"Raincoats and Recipes"
Written and directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino

Early in the morning, Lorelai finds Rory in the kitchen, wide awake and making macaroni and cheese, her favorite food for when she can’t sleep. She’s also doing her laundry and writing her résumé. Lorelai locks her in the laundry room so she can get some peace and quiet. At the inn, Lorelai and Michel make last-minute arrangements for the test run before the grand opening; their families and friends will be staying in the rooms as guests. Michel wants a room for his dogs but Lorelai refuses. Tom promises a worried Lorelai that the doors to all of the rooms will be there in time for the opening. Kirk puts wood in all the fireplaces as Lulu sits nearby, admiring her boyfriend. Lorelai offers her and Kirk the room that Michel wanted for the dogs. Sookie oversees her kitchen staff, raving about them to Lorelai. Lorelai notes that there are seven workers there, though they’re only budgeted for five. Sookie explains that she hired seven, hoping that two would fail and they would be able to fire them. Her plan backfired because all seven are great. Lorelai notes that the test run might send a couple of them running for the door, but if that doesn’t happen, Sookie will have to fire two of them.

Lorelai tells Michel that Lulu and Kirk will be in the dogs’ room and he reminds her that Luke is coming. She gets a little mushy, noting that she invited him before the events of “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights.” She hugs Sookie, remembering that it’s her wedding anniversary. Sookie, who didn’t so much remember, runs off. Rory wakes up and finds a Post-It on her forehead from Lorelai telling her to meet her at the diner for lunch. She heads over to Lane’s apartment, where the girls attempt to play a video game. Lane pulls up the floorboards (as she is accustomed to do) to show Rory her secret stash of food, which she doesn’t want Brian and Zach to know about. Rory tells her that Jess came to see her (see “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights”) and wanted her to go off with him. She seems to have finally realize that Jess isn’t the great guy she used to think he was, while Dean was practically perfect. She laments that she blew it with Dean and regrets not appreciating him when they were together. Later, Rory heads to the diner, complaining that Lorelai let her sleep instead of getting her up so she wouldn’t waste her day. Lorelai notes that Luke is approaching and tells Rory to pay close attention to his behavior. He acts normally and Lorelai can’t get Rory to notice anything different.

Lorelai drags Rory outside and tells her that she thinks she and Luke are dating. They went to Liz’s wedding together and wound up dancing; Lorelai seems very impressed that Luke can waltz. She continues that he walked her home and asked her to a movie, which Rory thinks sounds like they’re dating. Lorelai doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Rory notes that Luke is a major part of their lives, so people will know if he and Lorelai date, and if things don’t work out, Rory will be affected. Lorelai thinks they’re getting ahead of themselves, so they go back inside to see if anything is weird. Lorelai takes care of that herself by leaning on the table and sending everything clattering to the floor. “That was a little weird,” Rory points out as she spots Dean outside; he avoids her. At Friday night dinner, Rory and Lorelai trade garnishes since Lorelai isn’t impressed by the main course. Emily suggests that she and Rory go to Europe for the summer; Lorelai thinks this is out of the blue. Richard is annoyed that dessert is taking so long. Lorelai mentions the test run at the inn and invites her parents, trying to guilt them by noting that she’s been working towards this for 20 years. Emily finally tells her that they’ll go. After dinner, Lorelai tells Rory that she’s going to put Richard and Emily in a bungalow near the inn so they’ll either have to make up or kill each other. “Well, look who died and made you Hayley Mills,” Rory comments.

Kirk goes to the diner and drags Luke up to his apartment, where he admits that he and Lulu haven’t spent the night together yet. Kirk has night terrors and often thinks that he’s in danger in the middle of the night. He’s worried about how Lulu will take the news, and since he hasn’t told her he loves her yet, he doesn’t want to assault her before he admits that. Kirk explains that he called the inn and asked to be put in the room next to Luke’s, so if Luke hears anything (“screaming or Russian”) he can come in and pull Kirk off of Lulu - “unless, when you come in, it looks like you shouldn’t pull me off of Lulu.” Luke reluctantly agrees and Kirk asks him what kind of clothes he’s taking for the weekend. Just before the test run at the inn, Sookie tells Lorelai that all seven of her workers are great; she wishes one would suck so she wouldn’t be under so much pressure. Lorelai is still stressing over the missing doors and tells Rory, “Hey, I’ve changed my mind. I want to be a ballerina.” The guests start arriving and Lorelai begs Michel to stall them until the doors arrive. Sookie notes that if Michel were on her kitchen staff, she’d have an easy decision to make. Fortunately, the doors show up just as the guests do. As everyone admires the property, Kirk worries that Luke won’t make it there before bedtime.

Rory runs into Dean and asks him if they can talk. She tells him that Jess didn’t stick around and wonders why Dean hasn’t answered any of her messages. He notes that she told him to leave, too, but she says she only did it so she could tell Jess to leave. Dean admits that he thought they had gotten back together. Rory asks why this would matter to him and he tells her that he doesn’t want them to be together. They come close to kissing but are interrupted when Dean has to get back to work. Lorelai tells Miss Patty to be difficult to test the staff; Taylor assures her that he’ll be good at that. Kirk asks Michel to remove a bunch of stuff from his room so he won’t have any weapons around. Emily and Richard arrive with a lot of luggage and Lorelai has them taken to the bungalow. “You are the bad seed,” Rory tells her. “‘I have the prettiest mother. Everybody thinks so,’” Lorelai corrects. Luke appears with flowers for Lorelai, who winds up walking into a door because she’s so flustered around him. After Luke leaves, Rory gives Lorelai a strange look and she threatens to lock her up again. At dinner, Lorelai checks on the guests and admires the shirt Sookie got for Jackson as a last minute anniversary gift. Miss Patty and Babette are sitting with Luke, wearing their robes, and Luke has been traumatized by Babette’s unreliable wardrobe. Kirk lets Luke know that everything is ready. Sookie asks Taylor how one of the servers is doing; she’s disappointed to hear that he’s excellent and she can’t fire him.

