"Always a Godmother, Never a God"
Written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner; directed by Robert Berlinger

Lorelai sorts through old videos while Luke complains about various things wrong with her house. He’s also not happy to see that she’s only getting rid of two of her numerous movies and taped TV shows. He encourages her to get them on DVD, but she likes having the commercials on the tapes. Lorelai finds her copy of Riding the Bus with My Sister, which she hasn’t watched yet because she doesn’t want to see it alone and, obviously, Rory hasn’t been around to watch it with her. At the Gilmores’ pool house, a maid tells Rory that Emily wants her to swap out her summer clothes for autumn attire. Emily calls from Finland and asks Rory to help her set up a DAR mixer. Lorelai arrives at the inn to find Jackson and Sookie fighting about baptizing their kids. Jackson wants to go through with it, since it will soften the blow when he has to tell his mother they’re not having more kids because he had a vasectomy (see “Blame Booze and Melville”). Sookie doesn’t want to have the baptism because she doesn’t want Jackson’s family staying in their house. Lorelai suggests that they put the guests up at the inn and agrees to take care of all of the arrangements. Sookie and Jackson then start arguing about invoices and vegetables. Rory does well overseeing the DAR mixer, though Logan is less than thrilled to be there; she sends him to the pool house to wait for her. At home, Lorelai almost watches Riding the Bus with My Sister, then tries to call Rory, who has changed her cell phone number.

After the mixer, Rory goes to the pool house and finds Colin and Finn there, hanging out with Logan. Colin’s milkmaid (see “The UnGraduate”) has come over from Holland, though Colin has started to lose interest in her. Jackson’s relatives are about to arrive at the inn, much to Sookie’s chagrin, since Jackson isn’t there yet to deal with them. He arrives just ahead of his family and warns Lorelai that his brother Beau (see “The Festival of Living Art”) thinks that she’s a nympho, which he apparently learned from Rune. Indeed, when Beau arrives, he immediately starts flirting with Lorelai. Jackson and Sookie apologize to her. When Beau comes back in with his bag, he tells Lorelai he’ll see her later, then licks his room key. At the diner, Zach awaits his muse, then sings a tune and gets Brian to write it down. He’s disappointed that Lane didn’t bring her cell phone to work, so he can’t call home and leave the tune on their answering machine. Sookie arrives with cake toppers, happy that she’s found a groom with Luke’s butt. She bugs him about the wedding date and he tells her that they’re not setting one until Lorelai and Rory have worked things out (see “The UnGraduate”). Nearby, Zach uses the diner phone to leave his tune on the answering machine. Later, Lane arrives home to discover that Zach has spent the band’s $9,000 from their tour on recording equipment.

At the inn, Michel complains about the Bellevilles and Lorelai asks if she can interest him in a sick day. “I would not give them the satisfaction,” Michel replies. Sookie asks Lorelai to be Martha’s godmother; Lorelai wonders if she gets a wand. Sookie continues that since Davey is being baptized as well and also needs a godmother, she’d like to ask Rory to be his. Lorelai brainstorms other people who could do it but finally gives in. The morning of the baptism, Lorelai looks for a dress and asks Luke, “Which one goes better with a baby?” She thinks that Sookie has set up the whole thing to get her and Rory together. At the pool house, Rory looks for a dress and asks Logan, “Which one goes better with a baby?” At Hep Alien’s apartment, Lane attempts to decipher the manual that came with the recording equipment, which the guys have already given up on. Rory stops by before the baptism and she and Lane catch up on each other’s lives. Lane thinks that Rory and Lorelai will eventually work things out and be all right. The girls agree to try not to go so long without talking. At the church, Kirk wonders which side is for Davey and which is for Martha, since he doesn’t want to offend anyone. Jackson tells Sookie that since he was never baptized as a child, his mother wants him to be baptized along with Davey and Martha. He’s upset about this and tells Sookie to tell his mother that she’ll divorce him if he gets baptized. Sookie is too amused to agree.

Sookie leaves Rory and Lorelai alone together, but they don’t talk to each other. The reverend takes them to his office to discuss their religious affiliations (which, of course, are nonexistent). Back in the sanctuary, Kirk says that Davey is the more accessible Bellville child - “he’s the Dandy Warhols to Martha’s Brian Jonestown Massacre.” Beau arrives and randomly spills change all over the floor. The baptism begins and Jackson chooses Beau as his sponsor; Beau spills change again. The reverend asks Lorelai if she renounces Satan, but it takes her a minute to respond. As the ceremony continues, Lorelai asks Sookie if she called Rory. She then asks Rory how Sookie got her new phone number. They take the conversation (and the kids) outside and argue about Rory getting a new number. At the party afterwards, Sookie admits to Lorelai that she wanted her and Rory to be the kids’ godmothers because she wanted them to patch things up. Lorelai tells Beau that everything Rune said about her was a lie, though it turns out that most of the facts were accurate. Rory leaves, offering Lorelai her new number, but Lorelai says she’ll just get it from Emily. Rory calls Logan, who tells her that Mitchum wants him to start getting more involved in the family business. He suggests a spontaneous weekend in New York, which she agrees to. Back at home, Lorelai watches Riding the Bus with My Sister with Paul Anka.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Luke: “You’re going to be one of those weird old people who hordes empty film canisters and laundry measuring scoops.”
Lorelai: “Uh, gonna be?”

Jackson: “This isn’t about the zucchini. This is about the baptism!”
Sookie: “Well, I christen these vegetables sucky!”

Beau: “Guess I’ll just go get my duffel bag out of the minivan.”
Lorelai: “That’s the first time I ever heard the word ‘duffel’ sound dirty.”

Lorelai: “He’s snarky.”
Sookie: “And sarcastic.”
Lorelai: “He’s snarkastic.”

Kirk: “This is the suit they buried my dad in.”
Rory: “Oh. Well…I think I’m going to let that one go.”

Reverend: “Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces that rebel against God?”
Beau: “Satan can kiss my a%$.”


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