how the phrase “music has charms to soothe the savage breast” became “music has charms to soothe the savage beast.” They arrive at the diner and are shocked to see there are no other customers there. Luke tells them that they can sit wherever they want, and the girls try to decide where to eat. They consider the counter, where they could play bagel hockey. Rory reminds Lorelai that she has a debate at school on Friday. Someone calls the diner, looking for Rory, which freaks her and Lorelai out. It turns out to be Lane, who can see into the diner with her telescope. She’s still grounded for the Henry situation (see “A-Tisket, A-Tasket”) and has even been forced to be home schooled for two weeks. She asks for exciting news, and though Rory doesn’t have much, Lane is grateful for what she can get. Rory tosses the phone back to Luke; Lorelai is impressed with his skills and suggests making him the goalie for their bagel hockey team. “Call me if anyone sane walks in,” Luke says. Back at home, Lorelai and Rory try to find something to watch on TV, but all Lorelai can find is yet another episode of Two Fat Ladies. Rory wonders which one of them died and Lorelai says that it’s even fun to talk about them. Paris shows up and tells Rory that they need to prepare some more for their upcoming debate. Paris says that she listened to a tape of one of their past debates and realized that Rory needs to talk faster. She only speaks 135 words per minute, whereas Paris speaks 178. Rory reluctantly agrees to work with her.

Christopher calls and tells Lorelai that he’s in a nearby town on business. She invites him to come to Rory’s debate if he’s still in town on Friday. Christopher says that he’ll come. Downtown, Rory passes a pay phone that starts to ring. She answers it and finds out that Lane is on the other end. Lane asks her to get the new Belle and Sebastian single for her, since Amazon wouldn’t send it to her in a nondescript wrapper with a return address reference Korean and religion. (She thinks they notified the government.) Rory promises to do her best. Lane tells her that she has something in her teeth. Lorelai and Sookie arrive for the debate; Paris deals with the acoustics and seating arrangements in the room. Lorelai and Sookie look for Christopher, even though Sookie doesn’t know what he looks like. Rory spots Brad (see “Run Away, Little Boy”), who’s on the other school’s team, having switched schools after too many run-ins with Paris. He realizes that he’s debating Paris and starts feeling sick. Sookie and Lorelai make fools of themselves cheering for Rory. Paris tells Rory that she kissed up to one of the judges yesterday. Brad almost has an aneurysm during the coin toss. Rory gives her opening argument as Lorelai and Sookie notice that Brad doesn’t look very good. Christopher arrives, quickly joined by his girlfriend Sherry (Mädchen Amick). Later in the debate, Sookie tries to get a good look at Sherry but Lorelai tells her to keep an eye on Brad instead. Paris and Rory win the debate, leaving Brad in shambles.

Lorelai and Sookie give Sherry a once-over, then finally meet her. Rory joins the group, still a little surprised that Christopher actually showed up. Lorelai pulls Rory aside and tells her that Sherry looks so perfect because she’s really a witch. Lorelai says that they have to play hostess and Rory suggests taking Sherry to Luke’s. Lorelai doesn’t think she looks like the sort of person who would eat in a diner. They decide that the safest thing might be taking her to their house. They both wonder why Christopher didn’t mention that she was coming with him. Lorelai and Rory rejoin the group and invite Christopher and Sherry to their house. Paris congratulates Rory for their good work and wants to wait around until the verbatim transcripts are ready so that they can see how they really did. Rory tells her she can’t stay and Paris gets passive-aggressive. Rory and Lorelai rush to get home before Christopher and Sherry so they can clean things up. They realize that the only food they have to offer their guests is leftover Halloween candy. Christopher and Sherry arrive and the four discuss how the debate went. Sherry tries to bond with Rory over private school uniforms and offers to take Rory shopping sometime. Sherry heads to the kitchen with Lorelai to help her get drinks and recognizes that it’s awkward for her to be there. She says that she doesn’t want Lorelai to feel like they have to be friends because she’s with Christopher now. Sherry also wants to get to know Rory and tries to make sure that that’s okay with Lorelai. Sherry appreciates that Christopher has become more devoted to Rory; she says that he wants her to bond with her. Sherry wants to get Rory to skip Friday night dinner so that they can go shopping tonight.

