"Look Who’s Stalking"
Written by John Enbom; directed by Michael Fields

Veronica is at a doctor’s office and has just been informed that she has chlamydia. She’s surprised, since the only person she’s ever had sex with was Duncan. She heads to school, where Wallace and Jackie are all over each other (see “Nevermind the Buttocks”); they tell Veronica that they’re practicing for the prom. Mac is less than thrilled about the dance because she’s been sold “as an indentured servant to Butters.” Clemmons announces over the loudspeaker that due to alcohol violations on the senior trip (just like my high school!), the prom has been cancelled. Mac is the only person who’s thrilled by this news. At home, Keith gets a call from Woody and winds up at the Camelot Motel, where Woody has clearly been in bed with a woman who is now unconscious. He explains that she’s with the incorporation campaign and must have taken some pills with the cocktails they were drinking. He asks Keith for help, but Keith reminds him that he’s only being paid to help Terrence. Woody convinces him to take the woman to the hospital discreetly. At Neptune High, Gia approaches Veronica and announces that she’s being stalked. She’s seen a car following her around and thinks she’s being followed by a Pan High guy she sang karaoke to. Veronica agrees to help her out, eager to take on a case for “the daughter of the most powerful man in town.”

Keith arrives at Mars Investigations to find Kendall and her legs waiting for him. She demands the return of her hard drive (see “Nevermind the Buttocks”) and excuses Liam nearly shooting Keith by pointing out that there was an intruder in her house. Keith asks if Dick Sr. knew about Kendall’s secret past and house, but she declines to answer. Veronica shows up just as Kendall is leaving and can’t refuse the opportunity to taunt her. Keith asks after Veronica’s doctor’s appointment but she doesn’t tell him her diagnosis. She asks to borrow some remote cameras for “a school project,” only revealing that one of her classmates is being followed. Keith tells her she can earn the cameras by helping him send out sketches of the man Cliff says stole his briefcase (see “The Rapes of Graff”). Apparently he won’t shut up about the experience. Later, Gia comes to the Mars residence while Veronica uses the cameras to scan the street outside. Gia spots the car and Veronica looks up the license plate online. She’s surprised to find out that the car belongs to Leo (last seen in “One Angry Veronica”). At school, Veronica tries to ask Logan if Duncan slept with anyone other than her and Meg, but all Logan will say is that Duncan would blush and take a lot of showers, which meant he was seeing someone. He then invites her to the alterna-prom he’s hosting at the Neptune Grand, inviting her to “bring whoever.”

Veronica meets with Leo at the Hut, pretending that she just wants to catch up with him. He’s now working private security and, like Veronica, has a horrible love life. Gia approaches and Veronica confronts Leo about stalking her. Leo reveals that Woody hired him to keep an eye on Gia, though he’s not sure why. Gia wonders if it has anything to do with what’s going on with Keith - the paper is now reporting that Keith was caught dealing with Woody’s campaign worker. Keith has apparently read the same story and heads to Woody’s office to confront him, as his office has been quoted as saying that Keith was hired to investigate leaks and “plied the staffer with alcohol.” Woody tells him that a lot is riding on the incorporation vote, so he had to do this. Keith replies that he’s voting against incorporation. Gia goes back to the Mars residence and tells Veronica that Woody said he hired Leo for normal election precautions. However, when she got home, she found a DVD of herself watching her brother’s soccer game. At school, Veronica and Gia watch the DVD again and Veronica realizes that the woman filming across the way probably has the stalker on tape. At Mars Investigations, Keith tells Lloyd, the reporter from “Leave it to Beaver,” that he never investigated leaks or gave alcohol to the staffer. Lloyd tells him that after the staffer was taken to the hospital, she disappeared.

