"Lorelai’s First Cotillion"
Written by Rina Mimoun; directed by Lee Shallat-Chemel

Rory and Lorelai head to Friday night dinner, which Lorelai is really dreading having to attend. Rory notes that they haven’t been there for three weeks, though Lorelai reminds her that she didn’t stay the whole time last week (see “Partings”), so she owes Lorelai a week. She suggests that she get to leave early to spend time with Logan. Lorelai doesn’t want to go in because of the situation with Luke, though Rory thinks Emily has probably already figured it out because of “the house debacle” (see “Driving Miss Gilmore”). Rory wants Lorelai to announce the news quickly so they can move on to other topics of conversation. She also offers to deflect the conversation by talking about Bangalore. Lorelai suggests that she announce that she’s converting to Judaism. A girl named Charlotte answers the door and Lorelai wonders if Emily has run out of adults to hire as maids. Emily explains that Charlotte’s grandparents are friends of hers, and she’s a student of Emily’s in the cotillion class the DAR has wrangled her into leading. She missed a session on table manners, so Emily invited her over to make the dinner a makeup class. Lorelai offers to show Charlotte some escape routes, and Charlotte just remarks that Emily said she’d have a bunch of smart remarks. During dinner, Rory tells Charlotte that she had a coming-out party (see “Presenting Lorelai Gilmore”) but never had a cotillion. Lorelai doesn’t think cotillions are that interesting, but Emily points out that Lorelai never had one.

Rory bugs Lorelai to share the news about Luke, but Lorelai says she hasn’t had an opening yet. Conversation turns to Rory’s summer plans, and she mentions that she’s working with Paris after all (see “The Long Morrow”). Richard asks about Lorelai, who finally sneaks in the news that she and Luke broke up. Her parents have little reaction and change the subject. Lorelai encourages them to talk about the breakup, then accuses them of being happy because they never liked Luke. Emily notes that they were going to buy them a house, so obviously they didn’t hate Luke. After a few minutes of bickering, Rory finally shouts, “Bangalore! Bangalore!” The next morning, Logan calls Rory early in the morning and they talk about what’s going on in their lives. In the kitchen, Lorelai tells Rory that she’s not sure she really likes Pop-Tarts. She’s been thinking about her parents’ non-freak-out about the breakup and how their reactions to news are often her compass for how she’s supposed to feel about things; she knows she’s doing what she wants when it freaks her parents out. She’s not sure how much of what she does is because it’s against what her parents would want. Lorelai started eating Pop-Tarts when she realized how much Emily would hate it, and now she’s not sure she really likes them. She’s now been eating a bunch of different flavors to see which ones she likes. The topic switches to Rory and Logan, and Rory expresses her annoyance with their lack of connection over the phone.

Luke celebrates the diner’s grand reopening as Miss Patty and Babette try to figure out what’s changed (though he claims he hasn’t changed anything). Rory arrives and she and Luke make small talk, avoiding any mention of Lorelai. Rory asks Lane how Zach took the news of her pregnancy (see “That’s What You Get, Folks, For Makin’ Whoopee”), but Lane hasn’t told him yet. She notes that most people wait three months to announce the news anyway, though Rory points out that they don’t wait that long to tell the baby’s father. She jokes that Lane could wait until the baby’s old enough to tell Zach herself; that just makes Lane freak out about not being ready to have a child. Lorelai heads to the inn, wearing her hair differently in order to find out if she likes that style. She even tied her shoes differently this morning and learned that the new way is faster. Michel announces that Emily has arrived to try out a menu for a tea; she’s bringing her cotillion girls by later in the week for some etiquette training. She’s not thrilled with Sookie’s suggestion for some PB&Js, and Lorelai asks Sookie how it feels to be the subject of criticism for once. As Emily leaves the room, she tells Lorelai she likes her hair. At the Yale Daily News offices, Paris heckles her tutors and chastises Rory for letting her student flirt with her. She’d much rather have the students fear the tutors. After everyone else leaves, Paris tells Rory they can spend five minutes together as friends rather than boss and employee, but Rory has to call Logan. Paris encourages her to try phone sex, or text-message sex, which she and Doyle are doing right now.

