"Something Blue"
Written by Tracey Forbes; directed by Nick Marck

Willow walks around Oz’s room, sadly looking at all of his things. In a campus lounge, Riley hangs up a banner for a group which turns out to be the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance. Buffy approaches him and he mentions that she had said she wanted to have a picnic. He invites her on one, but she doesn’t remember actually talking about it with him. He says that he must have practiced the conversation in his own head and tells her that sometimes she’s tricky to talk to. He says that she’s a mystery, then adds that “probably every beautiful girl has some jerk telling her she’s a mystery.” Buffy is flattered that he thinks she’s beautiful. Later, she discusses the conversation with Willow while patrolling. She says that she likes Riley, but that something seems to be missing. “He’s not making you miserable?” Willow asks. Buffy wonders if she can have a relationship without pain, then questions why she feels that love must accompany fighting as she stakes a vampire.

Spike is chained up in the bathtub in Giles’ bathroom, where Buffy is trying to get information out of him. He isn’t very forthcoming, and wants to watch TV. Giles brings him blood in a “Kiss the Librarian” mug and Buffy reluctantly holds the mug for him while he drinks through a straw. He makes a snide comment about her doing the same for Angel and she takes away his meal, refusing to give it back until he tells them something useful. Spike and Buffy start to bicker and he tries to attack her, but his chains prevent him from doing anything. She teases him by exposing her neck and he yelps for Giles to make her stop. Giles retreats to the living room, where Willow is looking for a spell to get Spike to talk. She finds a truth spell and promises to stop by the magic shop the next day to get the necessary supplies. Back in the bathroom, Giles tells Buffy that he thinks Willow is doing better after the break-up (see “Wild at Heart,” if you must), but Spike says that anyone can tell she’s still miserable.

Willow goes back to Oz’s room, this time finding all of his things gone. Later, she tearfully tells Buffy that he sent for his things and doesn’t seem to be planning to come back to Sunnydale. Still chained up in the tub, Spike yells to Giles that it’s time for Passions. Giles tries to call Willow, who never came over to do the truth spell, while Spike complains that “Timmy’s down the bloody well.” Giles tells Willow’s answering machine that he would like to have his bathroom back so that he can shower alone. Buffy and Riley are somewhere on campus, having their picnic and discussing driving, which Riley likes to do for fun. Buffy admits that she and cars “are like…un-mixy things” and the conversation seems to veer off into “metaphor for sex” land. Willow arrives, apologizing for interrupting and sadly noticing that their apples are turning brown, “the way they do.” Buffy and Riley aren’t quite sure how to respond.

That night, Buffy, Xander, and Anya go to the Bronze, where Anya wishes that she had her powers back so that she could hurt Oz for Willow’s sake. They soon spot Willow, who’s happily dancing with the crowd. She joins the others, telling them that she decided to stop feeling sorry for herself. They soon see, however, that she’s actually been drinking. Buffy reminds her of the events of “Beer Bad” and tries to take the beer from her, but Willow protests that she deserves to “wade” (rather than drown) her sorrows. Xander tells her that they all have pain and she mocks him about living in his parents’ basement. Buffy tells Willow she’s taking her home, promising that she’ll be glad when the Scoobies are still her friends in the morning. Willow tearfully says that she just wants the pain to go away, and Buffy says that she has to work through it. Willow, however, would rather make it disappear. That night, she sneaks into the bathroom and does a spell to have her will done.

The next morning, Willow tries to see if her spell worked, but doesn’t get any results. Giles comes over and says that he’s worried about her - she never came to do the truth spell. She says that she got the supplies, she just forgot about actually doing the spell, and adds that she tried the willing spell. He admonishes that her energy is unbalanced and that she shouldn’t be doing spells right now. She thinks he’s punishing her when she’s in pain, then accuses him and the other Scoobies of not wanting to be inconvenienced by her situation. Giles tries to sympathize, but she shoots back, “No, you don’t. You say that you do, but you don’t see anything.” Suddenly, her eyes briefly glow silver. Giles removes his glasses and tries to clear his vision, which has suddenly blurred. He leaves, accidentally bumping into someone in the hallway.

In his living room, Giles starts the truth spell on Spike, but has a hard time reading the words. Spike spots the key to his chains and secretly moves it closer to himself. He grabs the key, unlocks himself, shoves Giles aside, and runs out of the apartment. In Buffy and Willow’s dorm room, Willow plays with Amy, who’s still a rat (see “Gingerbread”), and complains to Buffy about Giles. She says that, if she really had power, she could have made Oz stay with her, though Buffy points out that she wouldn’t have wanted him to stay if he’d been forced to. She says that Amy has more power than her, but Willow can’t get anything from her. “First, she’s a perfectly normal girl,” Willow says. She and Buffy don’t see Amy turning back to her human self behind them. “Then, poof - she’s a rat,” Willow continues, and Amy turns back into a rat. Buffy gets a call from Giles, informing her that Spike has escaped, and tells Willow that she has to go. Willow protests, saying that they were going to have a girl’s night, but Buffy tells her she has to get Spike back to Giles’ first. “I don't see the big,” says Willow. “He's probably just standing out there. You could find him in two seconds.”