At Neptune High, Wallace and Jackie discuss alternatives to the prom, but Jackie still wants to dress up. Wallace wants to go to the batting cage but Jackie plans to go see Terrence, who’s still in the hospital. She’s happy that their relationship has improved, mostly because now he actually has time for her. Veronica tells them about the alterna-prom, which they seem excited about. Mac just hopes that Butters doesn’t know anything about it. Corny hears about the alterna-prom and also seems intrigued. Keith visits Terrence at the hospital and asks him why he broke into Ms. Dumas’ family’s home (see “The Quick and the Wed”). Terrence replies that she was writing a tell-all about him and he didn’t want her parents to find out. Jackie arrives to spend some quality time with her obviously happy father. Gia gets the woman’s tape from the game and takes it to the Mars residence, where they see that Gia’s stalker is wearing a Neptune letterman jacket and seems to drive a red pickup truck. In the morning, Keith finds Veronica reading the paper and she comments on the story about him with the staffer. She heads off to vote on the incorporation issue; after some consideration, she votes against it. At Neptune High, Logan is less than thrilled to learn that word has spread about the alterna-prom and people he doesn’t want to attend are planning to come.

Veronica searches for red pickups driven by Neptune students but is unable to find any. Gia doesn’t care anymore anyway, since she’s upset that Keith is telling people Woody slept with a hooker he paid with money from the campaign. At home, Keith watches the news, which reports that there will be no incorporation. Veronica comes home and hears the news, then asks Keith for some help with Gia’s stalker. After watching the DVD of the soccer game, Keith shows Veronica the DVD taken at Woody’s house (see “Plan B”) and fills her in on what’s been happening. He adds that something dangerous could be happening and he wants Veronica to stay out of it. In study hall, Veronica works on stuffing envelopes with the sketch of the briefcase thief, though Mr. Wu doesn’t like her activities. Logan confronts Veronica about spreading the news about the alterna-prom, then notes that the guy in the sketch looks like one of his father’s cellmates (see “Rat Saw God”). Jackie hangs out with Terrence at the hospital and he warns her to be careful with Wallace. “I learned the birds and the bees the hard way,” she reminds him. (That will become clear in “Not Pictured.”) At Neptune, Veronica and Gia work on the school paper while Veronica tries to figure out how to warn Gia about Woody. Unfortunately, Gia isn’t helpful. On her way out, Veronica notes that Lucky the janitor drives a red pickup. She calls Keith to let him know, then heads back inside.

Veronica finds Gia in the janitor’s closet with Lucky, who’s telling her about his experiences overseas and showing her a scar he got from a roadside bomb, aka a “present.” After a number of attempts, Veronica finally gets Gia’s attention, but Gia alerts Lucky to her presence. While Lucky is distracted, Veronica tells Gia that he’s the stalker, but he brings out a knife before they can make their escape. Before he can do anything, Keith arrives, announcing that Lamb is on his way. Lucky will only say that he stalked Gia and filmed at Woody’s house because Woody deserved it. Lamb arrives, blasting Keith for coming inside, and takes over the situation. Keith responds by handcuffing himself to Lucky and throwing the key down a sink. The alterna-prom attendants begin to arrive at the Neptune Grand, including Dick, Madison, Veronica, Wallace, Jackie, Mac, Butters, and Corny, who all wind up in an elevator together. Everyone awkwardly waits through the long ride, which ends with Mac and Madison both saying “thank God” at the same time (see “Silence of the Lamb”). Up in Logan’s suite, Dick shows off the “party pig” (his beer keg) and Mac quickly looks for a drink, since, as Veronica explains, she “just had dinner on a pirate ship.” In lockup at the sheriff’s department, Keith asks Lamb what he meant about Woody deserving it, but before Lucky can answer, Lamb arrives to try to open the handcuffs. He’s unsuccessful.

