Written by Krista Vernoff; directed by Rob Corn

As Meredith voices over that there’s no such thing as a grownup, Burke arrives home to find Cristina brushing her teeth and dancing around the apartment to music on her iPod. At first Cristina is embarrassed to be caught dancing, but then she gets Burke to join in while Meredith talks about moving away from our families and forming our own. Burke answers the phone and informs Cristina that there’s been a flood in the apartment she supposedly gave up to move in with him. Meredith voices over that even when we grow up, our insecurities and fears just grow up with us. Meredith visits Ellis at the nursing home and they both say they’re tired - though Ellis is tired because she was up all night having sex in the on-call room. Too bad it wasn’t with her husband, Thatcher. She thinks Thatcher is pretending that he doesn’t realize Ellis is cheating on him, because her actions are completely obvious. Meredith voices over that adults are just big kids, “running around the playground trying desperately to fit in.” In the locker room, Cristina complains that Burke is treating her like a criminal. Izzie and Alex run into each other and each say, “You have dirty in your eyes.” Izzie, however, refuses to sleep with Alex anymore (see “It’s the End of the World” and “(As We Know It)”). She notes that they’re friends and things didn’t work out when they tried to be more than friends. She then tries to deny that she’s looking at him as anything other than a friend. On their rounds, the interns present a patient named Chuck who is about to undergo surgery for cancer. He only has a 25 percent chance of surviving, but he’s sure that he wants to take the risk.

As the interns head to their next room, George asks Izzie how he looks; Izzie encourages him to just talk to Meredith. The interns meet up with Bailey, who’s brought the baby in and says that Tucker will be coming home the next day. She lets the groups coo over the baby for a minute, then sends them back to work. Their next patient is Jake, a teenaged boy with craniodiaphyseal dysplasia; the bony features in his face are larger than normal. Jake notices that Cristina seems uncomfortable around him and suggests that she pretend he’s a lion. Meredith is at the nurses’ station when Mark Sloan (Eric Dane) approaches and starts flirting with her. Derek, Addison, and George all see them, but Derek’s reaction is the most surprising - he punches Mark. Webber summons Derek and Addison to his office, where he yells at Derek for hitting someone with his “$2-million-a-year hand.” Addison explains that Derek and Mark worked together in New York and they were all good friends until Derek came home and found Mark in bed with Addison (see “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”). “You put your weight behind it?” Webber asks. Derek did, so Webber is satisfied. Elsewhere, Meredith tends to a cut on Mark’s face as he notes that he and Derek have always had the same taste in women. Apparently Meredith’s reputation precedes her, as she’s famous in New York; she notes that she’s heard of him as well. “We’re the dirty mistresses,” he notes. Mark adds that when Derek caught him with Addison, he just turned and walked out of the room, but when he saw Mark just talking to Meredith, he got violent. Meredith starts to suture Mark’s cut, but he makes her hold a mirror so he can suture himself.

At the nurses’ station, the other interns watch and Alex explains that Mark is a hotshot plastic surgeon. Cristina and Izzie think it’s obvious why Addison slept with him, and the two of them and Meredith get to giving him a McNickname. (They forgo McSexy and McYummy for McSteamy.) As George and Izzie suit up for traumas, George tells Izzie that he saw Meredith first - he met her the same night she met Derek, though he can’t remember what they talked about. Izzie ignores him and talks about how she went a while without sex, but now that she’s had some, she’s awakened a beast and can’t stop craving it. George thinks she has bad taste, since she’s craving Alex, but Izzie thinks he’s jealous because his beast is still asleep. Meredith stops by to see Chuck and finds him setting up a video camera - he wants to make videos for people in case he doesn’t survive. Interestingly, they’re pretty vindictive videos. Alex chats with Mark, who guesses that Alex is interested in being a plastic surgeon and suggests that he move to L.A. or New York to better pursue that specialty. Alex notes that there’s a kid with lionitis at Seattle Grace right now. A woman named Pamela is brought in after having been in a car accident, though she tells George and Izzie that she doesn’t think she needs to be there. She then proceeds to have a spontaneous orgasm. Later, Addison joins them and Pamela reveals that she’s been having spontaneous orgasms seven or eight times a day for a few months. Izzie finds it hard to hide how exciting that sounds to her, and even George wonders why Pamela would want to see a doctor and find a cure. Pamela is less than thrilled to learn that the doctors called her father, her emergency contact person, because she doesn’t exactly want to have one of her “episodes” in front of him.

