"But Not as Cute as Pushkin"
Written by Amy Sherman-Palladino; directed by Michael Zinberg

Lorelai carries a bunch of shoes downtown to be repaired and runs into Miss Patty, who invites her to her show business anniversary party. It’s been 40 years since she did her first off-Broadway play (in Cleveland). Lorelai promises to bring Luke to the party, but Miss Patty says that he won’t come - the party’s on the 30th, which is Luke’s “dark day.” Despite the fact that Lorelai has known Luke for years and probably knows him better than anyone in the world, she has no idea what this dark day is. Apparently he always disappears for the whole day and everyone in town knows not to try to find him. At Yale, Paris confers with Terrence (see “The Lorelais’ First Day at Yale”), who thinks she’s overscheduling herself. He thinks she should start dating again but Paris is still working on getting over Asher’s death (see “Written in the Stars”). Terrence wants her to make an effort to meet guys. Rory gets a message from Headmaster Charleston and calls him back. He asks her to host Anna, a prospective from Chilton, for a few days. Rory is honored to be asked and agrees. At the Gilmores’ pool house, Richard congratulates Rory on being asked to host Anna. The two of them discuss possible places Rory can take her. Lorelai encourages Rory to take Anna somewhere fun. Richard wants to make sure that Rory is making some good friends and asks after Logan. Lorelai realizes that he was at the Yale alumni party (see “The Party’s Over”) and, on the girls’ way to the main house, asks Rory for more information. Rory says they’re just friends.

Lorelai snags food from the diner and takes it up to Luke’s apartment, happy at the convenience. She starts talking about how well things are going with them, then mentions Miss Patty’s upcoming anniversary. He agrees to go to the party, then backs out when he learns which day it is. He tells Lorelai that he has to go to Woodbury for a standing banking appointment. Rory returns to her dorm with a bunch of stuff for Anna. Paris isn’t happy that teenagers are moving in on their territory and taking their jobs and starter husbands. Anna arrives and Rory introduces her to Paris, then apologizes. Marty arrives shortly afterwards with food from a catering job and is excited to think that Anna may have replaced Paris. Anna is impressed that Rory has boys bringing her food. Rory gives her a tour as Anna takes notes. She talks up the newspaper office but is disappointed to see how quiet things are when they arrive. Paris and Doyle argue about what Rory thinks is a source, but Doyle just wants to know where Paris got her pen. Lorelai calls Rory to ask if she knows anything about Luke’s dark day. Rory is as clueless as she is. Kirk approaches Lorelai with bath and shower adhesive decals he’s selling. Lorelai asks about the dark day, which Kirk knows about, though he’s not aware of too many details. Rory takes Anna to the library, where Anna says that she likes that no one at college has to wear a uniform. She asks about Rory’s dating history at college. Logan approaches, flirting a little with Anna, and encourages Rory to take her to a pub.

In Stars Hollow, Lorelai spots Luke yelling at a woman named Mrs. Thompson outside her house. Mrs. Thompson explains to Lorelai that Luke’s father used to rent out her garage to store the boat he was building. Luke has continued renting the garage, but now Mrs. Thompson is moving to a nursing home and Luke needs to move the boat. Lorelai notes that this isn’t something Luke should really be upset about. He’s mad because he hasn’t been given much notice and has no place to put the boat. He announces that they should just tow it away and trash it. Lorelai tells him that Mrs. Thompson isn’t trying to hurt him and drives him back to the diner. He finally tells her that the 30th is the anniversary of his father’s death, and every year he takes the day off and basically disappears. Lorelai thinks that Luke will want the boat someday, but he notes that he hasn’t looked at it in years and it’s time to move on. Rory takes Anna to the pub, where they run into Marty. Rory chases off a couple of college guys talking to Anna, which upsets her. Back at the dorm, Anna is thrilled with the amount of freedom. Even though it’s 11 at night, Paris announces that she’s going out to meet guys. The next day, Rory’s class is interrupted when Colin bursts in and declares his love for Rory. Logan follows and fights with him over her. Finn enters in a British police officer’s uniform and tells Rory to give the guys back their dignity. The class is amused but Rory is suitably embarrassed.