In the kitchen, Lorelai, Michel, and Sookie are pleased to realize that things are going well and their plans of running their own inn are going to work out. Back in the lobby, Lorelai comes face to face with Digger, who wants to talk. He apparently doesn’t think that they actually broke up (“Afterboom”), but rather that they were just taking some time apart. Lorelai tries to get him to leave, but he asks for a room, not wanting to wait to talk. He takes a seat in the lobby, waiting for her to take a break. That night, the guests hang out together and Lulu tells Kirk that she’s ready for bed. He quickly (and loudly) shares the information with Luke. “I think Kirk wants you to go upstairs and make love to him,” Babette comments. Lorelai tells Rory that they locked the kitchen staff in a room with Michel, but the plan backfired and six workers quit. She sends Rory home to get some CDs. Lorelai heads back to the lobby with food for Digger and asks him how much longer he plans to stay. He says that he’ll be there as long as necessary because he doesn’t want to lose something so important to him. Babette tells Luke who Digger is and fills him in on their whole relationship. Luke wonders if they’re still together.

Emily returns, upset about the accommodations, which Lorelai tries to convince her are romantic. Emily says that Lorelai knows she and Richard are separated but stuck them together anyway. She demands a room in the actual inn, but Lorelai wants her and Richard to talk. Emily announces that she’ll stay in the lobby and starts chatting with Digger, asking if he has a room. “No, Mom, he doesn’t. He just showed up here, because, apparently, it’s Blake Edwards night at the Dragonfly,” Lorelai says. Richard comes in and asks Lorelai if she’s trying to kill them. He announces that he’s packed and it’s time to leave. “Can I get their room?” Digger asks. Dean shows up at the Gilmores’ house, having found out from Lorelai that Rory is there. They make small talk until Dean finally admits that things with Lindsay aren’t working out. He knows that they made a mistake and it’s over. He assures her that he’ll be happy again and they start kissing. At the inn, Luke goes into the lobby, where Digger is alone, and they make small talk as well. Digger tells him that he and Lorelai are dating, which saddens him.

After Digger leaves the room, Lorelai arrives and Luke blasts her for leading him on when his intentions were clear and she was supposedly already dating someone. He gets worked up, talking about how he wanted his actions to speak for him and how he did everything the self-help book said (see “Luke Can See Her Face”). Once Lorelai agrees that they shared a moment after the wedding, Luke asks her to stand still and kisses her. She pulls away, then asks him to stand still so she can kiss him. The moment is interrupted when a naked Kirk comes screaming down the stairs and out the front door. Lorelai heads home, raving about everything that’s happened, and a post-coital Rory and Dean try to cover up their activities. Dean leaves and Rory assures her mother that they were safe. Lorelai can’t get over the fact that Dean is still married. Rory argues that he’s separated, but Lorelai points out that she’s “the other woman.” Rory says that at least her first sexual experience was with someone nice, who loves her, but Lorelai says that she didn’t raise Rory to be like this. Rory points out that Lorelai slept with Christopher while he was with Sherry (though Lorelai didn’t actually know that). She starts to leave the house, angry that Lorelai has ruined what was supposed to be a special night. She calls Dean’s phone, which Lindsay answers, then hangs up and cries. Lorelai just watches her.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Michel: “I don’t understand why you get to bring Rory and I don’t get to bring my Chows.”
Lorelai: “Because I’m mad with power.”
Michel: “They are cleaner than she is. They are quieter than she is.”
Lorelai: “Stop comparing your dogs to my kid.”
Michel: “As much as you love Rory, that is how much I love Paw-Paw and Chin-Chin.”
Lorelai: “I gave birth to her! I carried her inside me, and 9 months and 26 hours later, she came out!”
Michel: “If I could have given birth to them myself, I would have, but I didn’t have that choice!”

Sookie: “Look at how he chopped these onions. I just want to shove a string through them and wear them around my neck!”
Michel: “That wouldn’t be at all eccentric.”

Lorelai: “Luke can waltz.”
Rory: “Look how you just said, ‘Luke can waltz.’”
Lorelai: “What? I’m just saying, I’m surprised that Luke can waltz.”
Rory: “That sounded more like, ‘I’m surprised I still have my clothes on.’”

“I don’t have windows. My room at my mom’s house used to be a bomb shelter. It’s very cold but great for racquetball.” - Kirk

Lorelai: “Tom, I’m loving you like a two-dollar whore.”
Tom: “Terrific. I’ll tell the wife.”

Rory: “The food’s great, Mom.”
Jackson: “Yes, it is great.”
Rory: “Although I admit, I know the chef, so I’m a little biased.”
Jackson: “You’re a little biased. I’m sleeping with her.”
Rory: “You also grew the vegetables.”
Jackson: “Oh, I did. I can’t be trusted at all.”

Luke: “And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment.”
Lorelai: “There was! There was a moment.” (he moves closer to her) “What are you doing?”
Luke: “Will you just stand still?” (he kisses her; she pulls away, then moves closer) “What are you doing?”
Lorelai: “Will you just stand still?” (she kisses him)

“I have got to learn that, always, without fail, Kirk equals camera.” - Lorelai


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