"Casino Night"
Written by Steve Carell; directed by Ken Kwapis

As people set up the warehouse for a Casino Night, Michael voices over that he knows it’s illegal to gamble in Pennsylvania, but it’s for charity and he considers himself “a great philanderer.” Dwight wears a tux to work and Jim pokes fun at him. He tells Pam that his grandfather was buried in the tux, so it’s a family heirloom. Roy drops by to talk to Pam about Casino Night; she tells him she’s a roulette expert, which Dwight contests since roulette is a game of chance, not skill. Jim says he can “always kind of win at roulette” thanks to mind control. Dwight is skeptical and challenges him to move a coat rack with his mind. Jim focuses on the rack, which starts to move and strikes Dwight silent. In an interview, Pam holds up an umbrella with a curved handle to show that she made the rack move. Later, Dwight checks out the coat rack while Pam pretends not to watch. Michael talks to Jan on the phone, learning that his branch is currently fourth out of the five branches Jan manages. He promises to kick things up a notch, then invites her to Casino Night. He thinks people would like to see her since she’s the Eva Peron to his Cesar Chavez. She declines the invitation. Michael interviews that they’re just friends…with privileges. Someday.

Michael tells everyone that Casino Night will benefit the Boy Scouts of America, which Oscar notes they support every year. “Well, they need our money,” Michael says. “They don’t have cookies like the Girl Scouts.” He adds that the person who has the highest chip count at the end of the night will receive $500 to give to the charity of his or her choice, plus a mini fridge from Vance Refrigeration. He announces that he himself will be playing for Comic Relief, but Jim points out that it doesn’t even exist anymore. Creed interviews that he’ll probably give to a soup kitchen with some good pea soup. Kevin wants to give to “something with animals. Or people.” Kelly is considering Kobe Bryant’s charity, since he’s hot, gave his wife a huge diamond ring, and she knows “he didn’t do it. “Maybe he did it.” Angela hates the idea of giving gambled money to a charity. Michael adds that they’ll give money to actual Boy Scouts at the end of the night, but Toby tells him they can’t invite kids to an event including gambling and alcohol in a dangerous warehouse on a school night. Also, it’s being catered by Hooters. Michael shoots back that he hates the way Toby acts.

After a discussion about Michael’s new chosen charity and how he can’t make AIDS funny, Jim finds Pam looking through tapes from bands she’s considering having play at her wedding. Jim is excited about the hilariousness the tapes may contain, so they head to the conference room to watch them. Pam interviews that things are going very well right now - she’s getting married soon and is getting along with people at work. Jim interviews that he did talk to Jan about transferring to Stamford (see “Conflict Resolution”) because he has no future at the Scranton branch. In Michael’s office, Darryl tells Michael that they can’t have fire-eaters in the warehouse because of all the paper there. Dwight happens to be there because Michael wanted him there for “protection.” Darryl adds that there’s a lot of stuff in the warehouse that could get stolen. Michael thinks it’s ironic that he’s afraid, since, as Darryl notes, he’s “from the ‘hood.” They both say, “Dinkin’ flicka,” a phrase Darryl taught Michael so he could laugh at him about something else. He also taught him a dorky handshake. At his desk, Dwight tries to use his mind to move his bobblehead.

Jim and Pam continue watching tapes; she suggests hiring a bunch and having three stages set up like at Lollapalooza. They watch a tape of a Police cover band called Scrantonicity and spot Kevin playing the drums and singing. In an interview, Kevin says they don’t play a lot, but Pam’s wedding could be the band’s turning point. Jim jokes that they have to get the band immediately before Pam loses them to another wedding. Pam stops him and interviews that being with Jim keeps her from getting too stressed out about the wedding. Carol (see “Office Olympics” and “Michael’s Birthday”) calls Michael, but Pam doesn’t patch her through until after Michael has made a bad joke, noting that he usually does better on the second try. Carol asks if she can stop by later to drop something off, and Michael invites her to come to Casino Night. Before Carol can accept or decline, Jan calls and agrees to come to Casino Night. Michael gets back on the line with Carol, who also agrees to come. “Two queens on Casino Night,” Michael notes after he hangs up. “I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.”