Lorelai and Sookie have cleaned out Mrs. Thompson’s garage as part of a deal that allows Lorelai to take the boat. Lorelai plans to hide the boat in her own garage until she can figure out how to tell Luke about it. At Yale, Paris attends a speed dating session but strikes out with the first two guys. The third happens to be Doyle and they bond over how annoying their prospects are. Later, back in the dorm, Anna can’t stop talking about the LDB ambush on Rory’s class. Rory is shocked to see Doyle emerge from Paris’ room, obviously post-coitus. Rory rushes Anna out of the dorm. At dinner, Logan approaches them and Rory sends Anna off to a frozen yogurt social. She then lets out a string of names for Logan and blasts him for making her look foolish in class. He promises to tell her professor that she wasn’t involved in the prank, but Rory is upset that he wasted her time. She’s also upset that Anna isn’t getting the real idea about Yale and thinks it’s all fun and games. Back at the dorm, Paris forces Doyle into a conference call with Terrence to discuss what will happen next. Rory returns, unable to find Anna, and calls Marty for help. She then calls Lorelai, who points out that Rory was Anna’s age more recently and might have a better idea of where she would go. They head off to check for Anna at the pub. Luke arrives at Lorelai’s house and notes that her garage door looks strange. Inside, he finds the boat and blasts her for taking it when he told her he didn’t want it. She tells him that she thought he might regret the decision. Luke shoots back that she disrespected him and never listens to him.

Rory and Marty are still out of luck at the pub. Rory complains that she could have kept an eye on Anna if Logan hadn’t bothered her. She complains about how much Logan has it in for her until Marty points out that he actually likes her. She doesn’t agree, since Logan embarrassed her in class. Marty says that she’s in with him and his group now. Headmaster Charleston calls and Rory tells him that Anna is fine. Too bad he knows that she was actually picked up by the police at a Yale party. Rory tells Marty that she thinks she’s going to retroactively flunk high school for this. She gets them a cab but Marty decides to walk back instead. Lorelai and Sookie attend Miss Patty’s party, though Lorelai is sad about her fight with Luke. Miss Patty sings, accompanied by a woman on the piano and Kirk on the cowbell. Lorelai sees Luke outside and goes out to talk to him. She apologizes for what happened but he seems to be over it. She invites him to the party but he decides to stay away. She heads back in and he goes to her garage to reminisce with the boat. Back at Yale, Richard confronts Logan, Colin, and Finn about the LDB fiasco. He explains that he and Logan’s father have discussed things and are prepared to start planning Logan and Rory’s wedding. He leaves Logan dumbfounded and meets up with Rory, who is happy about her revenge.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Miss Patty: “Pasquale’s feeling unappreciated again.”
Lorelai: “We had Stars Hollow Loves Pasquale Day last week!”
Miss Patty: “Didn’t stick.”

Rory: “Anna, this is my roommate, Paris. I’m sorry.”
Anna: “For what?”
Rory: “Trust me.”

Doyle: “I am your editor, Paris, and I demand that you tell me!”
Paris: “I won’t tell you where I got it, Doyle.”
Doyle: “You will if you want to stay on this newspaper!”
Rory: “Okay, you are now privy to one of the classic journalistic dilemmas between reporter and editor - the right to protect sources.”
Doyle: “Da@%$#, Paris, you tell me where you got that pen right now!”
Paris: “The pen fairy.”

“You keep all those crazy anal Bob Graham kind of notebooks. ‘8:00 a.m., got up. 8:15, brushed teeth. 8:25, had impure thoughts. 8:36, sent dwarves off to work.’” - Lorelai to Rory

Lorelai: “Oh, you know what? I have someone standing abnormally close to me right now. I’ll call you later.”
Rory: “Okay, say hi to Kirk for me.”

“It’s 11 o’clock at night. Who are you hoping to hook up with now, Spike and Drusilla?” - Rory to Paris

Jack: “I'm Jack.”
Paris: “Paris.”
Jack: “Parents travel a lot?”
Paris: “Why?”
Jack: “Your name is Paris.”
Paris: “No. Did your parents change flat tires a lot?”
Jack: “What?”
Paris: “Or plug the phone into the wall a lot?”
Jack: “No.”
Paris: “Great. So we’ve cleared up that mystery. What's next on your fascinating list of talking points?
Jack: “Uh, what’s your major?”
Paris: “Seriously? You’ve got one minute to make an impression and that’s all you can come up with? You want to know my sign, too, Jack? Or how about my favorite color or if I’m a Britney or a Christina? Here, I’ll ask you a question. Was the last time you had an interesting thought when you considered flinging yourself off a building? ‘Bye, Jack. I’ll write Mother immediately.”

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