Back at the alterna-prom, Butters tells Mac that he wanted to go out with her because they’re both weird. Since he considers that a good thing, Mac tells him he’s “really, really weird.” Dick tries to seduce Madison, but she’s not having any of it. Veronica takes the opportunity to make it clear that she knows Madison is seeing Lamb (see “The Rapes of Graff”). Madison takes off and Dick tries to see if he can get any farther with Veronica. Of course, he can’t. Veronica proceeds to save Gia from a trip to the dentist. Gia thanks her for the rescue back at school and apologizes for what she said about Keith. Later in the evening, Wallace and Jackie head off on their own, leaving a less-than-thrilled Veronica behind. A tipsy Logan approaches her and they discuss his love life, which hasn’t been the same since Veronica broke his heart. “I thought our story was epic, you know?” he says. He mentions that soon she’ll leave and never come back, then apologizes for last summer, telling her that he would do things differently if he could. They start to get closer but Veronica decides that it’s not the right time and takes off. Elsewhere, Wallace and Jackie get intimate with no reservations.

At the sheriff’s department, Keith tries again to get Lucky to talk about Woody. Lucky tells him that people think Woody is great, but they don’t really know who he is. He starts to reveal what he means, but Lamb returns and announces that Meg’s father has posted Lucky’s bail. At home the next morning, Keith asks Veronica about the alterna-prom but she doesn’t want to talk. He’s surprised to see an article in the paper revealing everything that Terrence wanted to keep quiet about his past. Jackie reads the same article at the hospital, then goes in to see her father. Veronica heads back to the Neptune Grand, where she apologizes to Logan for taking off. She then announces that she doesn’t want to lose him from her life, and though she doesn’t want to jump back into a relationship, she wants them to spend more time together after graduation. Unfortunately, Logan can’t remember any of their conversation from the previous night. Also unfortunately, Kendall has spent the night with him in the suite. She rubs this in Veronica’s face, then heads back inside. Logan tries to explain things to Veronica, but she’s too upset to listen and just leaves.

THE TITLE IS A PLAY ON... The movie Look Who’s Talking.

MEMORABLE QUOTES: “Yes! Prayer works!” - Mac, upon learning of the prom’s cancellation

Kendall: “Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.”
Veronica: “Like trouble with a capital T that rhymes with C that stands for--.”
Keith: “Veronica!”
Veronica: “I was gonna say cute.”

Gia: “How Mission: Impossible. I feel like at any moment Tom Cruise is gonna dangle from the ceiling on cables.”
Veronica: “Great. Now I won’t be able to sleep. I hope he doesn’t try to marry me.”

Logan: “You have that ‘I’d rather be making out with a broken bottle’ look. Which, if history serves, means you’re about to say something awkward.”
Veronica: “This? This is my ‘I’d rather be spelunking’ look. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Logan: “Who you taking to the alterna-prom?”
Dick: “Well, I considered a lot of chicks, but finally figured I’d just go stag. I mean, it’s not the prom, it’s the alterna-prom. Why narrow my options?”
Logan: “You were shot down, huh?”
Dick: “It’s like a conspiracy.”
Logan: “It’s a good thing we’re graduating. Sounds like you’ve hit that point where every girl in school knows you.”
Dick: “Bring on the sorority girls!”

Veronica: “So Neptune has to keep us?”
Keith: “What’s a yacht without barnacles?”

Veronica: “Mac, you really do look--.”
Mac: “Don’t distract me. I’m planning how to kill you and make it look like an accident.”

Lamb: “What are you looking at, nut job?”
Keith: “Cut him some slack, Don.”
Lamb: “I wasn’t talking to him, Keith.”
Lucky: “I don’t think he likes you.”

Veronica: “Leave her alone, Dick. You don’t want to make her have to call the law, ‘cause I hear the law really comes down hard. Have you heard that?”
Madison: “So, I guess you’re here alone since Duncan, like, ran away or whatever.”
Veronica: “You mean took it on the lam? ‘Cause I can’t imagine what that’s like. Can you? Being on the Lamb? Think you’d just want to close your eyes and pray for it all to end. You’d have the cops crawling all over you. Right?”

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