In fact, Spike is right outside and Buffy finds him quickly. He realizes that they’re in the spot where the door to the commando lab was when he escaped, and he starts clawing at the ground, demanding that they fix him. Buffy grabs him and he punches her, immediately experiencing pain. She punches him back, making the pain greater. Buffy drags him back to Giles’ house and Spike mocks that she doesn’t have the guts to do anything to him. As they bicker in the living room, a distracted Giles tries to figure out what’s going on with his eyesight. In Xander’s basement, Willow continues to complain and he points out that Buffy couldn’t just forget about Spike. Willow says that Spike is more important than her, and Xander tells her that Buffy needs Spike in order to figure out where the commandos are. “Well, fine,” Willow says, “Why doesn’t she just go marry him?” Giles enters the living room to find Buffy sitting and Spike kneeling in front of her. “Just say ‘yes,’ and make me the happiest man on earth,” Spike says to her. “Oh, Spike! Of course it’s yes!” Buffy exclaims. They hug and kiss, and Buffy shows off her ring to Giles: “You’ll never believe what’s happened!”

Xander tells Willow that, eventually, she’ll meet someone else, but she thinks that all relationships are doomed. She mentions that his track record isn’t very respectable (see “Teacher’s Pet” and “Inca Mummy Girl”) and says that he’s a “demon magnet.” Giles leaves another message on Willow’s answering machine, telling her that his vision is poor and that “something else is going wrong.” Buffy gives Spike a mug of blood and they smooch. They start to put together preparations for their wedding, and Buffy suggests a daytime wedding, even though Spike is a little allergic to daytime. They keep smooching and Giles grows more and more irritated with them. Buffy asks him to give her away, and at first he’s touched, but he soon realizes that something is causing the marriage madness. She mentions Angel, and Spike grows offended, so Buffy mentions Drusilla. She realizes that something’s wrong with Giles, who admits that he’s blind. Spike suggests finding a reversal spell and says that he’ll help out. Giles is surprised that Spike is being nice to him, and Buffy tells Giles that they’re a family now. “That’s all right,” Giles says, heading for the kitchen. “I have more scotch.”

Later, Buffy leaves a magic shop and stops to admire wedding dresses in the window of a bridal shop. Riley spots her and approaches. She tells him that she really likes him and wants to stay friends with him, then invites him to be there on “the day.” He’s confused, and she tells him she wants him to come to her wedding. He’s even more confused, asking her to start over when she starts babbling about how she and Spike always fought before. Riley finally decides that going away is the best option, and Buffy laments the fact that everyone’s ruining her “happy day.” Xander and Anya hang out in his basement, making out and deciding not to worry about Willow’s problems anymore. They’re interrupted when a demon breaks into the basement. They fight it until Anya realizes that it’s a demon that can only be killed by drowning. However, right after they drown it, another comes in.

Buffy plays with plastic bride and groom cake-toppers while Giles asks if she’s actually going to make an effort to help him. She tells him that they’ll have to wait until the next day to get the necessary supplies. Spike complains that the groom figure looks “insipid” and “clearly human,” so Buffy suggests smearing red paint on his mouth to symbolize “the blood of the innocent.” Giles yells for them to stop kissing (“I can hear the smacking”). Buffy and Spike discuss wedding invitations, mocking each other’s names. Xander and Anya arrive, having escaped the demons that were chasing them, and Xander is shocked to see that Spike is untied. He and Anya are also surprised to learn that Giles is blind. Anya asks why Spike and Buffy are holding hands and Buffy gives them the good news. Xander and Anya are no more pleased by the announcement than Giles was.

Xander remembers Willow mentioning marriage and the Scoobies realize that her willing spell worked after all. Buffy believes that she wasn’t affected by the spell, however. They set out to find Willow, who returns to her dorm room and is grabbed by a demon. The Scoobies arrive at the dorm and find a large burn in the carpet. Anya realizes that D’Hoffryn (last seen in “Doppelgangland”) has opened a portal in the room. Buffy asks why he would have hurt Willow, but Anya says that she doesn’t think he has. In his home of Arash Ma’har, D’Hoffryn tells Willow that her pain is audible and drew him to her. As the Scoobies head for the cemetery, Anya explains that D’Hoffryn made her a demon centuries earlier. Buffy is distracted from the matter at hand by the beautiful foliage, and attempts to fight a demon without disrupting. Inside a crypt, the Scoobies fend off other demons while Anya begins a chant to invoke D’Hoffryn.