That night, Pam starts off the event by winning and celebrating with Roy. Carol arrives and gets a kiss on the cheek from Michael, who says that’s how they do it in the paper business. That means when Dwight approaches, Michael has to kiss him, too. Dwight says that “code name RE/MAX” is there but there’s no sign of Jan yet. He interviews that tonight he’s Michael’s wingman and has to keep Jan and Carol away from each other. He quotes Michael as saying, “We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.” Creed steals some chips from another guy, interviewing that he steals all the time and stopped caring a long time ago. Michael approaches Billy (see “The Injury”) and compliments him on having a hot nurse (who’s actually Billy’s girlfriend). Michael welcomes everyone to Casino Night, telling them that Lady Fortune is now their boss. “Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?” Stanley asks.

Michael plays poker with Toby, bluffing to get everyone but Toby to fold. Toby goes all in and Michael tells him to take it back, but he doesn’t, of course, and wins the hand. Toby interviews that he’s not really a card player, but it felt really good taking money from Michael. Elsewhere, Dwight plays and interviews that he thinks he’ll do well tonight because he’s good at reading people. Jim has a huge tell, he says; every time he has a good hand, he coughs. This turns out not to be accurate, and Dwight loses to Jim, who interviews that strangely, every time he coughs, Dwight folds. Jan arrives, freaking Michael out. He tells her that he invited Carol after Jan said she wasn’t coming. Jan doesn’t seem to care. As she heads off to get a drink, Dwight runs up, kissing Michael on the cheek, and tells him Jan is there. Dwight plays craps, getting some good luck from Angela, who he then kisses on the cheek. She slaps him and walks off, trying to hide her smile. Jim, Pam, and Kevin play together and Pam and Jim tease each other. Jan and Carol meet up at the bar and talk pleasantly as Michael decides to go somewhere else.

As Creed steals more chips, Ryan gets Kelly a drink at the bar; Jim notes that they must still be together. Ryan is obviously not that happy about it. Michael gets Carol to blow on his dice, then decides to have Jan do the same so he doesn’t look like he’s playing favorites. He loses anyway. Dwight drills Jan on where she’s spending the night, finally realizing that she must be staying with Michael. Kevin plays against Phyllis and Bob Vance, interviewing that in 2002, he won a tournament at the World Series of Poker, so he’s pretty good. He’s not as good as Phyllis, though, as she accidentally stumbles upon a winning hand. “I suck,” Kevin despairs. At the bar, Roy tells him he loved his band’s tape and wants to hire him for the wedding, even though he hasn’t talked it over with Pam yet. Jim finds Jan smoking outside and listens to her lament hooking up with Michael. She asks if he’s given any more thought to the transfer; he has, but he hasn’t discussed it with anyone else yet. Inside, Angela notices Creed stealing some chips.

At the end of the night, Creed wins the chip count and gets his refrigerator. He shakes Bob Vance’s hand as chips spill out of his sleeve and tells everyone that he’s never owned a fridge before. Outside, Pam says goodbye to Roy, who’s tired and heading home. Jim joins Pam and she teases him about losing money to her. Jim decides that it’s time to announce that he’s in love with her. She’s not sure how to respond, but he says he just needed her to know. Pam finally says that Jim has no idea what his friendship means to her. Jim wants to be more than just friends, but Pam says it’s not possible. “I’m really sorry if you misinterpreted things,” she says. “I’m sorry if I misinterpreted that…our friendship,” he replies before walking away. Inside, Jan says good night to Michael and Carol and heads off. Michael interviews that the hero got the girl and Jan is happy. He doesn’t realize that Jan did bring an overnight bag with her and planned to spend the night with him. In the office, Pam talks to her mom on the phone, telling her what happened with Jim. She’s not sure what to say, noting that Jim is her best friend. Jim arrives and Pam hangs up, ready to talk, but he just grabs her and they kiss.

PRANKS JIM AND PAM PLAY ON DWIGHT: Both make him think that Jim can make things move through mind control.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “Every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” - Michael to Toby

Michael: “I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.”
Jim: “Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.”
Michael: “No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.”
Phyllis: “Afghani.”
Michael: “What?”
Phyllis: “Afghani.”
Michael: “That’s a dog.”
Pam: “No, that's afghan.”
Michael: “That’s a shawl.”
Dwight: “Wait, canine AIDS?”
Michael: “No, humans with AIDS.”
Creed: “Who has AIDS?”
Jim: “Guys, the Afghanistanannis.”
Michael: “Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.”


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