14 tapes in, Meredith finally expresses her annoyance with Chuck for telling everyone who’s ever wronged him that he’s upset. He tells her that he’s always kept everything in and no one knows how he really feels, but he doesn’t want to carry his true feelings with him to his grave. Meredith wonders why he doesn’t just want people to remember him as the nice guy he appears to be. Cristina gives Jake an MRI and he notes that her face is “surly and hard core” but she has nice eyes. She repays his compliment and he teases, “You get that I’m jailbait, right?” Meredith runs into Webber and asks him if he remembers her father and why he left Ellis. Webber thinks that Ellis asked him to leave, but he claims to not know why. Derek and Cristina find Mark talking to Jake’s parents about a surgery he can perform that will make Jake’s face look more normal. Later, Cristina and Alex watch as Mark, Derek, and Webber discuss the surgery, but they can’t read anyone’s lips or figure out what they’re saying. They lose interest when George stops by and lets them know that there’s a woman in the ER having spontaneous orgasms. Derek tells Mark that he just wants to get published for performing surgery on Jake, but Mark thinks that Webber is on his side for that reason. Webber admits that he’d love to say no just because he’s friends with Derek, but Mark can do the surgery if he gets Jake’s parents to consent. Addison catches George, Alex, and Cristina watching Pamela and pulls a curtain to give her some privacy.

Mark tracks down Addison, who tells him to go back to New York. He says that they’ve all made mistakes, but along the way he lost both his best friend and the woman he loved. Mark realizes that Derek doesn’t know that Addison stayed with him after Derek came to Seattle; Mark wonders how Addison can think she and her husband will get back together if she’s not being honest with him. He admits that he came to Seattle to try to get Addison to come home with him. She tells him she’s in love with Derek, and Mark replies that Derek is in love with Meredith. Outside, the interns talk about Pamela, leading Izzie and Alex to get sex on their brains. George tries to hit on Meredith, who doesn’t seem to be paying attention. Izzie announces that her beast isn’t hungry, then leaves. George has to explain the beast thing to Meredith and Cristina, who say that they don’t lose interest in sex after not having it for a while. Later, George complains to Izzie that he grew his hair out for Meredith but she doesn’t seem to have noticed. Izzie encourages him again to just tell Meredith how he feels. The two are giving Pamela a CT scan, but she can’t stay still long enough because of her “episodes.” Jake’s parents find Mark preparing Jake for surgery and tell him that the operation is too dangerous to be done along with the brain surgery he’s already scheduled to undergo. Mark sides with Jake, saying that they might as well do it all at once rather than run the risks associated with putting him under anesthesia twice. Derek finds Meredith getting Chuck’s tapes reading to be mailed and they wonder why people cheat on other people. Derek admits that he was a little absent around Addison, and he’s not sure if things would have been different if they’d had children.