At their apartment, Zach tells Brian that he thinks Lane wants a divorce, since she’s been avoiding him. Brian thinks maybe the parasite she had attacked her brain and ate away the part that was in love with Zach. Zach can’t believe it’s over already - they haven’t even written their thank-you notes. Lane arrives home and tries to get Brian to leave the room, but Zach says she can say anything in front of him. Lane announces that she’s pregnant and Brian silently creeps out of the room. Zach panics, then exclaims, “Brian must be freaking out!” Emily arrives at the inn with her cotillion girls, who Michel automatically loves. One girl, Caroline, is the class clown and obviously the Lorelai of the group. Lorelai and Michel watch the group, him wishing he could go back and redo his childhood this way and her having bad flashbacks to her own experiences. Michel begs Lorelai to take him to the cotillion, but she says she’s not going anyway. He claims that he owes her, since he took care of Paul Anka (who traumatized his chows and ruined his Prada loafers). Lorelai doesn’t remember the incident until Michel shows her the Post-Its she gave him promising him a favor. She would much rather buy him a house or a car, but Michael really wants to go to the cotillion. Back at their apartment, Lane realizes that Zach is either in complete denial about her pregnancy or has already forgotten what she told him.

Rory and Lane meet up at the bookstore, where Lane reads about pregnancy and Rory reads about sex, neither very happy about what she’s reading. Lane announces that she’s not going to give birth, so the baby will have to find another way to come out. Rory tries to encourage her, then distract her by reading from her sex book. Lane thinks she’s making a big deal out of the sex texting, but Rory thinks their relationship won’t be able to stand on just phone calls. She never realized how important the physical aspects of a relationship are. She texts Logan, then gets a call from Christopher, who wants to have dinner with her. Back at home, Rory teases Lorelai about going to the cotillion and Lorelai encourages her to never write anything down so she doesn’t have to keep her word on anything. Lorelai begs Rory to go to the cotillion for her, but Rory has plans with Christopher. She’s a little concerned that it’s awkward for Lorelai because she and Christopher aren’t talking, but Lorelai denies that. Rory tells Lorelai that she’s waiting for Logan to get back to her after her text; Lorelai thinks he just hasn’t seen it yet. At their apartment, Lane wants to talk to Zach about the baby, which he says he’s totally cool with. (He claims to be more concerned with how Brian’s taking the news.) Lane admits that she’s freaked out about having a child, which leads Zach to admit that he is, too. This results in the two of them bonding over being freaked out.

Lorelai and Michel arrive at the cotillion and she complains about the corsage he got her. Michel is excited to be there, of course, and gushes about how the kids there will grow up to be successful. Charlotte greets Lorelai and introduces her to her grandparents, who have only heard good things about Lorelai. Charlotte encourages Lorelai to dance with everyone else, but Lorelai tries to reject Michel when he asks her to dance with him. However, when she gets out on the dance floor, she has to admit that she’s having a good time. Christopher brings Rory home after dinner, and when Lorelai arrives home, Christopher tries to make small talk with her. She apologizes for not calling him back and asks him if he wants coffee. He doesn’t want to sit there and pretend nothing’s going on - he loves her and doesn’t regret what happened between them because he thinks it was right. He tells her he’s not going anywhere because this is it for him. Rory calls Logan (at 4:45 a.m. his time) and tells him she sent him a text he hasn’t replied to. It turns out he did respond, and she really enjoys his message. Logan wants her to respond, even though she doesn’t have her books with her. In her bedroom, Lorelai looks at her corsage and calls Christopher.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: Rory: “I had a coming-out party.”
Lorelai: “And I totally supported her decision. She shouldn’t have to hide her love for women.”
Emily: “Lorelai, there’s nothing funny about being a lesbian.”

Lorelai: “The Pop-Tart tasted like freedom and rebellion and independence.”
Rory: “Wow. That’s some Pop-Tart. What flavor was that?”

Lane: “I’m pregnant.”
Zach: “With a baby?”
Lane: “Yes, pregnant with a baby.”
Zach: “But how? When?”
Lane: “On a beach in Mexico, about three weeks ago. I’m pretty sure you were there.”

Lane: “Remember when my mom wanted me to date Henry Lee? He was, like, yea high. I would have had tiny, little yea-high babies.”
Rory: “Yeah, but he was your second cousin. I think you would have had other problems with those babies.”

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