D’Hoffryn tells Willow that the pain she has caused her friends is “inspiring,” but she doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. The fighting and chanting continue in the crypt. D’Hoffryn gives Willow a glimpse of the action and she protests that she didn’t mean for this to happen. She tells him that she doesn’t want to become a demon, and fears that he will do something to harm her. However, he just says “oh, well,” and gives her his talisman, telling her to give him a chant if she changes her mind. (She won’t change her mind, but she will use the talisman in “Selfless.”) In the midst of the fighting, Buffy and Spike start kissing again. Willow appears in the crypt and breaks the spell, making the demons disappear. Buffy and Spike suddenly realize what they’ve been doing all day. Everyone looks at Willow, who gives an apologetic wave.

Willow bakes dozens of cookies in Giles’ kitchen to apologize for her actions. Giles complains that she could have given him 20-20 vision when she restored his sight. Spike asks for a cookie, wanting to get the “Buffy taste” out of his mouth. He also spills that Buffy wanted their first dance to be to “Wind Beneath My Wings.” She says that it was the spell’s fault. Buffy realizes that Riley thinks she’s engaged and freaks out about what she’ll say the next time she sees him. The next day, she tells Riley that her engagement was a joke - she wanted to give him a hard time when he freaked out upon seeing her looking at wedding dresses. She says that he has a lot to learn about women, and he replies that she’ll be the one to teach him.

MORAL, or CRAMMING COMPLEX ISSUES INTO A NUTSHELL: If you suddenly begin kissing your worst enemy, be afraid.

GRADE: A I defy you to watch this episode and not laugh out loud.

MEMORABLE QUOTES - (Riley hangs up a banner for the Lesbian Alliance)
Buffy: “Is there something you want to tell me?”
Riley: “What? Oh, yes. I am a lesbian.”
Buffy: “Well, it’s good that you’re so open about it.”

Giles: “Look, look, Spike - we have no intention of killing a harmless…uh, creature…but we have to know what’s been done to you. We can’t let you go until we’re sure that you’re…impotent--.”
Spike: “Hey!”
Giles: “Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we’re sure you're - you're….”
Buffy: “Flaccid?”
Spike: “You are one step away, missy.”
Buffy: “Giles, help! He’s gonna scold me.”

Spike:Passions is on! Timmy’s down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I’ll—-.”
Giles: “You’ll do what? Lick me to death?”

“I believe that’s the dance of a Brave Little Toaster.” - Xander, re: Willow

“Giles! I accidentally killed Spike! That’s okay, right?” - Buffy

Buffy: “How ‘bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.”
Spike: “Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.”
Buffy: “Under the trees. Indirect sunlight only.”
Spike: “Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again, you’re registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust.”

Buffy: “I’m getting married - can you believe it?”
Riley: “I don’t think ‘no’ is a strong enough word.”

“You’ll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him.” - Buffy to Riley, re: Spike

Riley: “Who is this guy? Does he go here?”
Buffy: “Spike? Oh, no. He’s totally old.”
Riley: “Old.”
Buffy: “Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was.”
Riley: “Okay. It’s late…and I’m, I’m very tired now. So, I’m just gonna go far away and be…away.”

“So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness…tomorrow.” - Giles

Buffy: “Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? ‘Cause, either way, it’s gonna look majorly weird.”
Spike: “Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.”
Buffy: “What’s wrong with Buffy?”
Giles: “Huh…such a good question.”

(Xander waves his hand in front of Giles’ face)
Giles: “Please stop whatever you’re doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.”
Spike: “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.”

Buffy: “Spike and I are getting married!”
Xander: “How? What? How?”
Giles: “Three excellent questions.”
Spike: “What are you lookin’ at?”
Buffy: “The man I love.”
(Buffy and Spike kiss)
Xander: “Can I be blind, too?”

Buffy: “She did a spell.”
Giles: “Yes, to have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.”
Buffy: “And you both were affected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.”
Xander: “Yeah. Right. You’re marrying Spike because you’re so right for each other.”
Buffy: “Xander.”
Spike: “That’s it - you’re off the usher list.”

D’Hoffryn: “You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain - it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call.”
Willow: “I-I’m sorry. I’ll try for a quiet rage. ‘Bye.”

“Spike lips! Lips of Spike!” - Buffy, after the spell is broken

Buffy: “You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.”
Riley: “So you decided to tell me you’re getting married.”
Buffy: “Uh-huh.”
Riley: “So, you’re insane.”
Buffy: “Uh-huh!”


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