Izzie asks Pamela if it would really be so horrible if they couldn’t cure her condition, but Pamela notes that it’s impossible to go out in public (especially with her parents) when she knows she’ll have an episode. Burke and Meredith operate on Chuck, and Meredith announces that Chuck made 17 “hate tapes.” She doesn’t want to send them because she thinks Chuck was so scared that he wasn’t thinking clearly. Burke disagrees, pointing out that a patient asked her to do something, so she should do it. He’s obviously speaking subtextually about Cristina, and he asks Meredith if she knew that Cristina didn’t give up her apartment. She admits that she knew. Bailey, Webber, and Bailey’s son watch from the gallery as Derek performs Jake’s brain surgery, but Bailey decides that the baby needs to leave when things start going badly. Jake ends up dying, but afterwards, Cristina and Alex approach Mark to ask him to perform the plastic surgery anyway. Chuck wakes up from surgery and is pleased to hear that it was successful. However, he still wants Meredith to mail his tapes. “Sometimes a man has to say his piece,” he says. Later, George approaches Meredith at the nurses’ station and asks her if she wants to go out for a drink. Meredith is too busy finding an address in the phone book, and she tells George that she doesn’t want to make videotapes on her deathbed. She heads over to a house, where she meets her father, Thatcher Gray (Jeff Perry), and tells him that Ellis had an affair. She asks why Thatcher didn’t stay and fight for them; he says he tried, but she doesn’t think that’s enough. Thatcher asks if Meredith needs anything, but she replies that she doesn’t need anything from him.

Derek and Addison meet up in an elevator and Addison says that it’s not her fault that Mark showed up. Mark joins them and Derek decides to take the stairs instead. Mark stops him from leaving and asks how Derek can forgive Addison but not him. Derek replies that he didn’t forgive Addison, and he has no obligation to try to forgive Mark. After Derek leaves, Mark tells Addison that her marriage is over and she needs to admit it and come back to New York with him. He’ll be waiting for her at the ECB. Cristina and Alex bring Jake’s parents to see him and his new face; they note that he looks peaceful. Later, Burke comes home to find Cristina eating Chinese food in his bed, and he tells her that despite all of their differences, he loves her and can’t believe she won’t just let him. She tells him that she gave up her apartment 20 minutes ago. As Meredith voices over that she’s never met anyone who’s really grown up, Pamela asks Izzie if she’ll still be able to have orgasms after she has surgery to stop her “episodes.” Izzie assures her that she will. Later, George complains to Izzie that Meredith doesn’t listen to him, but she thinks Meredith will if George makes her. He realizes that she “fed the beast,” and Izzie heads off with Alex. Meredith voices over about breaking rules as Webber visits Ellis and tells her that Meredith knows about them. Ellis thinks that’s impossible since Meredith is only five. Meredith goes to the ECB, where she finds Mark still waiting for Addison; she tells him Addison won’t show, but Mark wants things to come out on top for the dirty mistresses for once. It’s useless, as Addison is at the trailer. At home, George goes to Meredith’s bedroom and tells her that he would never leave her or stop loving her. She responds by taking off his shirt.



MEMORABLE QUOTES: Cristina: (re: Burke) “He’s acting like I committed a crime. Like my apartment is full of stolen goods. He’s acting like I kept my apartment to hide stolen goods so I can do illegal transactions for money.”
Meredith: “Are you sure he’s just not acting like you lied about moving in?”
Cristina: “Okay, what’s wrong with you?”
Meredith: “My mommy’s a filthy whore.”

George: “How would you say I looked today? Would you say I looked nice?”
Izzie: “Well, I say you could use a little more lip gloss, but yes, you’re very pretty.”

George: (re: Mark) “Why is he suturing his own face?”
Cristina: “To turn me on.”

Cristina: “McSexy?”
Meredith: “No.”
Izzie: “McYummy.”
Meredith and Cristina: “No.”
Meredith: “McSteamy.”
Cristina: “Oh, there it is.”
Izzie: “Yep.”
George: “Uh, just, uh, choking back some McVomit.”

Izzie: “You know how when you haven’t had sex for a while and you sort of forget how good it is and you don’t really need it as much?”
George: “Yeah, that doesn’t happen to guys.”

Cristina: (re: Addison) “I don’t get what McDreamy and McSteamy see in her.”
Alex: “She’s McHot.”
George: “McYeah she is.”

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