The phone rings and Lorelai asks Rory to answer it. She does, and it’s Lorelai on the other end. She fills her in on Sherry’s plan and says that if she’s okay with it, she should say, “Sorry, Leonard, we’ve got company, I have to call you back.” She says so and Lorelai hangs up. When she comes into the living room, Rory tells her that Leonard called. Christopher asks who he is and the girls say that he’s a mutual friend of theirs. Sherry asks Rory if she wants to do something and Rory accepts. Lorelai offers to let Christopher tag along with her to her parents’ house, “‘cause with Rory not there, [she] might need a hostage.” Sherry and Christopher leave to get ready for the evening, and Christopher tells Lorelai, “Goodbye, Leonard.” That night, Lane calls and tells Rory that there’s a problem with their CD drop-off plan - the Bible class at her house has been moved forward an hour, so Rory will have to bring the CD by at 10:00 instead of 9:00. Rory tells her that Sherry is visiting with Christopher; Lane doesn’t have time to talk, so she tells Rory to write it all down and put it in the CD case, along with a candid photo of Sherry, if possible. Sherry and Christopher arrive and Sherry realizes that she’ll need to drink a lot of coffee to keep up with the girls. She and Rory leave and Christopher tells Lorelai that he’s glad she’s letting them hang out together. Lorelai asks if Sherry was with him when she invited him to the debate. He says that she was and Lorelai replies that he didn’t indicate that. She wonders if he was trying to hide the fact that she was with him; he says he wasn’t.

Christopher wants to know what Lorelai thinks of Sherry, but Lorelai doesn’t think she knows her well enough to render a judgment. He points out that that’s never stopped her before. Lorelai tells him what Sherry said in the kitchen, which surprises Christopher, since Sherry didn’t mention all of the conversation to him. He assures her that he didn’t pressure Sherry to tell Lorelai that they don’t have to push anything, but he did encourage Sherry to get to know Rory. He reminds her that Rory is his daughter, so he wants her and Sherry to get along. Lorelai notes that since she’s Rory’s mother, she’ll have to be in the picture. Christopher replies that Lorelai never let him be a part of Max’s life. He didn’t know she was engaged until she called him from the bachelorette party (see “Red Light on a Wedding Night”) and he never got a wedding invitation. Lorelai assures him that eventually he would have been a part of the equation. He tells her the same about his equation. Lorelai and Christopher head to Friday night dinner, surprising Richard and Emily. Christopher explains that his girlfriend is also in town and Rory is out with her. The four talk about Sherry, travel, Christopher’s car, and Christopher’s plans with Sherry. Emily isn’t thrilled that Rory isn’t there for Friday night dinner, so Christopher suggests having Sherry bring her by. Lorelai tells Emily that they’re trying to work with her, but Emily thinks she’s being patronizing.

Lorelai follows Emily to the kitchen, where Emily asks how Lorelai could let Rory go off with a “horrible woman.” She tells Lorelai that Christopher is making a life with Sherry, but it should have been with Lorelai. She thinks that Lorelai is heartbroken about this, but Lorelai points out that the timing was never right for her and Christopher. They argue about destiny and Lorelai says that what’s important is that Christopher is happy. The next morning, Lorelai goes to Luke’s; he tries to cheer her up by offering to play bagel hockey with her. Rory arrives and Lorelai asks for details on her night with Sherry. She reveals that Sherry wants at least two kids, and that before she met Christopher, she was considering being a single parent. Lorelai tells Rory what happened with Emily at dinner but assures her that Emily isn’t upset with her. Lorelai asks what Rory has thought about her and Christopher all these years. Rory admits that she’s pictured the three of them as a family, but it’s not the only thing she’s pictured. Lorelai asks Rory if she should be in Sherry’s place, but before she can answer, Rory leaves to take care of some business. She heads into the center of town, where Lane and Mrs. Kim are leaving their house. Rory nods to Kirk, who approaches Mrs. Kim to ask her about her store hours. While Mrs. Kim is distracted, a hooded jogger runs by and puts the Belle and Sebastian CD into Lane’s bag. The jogger, who happens to be Michel, runs to the gazebo, where Rory is waiting. He complains that he’s been running around the town square for over an hour, since he was still going with the original 9:00 plan. (Apparently Lorelai didn’t tell him about the time change.) Michel gets a cramp and Rory asks if she can do anything. “Get away from me, evil girl!” Michel says to her.

Christopher and Sherry arrive at Luke’s and Sherry tells Lorelai that she and Rory had a good time the night before. Sherry leaves to find Rory and Christopher and Lorelai discuss their fun-filled evening with Richard and Emily. Christopher says that he never wanted to put Lorelai in that position; Lorelai assures him that he couldn’t have known how Emily would react to Rory not being there. Lorelai tells Christopher that through the years, no matter who she’s been with or not been with, she’s always kept Christopher at the back of her mind. She’s always tried to hold onto the prospect of being with him, but she’s put it on hold while he worked on getting his life together. She thinks that she might have unconsciously sabotaged all of her relationships because she was waiting for Christopher, though she shouldn’t have been. Now that she sees that he’s happy with Sherry, she thinks that she can move on. Christopher bitterly says that he’s glad Lorelai is happy now and blasts her for putting all of this on him. Lorelai says that she’s thanking him, but Christopher is upset that she’s “dumping 15 years of unhappiness” and failed relationships on him. He thinks that she’s blaming him for the breakup of her relationship with Max. Lorelai denies that this is what she means and Christopher asks what she expects to get from her big revelation. He asks if she wants him to apologize for ruining her life or comfort her so she can feel okay. On his way out of the diner, he tells her, “If there’s anything else you feel bad about in your life that you wanna dump on my doorstep, just leave a note!” Lorelai glances over at Luke, who looks away. Outside, Christopher says goodbye to Rory.

WELCOME TO STARS HOLLOW: Sherry

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Lorelai: “Or we could sit in the corner - you know, the mafia table, so that no one can come up behind you and whack you with a cannoli.”
Rory: “Whack you with a cannoli? Oh, because he left the gun and took the cannoli.”
Lorelai: “You’re so my daughter.”

Rory: (at the debate) “I’m glad you came.”
Sookie: “No, you’re not!”
Rory: “What?”
Sookie: “I’m just getting you in the mood.”

Lorelai: “So, do you see Christopher anywhere?”
Sookie: “Uh, well, no, no, no. Hey, what does he look like?”
Lorelai: “If you don’t know, why are you looking?”
Sookie: “I’m looking for a guy that looks like a guy that you could be with, only I’m deducting 17 years off his age and I’m adding an all-boys private school uniform and a Yankees cap.”
Lorelai: “And does your head hurt?”
Sookie: “Yeah.”

Lorelai: “It’s also excellent for cranking Metallica.”
Richard: “Cranking Metallica?”
Lorelai: “Mm-hmm.”
Richard: “If that’s some sort of drug reference, it isn’t funny.”

Rory: “She’s a very cautious driver. She doesn’t roll through stop signs, doesn’t speed, she always signals before she turns.”
Lorelai: “Hmm. Commendable, but not the person I want driving our getaway car.”
Rory: “What are we robbing?”
Lorelai: “Sephora. We had it all planned out.”
Rory: “Slipped my mind.”

Kirk: “Excuse me, Mrs. Kim, I’m Kirk.”
Mrs. Kim: “I know you’re Kirk. I’ve known you since you were two.”
Kirk: “That’s no guarantee that people remember me.”

Michel: “Never will I do anything for you again, ever, ever, never!”
Rory: “Well, if it makes you feel any better, you had really good form.”
Michel: “You are your mother’s child.”
Rory: “Thank you!”


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